sicut animam suam : 'it's just life'

[Palerider]

My mother`s bed was lowered at this stage and a mattress put on the floor next to her bed.

I know this might not have been safe if she had tried to stand on the mattress but she didn`t. She tended to roll out of bed and had previously sustained carpet burns.

I don`t know whether or not this would be suitable for your mother @Palerider

Thanks @Grannie G -mum wanders all night round the unit and often she sits with the staff in the middle of the night but she does shuffle up and down the corridors and thats where they found her, she hadn't shouted or made any noise when she fell (or slipped). There's not much that can be done for this part of mums journey other than keep an eye and manage her if she falls.

 

[Palerider]

Well I guess this day would come and it is a real marker for mum, she can no longer mobilise and hasn't since she returned from hospital. I think mum is on the final decline after her battle over the last year to be who she is as much as possible and that has shone through. Will have to take things day by day and see if this is going to be a long drawn out decline. I am struggling because I don't want mum to leave, but i also know there is nothing I can do and she always said she would not want to coninue past the stage she already has -but that is always an uncertain view until we arrive at the point we said we didn't want to....

I am really strugging with this to be honest and this disease -I just hate it

 

[Izzy]

It’s heartbreaking @Palerider. Thinking of you and Wishing you strength.

 

[Jaded'n'faded]

Sorry to hear of your mum's fall and subsequent downturn.

it's incredibly difficult when they shouldn't really be moving around on their own and forget they no longer can - falls become inevitable because you just can't watch someone all the time. It's like you know exactly what is going to happen but there's nothing you can do to prevent it and you just have to step back and watch/wait.

I really feel for you, Simon.

 

[Palerider]

I've managed to get an appointment for today to visit as I have a feeling mum will start to give up now and I want to make the most of the time we have, which is difficult as work has been full on of late. I've bought more toiletries as she is showered every day, though now I am not sure if that will be the case -unless they use the wheely shower chair?? I'll take in some flowers and her fave cake -costa raspberry and almond slice.

I messaged my brother and nephew (his son) and there has been no response, but at least I have let them know where mum is at.

 

[Sarasa]

Sorry to hear about your mother's downturn @Palerider. Thinking of you and I hope she enjoys your visit and the cake.

 

[Lynmax]

I’m sorry to hear about your mums latest fall and the implications, it’s going to be a tough time for you. I will be thinking of you in the days ahead. I hope you are able to visit your mum a lot and not have to battle with the home.

 

[Palerider]

Hmm the visits are getting harder as I see the decline. Mum was sat in her chair in her room dosing not surprising as it was after lunch. She woke up for me and loved her flowers but couldn't hold them. I set about putting them in water and placed them where she could see them from her chair and then got on and put her toiletries away only to discover the staff don't know what steridant is for -mum seems to have a few months supply!

We chatted and she made sense today more so than before but got jumbled and mixed up with a lot of her words. She had her cake, but less of it today and I got up to pass her a paper hanky and she said 'thank you Simon'. Anyway she seemed ok in herself not distressed and happily dosing in her room. She made no effort to move her legs and didn't try to get up which is a first for mum, she hasn't walked or made any effort to for a week now. Anyway the time went quickly and as it was time to go she smiled and closed her eyes again. For a moment I sat watching her and got teary If I am honest and remebered how things used to be for a fleeting moment.

 

[jennifer1967]

im surprised that they have left the steradent in her room. where i worked, we had to remove them and put them in a locked cupboard because they are poison if they decide to eat them. we used to run round and do it when they went to bed

 

[Palerider]

im surprised that they have left the steradent in her room. where i worked, we had to remove them and put them in a locked cupboard because they are poison if they decide to eat them. we used to run round and do it when they went to bed

Well mums steridant are all there so I am not sure if mum is at risk of eating them?. I think demetnia is a difficult game for all of us, but my mum is old enough and familiar enough to recgnise steridant! I was unlucky enough to find mums bottom set in her bathroom uncleaned and untreated with clear deposits on her dentures plus she did not seem to have her bottom dentures in her mouth?? I am sure no doubt this is an oversight (NOT) but how can people with dementia eat if they can't chew?? Each person is different with dmentia and we must always value that. Anyway I was more dissapointed with the fact that four tubes had not been used which explained the state of my mums false teeth !!!

What I find very vexing is that the last 12 moths of no visiting has excused somehow decent care....and I will be addressing this as my mums unit has yet again another new agency nurse

 

[Palerider]

Well mums steridant are all there so I am not sure if mum is at risk of eating them?. I think demetnia is a difficult game for all of us, but my mum is old enough and familiar enough to recgnise steridant! I was unlucky enough to find mums bottom set in her bathroom uncleaned and untreated with clear deposits on her dentures plus she did not seem to have her bottom dentures in her mouth?? I am sure no doubt this is an oversight (NOT) but how can people with dementia eat if they can't chew?? Each person is different with dmentia and we must always value that. Anyway I was more dissapointed with the fact that four tubes had not been used which explained the state of my mums false teeth !!!

What I find very vexing is that the last 12 moths of no visiting has excused somehow decent care....and I will be addressing this as my mums unit has yet again another new agency nurse

Just to add this seems trivial but this is BASIC care its not anything that requires a great deal of effort!

 

[Lone Wolf]

Too many care homes are negligent about oral care. I have to constantly pressure my partner's care home to follow some sort of daily teeth cleaning. If I am ever allowed daily in-room visits again, I will do it myself, like I did before lockout. It should be a basic element of every care plan & CQC should be ensuring compliance. Any mouth problems could easily trigger a downward spiral.

 

[Palerider]

Too many care homes are negligent about oral care. I have to constantly pressure my partner's care home to follow some sort of daily teeth cleaning. If I am ever allowed daily in-room visits again, I will do it myself, like I did before lockout. It should be a basic element of every care plan & CQC should be ensuring compliance. Any mouth problems could easily trigger a downward spiral.

I agree, even if a PWD is difficult opportunities do present to resolve some of their oral care and to me the basics matter the most...even if care has to be staggered and opportunities taken then thats what should happen

I think the last twelve months have taken its toll on social care, so many carers have left and so many new carers have no idea what it is they should be doing.......a clear lack of any responsibility by employers to train up staff other than filling staffing gaps....and the next agency nurse that answers the phone to me and confuses mum with someone else I will scream so loud the rest of TP will hear it

 

[Lone Wolf]

It is one of my biggest worries. If a daily routine is established & followed, PWD is more likely to be compliant.

 

[jennifer1967]

can i just say also not cleaning glasses so they can look out of them.

 

[Lone Wolf]

I agree, even if a PWD is difficult opportunities do present to resolve some of their oral care and to me the basics matter the most...even if care has to be staggered and opportunities taken then thats what should happen

I think the last twelve months have taken its toll on social care, so many carers have left and so many new carers have no idea what it is they should be doing.......a clear lack of any responsibility by employers to train up staff other than filling staffing gaps....and the next agency nurse that answers the phone to me and confuses mum with someone else I will scream so loud the rest of TP will hear it

Yes @Palerider, we all know that structural reform is beyond overdue, but even more vital is improving staffing levels & proficiency in day to day care. Person centered care is a good concept but the reality could not be more different.

 

[Palerider]

can i just say also not cleaning glasses so they can look out of them.

Indeed you have a valid point there as well...I had to remove mums specs and wash then and dry then for her as she couldn't see out of them because the carer had just plonked them on her filthy.

Again this is basic care its not advanced stuff....somehow we seem to have arrived in mums care home at a level of care I would not accpet as a manger in my day as a manger of a unit and will not accept now....and I mean very basic care

 

[Palerider]

Anyway in the first instance I will be writing to the care home manager. After twelve months of lockdown the care home is not where it was in many ways having inspected mums room finally also her bed, and other items. To me the lack of visiting has seen a demise in a standard acceptable

 

[Lone Wolf]

can i just say also not cleaning glasses so they can look out of them.

These are the care jobs that family visitors would do, and one of the many reasons why the visitor lockout is so diabolical. When your PWD goes into care you are in so many cases an integral part of the care team.

 

[jennifer1967]

Indeed you have a valid point there as well...I had to remove mums specs and wash then and dry then for her as she couldn't see out of them because the carer had just plonked them on her filthy.

Again this is basic care its not advanced stuff....somehow we seem to have arrived in mums care home at a level of care I would not accpet as a manger in my day as a manger of a unit and will not accept now....and I mean very basic care

i used to work in a care home and we were really told off if we didnt get the basics right, teeth, glasses, hair tidy, clothes clean and if they drop food down them while eating dinner,. that came off and fresh was put on. it might take a few attempts but it was done.