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sicut animam suam : 'it's just life'

Fitzalan

Registered User
Apr 25, 2020
27
0
I always fancied a horse drawn hearse with a mute walking in front, like Oliver Twist (though you probably wouldn't have a child doing the job these days), and a New Orleans type jazz band following on behind doing the sombre stuff before the committal, and the happy jazzy stuff afterwards. Perhaps I ought to get planning! I'm fairly sure I want a green burial anyway, though I have no idea how much those cost.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,441
0
North West
I always fancied a horse drawn hearse with a mute walking in front, like Oliver Twist (though you probably wouldn't have a child doing the job these days), and a New Orleans type jazz band following on behind doing the sombre stuff before the committal, and the happy jazzy stuff afterwards. Perhaps I ought to get planning! I'm fairly sure I want a green burial anyway, though I have no idea how much those cost.

My Uncle Frank was a big jazz fan and had a jazz band at his funeral -it made people smile. They played pretty much throughout
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
2,796
0
My dad organised his own funeral with his hearse on his canal boat to the crem. He even organised inland waterways hacking a path from the canal towpath. I wish I’d got a jazz band together for him though, he’d have loved that!
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,441
0
North West
Well it never rains but it pours! Mum has covid, I was informed yesterday. How this happened is fairly obvious as there is absolutely no visiting allowed. I am off to work and a good job too as I won't be able to throw things at my TV as Helen Whately is appearing on Breakfast over visiting. Angry -yes:mad: -actually fuming. I don't suppose that means I can visit now??
 

Starting on a journey

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
589
0
I am sorry to hear this and wish your mum and any other residents a speedy recovery. I wonder if all their staff took the opportunity to be vaccinated?
Try and have a good day at work if you can. At least you have a really positive impact there. Take care of yourself as if you were your own patient.
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
2,796
0
So sorry to hear that news @Palerider. I hope your mother gets better very soon. Do take care of you, specially having that drive to and from work.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
14,918
0
South coast
Im sorry to hear about your mum. I hope she recovers soon

It may not have come from a staff member - it may have come from another resident who has been in hospital.
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
907
0
Hi @Palerider, I can totally understand your ire - how absolutely infuriating. The absolute hypocrisy of the whole visiting restrictions on those in residential care beggars belief. I just hope you can get to see Mum, I really do. Wishing you all the best.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
3,150
0
Southampton
it was all over the front cover of the daily mirror yesterday with 3 families interviewed with before and after pictures. also reported what Rights for Residents person said, Diane i think
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
794
0
Sorry to hear @Palerider that your mum has tested positive. I do hope that she only gets a mild dose and gets well soon. Very annoying about the visiting restrictions, particularly as PHE advises no visits for 28 days after an "outbreak", not even pod/ closed window visit which seems very OTT.
It's worrying to think that these outbreaks will go on and on, as although staff may have had the vaccine, they can still get covid (though more likely mildly) , so trigger another outbreak. With scientists and government saying covid will be around for years, then different staff could trigger these outbreaks and lockdowns over the years.
I feel Government must give thought to this when writing guidance, and look at the minimal risk to serious illness once residents vaccinated and allow indoor visits to continue, rather than put in restrictions and risk greater decline from isolation to mental health. They need to use some common sense. Sadly residents will die with heart attacks, strokes, falls, fraility etc and covid too , but that shouldn't affect the visiting policies. We need to get back to "normal" visiting asap, and certainly if life gets back to more " normality" for everyone else. Their home must not be a prison.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,441
0
North West
Thanks everyone

I really think when someone is at the end of their dementia journey things need to be balanced more. Yes a right to life is an absolute right, but a right to dignitiy, humane treatment and family life have to be balanced out in the decision making. What is the point of being OTT with my mum who is clearly ill with a life limiting disease, which clearly is now bringing her life rather rapidly to a close and which is untreatable/incurable.

The situation in the care home is that they are not accepting hospital discharges. The home holds 105 residents, broken down into seperate units. Mums is on one of the EMI units and it has 18 residents. Mums unit had been covid free, which of course is a relief. However the CH are short staffed and struggle to cover shifts. To cut a long story short, a nurse who was on the unit with covids a week later was then working on mums unit and now not surprisingly covid is on mums unit. I'm not angry at the fact mum has covid, there is always a risk it may happen especially in care (though I am worried), I am angry at how this has all been very quitely brushed under the carpet. I know this happened because I actually spoke to this nurse as I was put through to the wrong unit when I called to see how mum was, and he told me he could not leave the unit to go to mums unit to hand over the mobile phone (which they sometimes do). A week later I called mums unit and he answered the phone -thats interesting I thought, but I didn't let him know I'd clocked it.

Anyway I have been bullish and demanded a facetime, which will take place later today so I can see how mum is for myself -they have obliged rather more than usual.