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sicut animam suam : 'it's just life'

Spamar

Registered User
Oct 5, 2013
7,584
0
Suffolk
I was surprised at how heavy OHs ashes were, and he wasn’t a big man, had also lost a lot of weight in the months before he died.........
My condolences, Simon.
 

Lynmax

Registered User
Nov 1, 2016
752
0
It’s looks very peaceful and the weather was lovely, blue skies and sunshine rather than dreary rain.

Now it’s time for you to focus on yourself and get some rest.
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
2,814
0
I'm glad you had a lovely day weather wise to lay your sister's ashes to rest. I hope you are feeling OK today, thinking of you @Palerider.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,447
0
North West
A week has passed and I feel as if I have moved on finally. Been busy at work with long hours all week and now have three days off. Some quarters are moaning at the 1% pay rise, but really there's no need, I wasn't expecting anything much, but then that's what we are here for and true the NHS has worked hard, but only becaus of all the cut backs over the years and the concept of more for less -perhaps the media might like to give that some attention. Personally I am not too bothered because by the time my tax (ahem more), NI and pension are deducted I'd barely notice it even if was 2%. I am sure there are many different opinions about it, but to us long termers the last year has been about taking the rough with the smooth and being professional and not pay -I don't want the media coverage to tar us all with the same brush. Yes a pay rise would be nice, but we are where we are! I would rather the government broach reform of social care personally, to me that is a bigger issue.

Anyway, the BIL has forgotten where my sisters plot is and called me after five long days of work and while I'm out shopping expecting me to just drop everything. Despite my saying the measurements are on the card and take a tape measure with him, he didn't :rolleyes:. So now I am meeting him tomorrow to show him how to find it.

I've had a very waffly letter from the care home management that failed to address visiting after March 8th, and I am still pondering what the letter was actually about -I am confused.com. However am I pleased that mum has not developed covid symptoms and at this stage she is unlikely to (around 12 days is the marker). I am desperate to see her and spend some time with her and get back to normal -as much as normal can be now.

Its Saturday, I am tired and I have steak and fries for T and hopefully something on TV -if I stay awake long enough
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,487
0
South East
Tea sounds lovely , hope you enjoyed it . Really will your Bil ever get his act together and organise himself ?! Take care of yourself . Hope you get to see your lovely Mum before long 🤞 so good to hear she isn’t showing any symptoms .
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,905
0
Bedford
Glad your Mum has not developed any symptoms. I really hope the waffly letter turns into something coherent in the very near future so you can get to visit your Mum.
I was advised by Mum’s CH that they are still reviewing the full guidelines ‘as they had just been published’ but no time scale on the completion but really feel for you as I have been having reasonable visits with my Mum.
Hope you get to do something nice on your days off.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,447
0
North West
Thanks everyone,

The last few months have been harder, knowing my mum is geting worse. I haven't posted much on here either about what it is I am doing to correct this absurd and dogmatic imbalance in care homes. The reality is that while I have not being posting on here I have been elsewhere and I can assure my TP friends I have stirred things up (on a care home managers forum) to the point where I have had direct conversation with the CEO of the AS, Johns Campaign and Rights for Residents of which I am proud members of all, but each of these have slight differences in the future of social care for pwd. We are only just at the beginning of flagging the need for big change in dementia care and more than ever pwd and future pwd need us to make the world a better place -so please whatever your belief stand up for this -pwd need you to be their voice for the future as well as now.
 

Jaded'n'faded

Registered User
Jan 23, 2019
1,360
0
High Peak
It's great that your mum is so resilient - long may it continue!

We're always hearing how you're most likely to die from covid if you're very old (and have various co-morbidities) but there's obviously more to it than that. If only we knew your mum's secret!
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,447
0
North West
It's great that your mum is so resilient - long may it continue!

We're always hearing how you're most likely to die from covid if you're very old (and have various co-morbidities) but there's obviously more to it than that. If only we knew your mum's secret!

Mums a tough nut -she is an amazing lady and will keeping going even if she feels slightly off. Luckily mum has got away with full blown covid and I am grateful. Last I heard on the ground is up to twelve days is the time period for developing serious complications from infection.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,447
0
North West
Well its a year ago this week I stopped viiting mum in her care home, before blanket bans were introduced because I didn't want to risk infecting her or the home as we didn't know much and had little to fight the SARS-CoV-2 virus with at that stage. We are a year on now and things have changed rapidly in the last 6 months with recognition of mistakes that were made at the beginning of the pandemic.

Last week I received a poorly written letter that was obscure and didn't address the guidance we now have or what the CH was doing to adhere to it. Mum's care home are not yet following the essential visitor guidance and to be honest I am loosing the will to fight this now as whichever way the campaign groups turn we come back to the same outlook -no visiting. I can bring myself to understand in many repsects this outlook by care providers, but I would just like, just for once someone from the care home head office or the CH manager of the home to contact me and update me on their actual plans as matters stand. This has become the biggest issue for me -lack of effective communication. So again as before I have to contact 'them' to find out what is actually happening, rather than what would be a welcome proactive effort by the care provider.

Despite all of the above mum is ok and well cared for as much as she can be in the circumstances, but she is missing a vital link, and I think after a year that fundamentally has to be addressed
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,905
0
Bedford
I had exactly the same conversation with Mum’s Care Home Manager - poor communication. That just adds to the frustration.
I am glad that your Mum is OK and well cared for based on the circumstances
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,447
0
North West
Well I am glad I got to the shops early today as I got the right flowers for mum, rather than the left overs. Our local sold out pretty quickly on the flowers front, and they had a fair amount of stock at 9am.

I guess a large part of my drive for mother's day is the guilt I still carry around the care home thing as well as missing a true light in my life, my mum. Anyway I have perhaps gone over and beyond the usual Mother's Day goodies, but I know she will in her own way enjoy them including the wee bottle of rose wine ;).

On another matter I can't find the energy to sort out the house and feel trapped and overwhelmed by all the boxes and junk from when I moved, so today I have been looking for a 'house tidier' -simply because it would just be easier mentally for me to get someone in to sort out this mess, which currently is taking over my living space and I can't cope with it anymore. I can barely swing a cat round in the front room with all the stuff still unpacked :rolleyes:
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
10,088
0
Yorkshire
hi @Palerider
do you have a spare room?
when I last moved, and after clearing dad's house, I put all the boxes and stuff I couldn't face unpacking into the spare room ... that way I had all the boxes etc in one place but could sort out my living room and feel comfortable .. the spare room was a mess for a long time (okay, still is) but at least I can close the door on it and deal with everything bit by bit when I feel like it
not possible if you don't have the extra room ... or shed ... or attic space