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sicut animam suam : 'it's just life'

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,437
0
North West
I was just thinking to myself how much that last post sounded, but mum was just like my gran, their last few savings were for their funeral. My mum was always clear her last few were for her funeral. The issue now is after the house is sold she has more than enough for her funeral plus the policy. I'm just thi ning horses all the way from the funeral directors to the crem....it means going thorugh warrington...but mums dad was a proud lancastrian and Warringtonian ??? any ideas??
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,437
0
North West
I know I am on death and funerals ot of late -but lets face it, someone has to sort it all out so sorry if its seems gloomy but for me it means a big worry resolved. I am also pleased to say the BIL has now taken out a funeral plan -thank God.

His claim for funeral expeneses was denied by the DWP, so now I have to pay the remaining half -just to say anyone out there please take out a funeral plan, as much as I loved my sister her funeral has just absorbed my savings that I had. Total cost £4,600 I reckon alot of siblings or family don't have that kind of money to hand -so please guys sort your affairs before you die
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
2,465
0
I know I am on death and funerals ot of late -but lets face it, someone has to sort it all out so sorry if its seems gloomy but for me it means a big worry resolved. I am also pleased to say the BIL has now taken out a funeral plan -thank God.

His claim for funeral expeneses was denied by the DWP, so now I have to pay the remaining half -just to say anyone out there please take out a funeral plan, as much as I loved my sister her funeral has just absorbed my savings that I had. Total cost £4,600 I reckon alot of siblings or family don't have that kind of money to hand -so please guys sort your affairs before you die
Both my parents had funeral plans and when I looked at what they paid then and what it would have cost now it is a very good idea. I have been looking at them for myself and I am thinking of taking one out very soon, you can do it online now so it is easy.

I don't know about the horses but I have seen them used here on a number of occasions. We have a few travellers sites in our area and they usually use them. I would think any good funeral home would know what to do but I imagine that it is more expensive than the average hearse.
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
2,465
0
I found planning dads funeral was very therapeutical. I spent a lot of time choosing his outfit and photo's and it took me a while to choose the music. I had thought about the music before but changed it completely after he died. He had a very personal and I think I would call it a good funeral. It was sad but it was a celebration of his life and I think he would have been pleased.

A lot of wine was consumed which dad paid for, he wouldn't have had it any other way.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,437
0
North West
Both my parents had funeral plans and when I looked at what they paid then and what it would have cost now it is a very good idea. I have been looking at them for myself and I am thinking of taking one out very soon, you can do it online now so it is easy.

I don't know about the horses but I have seen them used here on a number of occasions. We have a few travellers sites in our area and they usually use them. I would think any good funeral home would know what to do but I imagine that it is more expensive than the average hearse.
I have a great funeral plan in place and so long as you let your executor know of the details all will be ok. What I find ineteresting is the horse drawn hearse, I lived in East London for many years and a hore drawn hearse was always top class as was any horse drawn hearse in London....still seen today amazingly. Elsewhere horse drawn hearses have become forgotten, but in the day they were exclusive to the rich unless you had belongings to the rag and bone man and maybe you might get a cart via a shaggy horse and a trailor but then we are talking about days when the home parlour was the resting place for the dead, these days we are more squeamish and use a funeral director. But I remember my grandad left his parlour and not some invisible place ;)
 

Irish2021

Registered User
Feb 13, 2021
13
0
I have a great funeral plan in place and so long as you let your executor know of the details all will be ok. What I find ineteresting is the horse drawn hearse, I lived in East London for many years and a hore drawn hearse was always top class as was any horse drawn hearse in London....still seen today amazingly. Elsewhere horse drawn hearses have become forgotten, but in the day they were exclusive to the rich unless you had belongings to the rag and bone man and maybe you might get a cart via a shaggy horse and a trailor but then we are talking about days when the home parlour was the resting place for the dead, these days we are more squeamish and use a funeral director. But I remember my grandad left his parlour and not some invisible place ;)
In Ireland the deceased are still brought back home, a 'wake' it's called. All friends and neighbours come to pay their respects, tea and sandwiches provided for all, like in the film 'Steptoe and son ride again'
Sadly Covid has ended this for now.
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
2,465
0
Just googled it @Palerider and the co-op do it (price on request) The travellers funerals that I have seen have had a beautiful horse drawn carriage usually followed by a procession of trucks then a very long queue of cars.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,437
0
North West
Its funny isn't how culure around death has changed. My gran would be very different to how we are now, she would see it as something very different to how we see it, but then in her era it was something different and the dead genrally stayed at home even in the rich. Now we are renoved from death and I am not sure it is a good thing. nature cannot be hidden, no mattter how hard some may try -it is a fact of being alive.

@Irish2021 you made me laugh....of course back then there were always the local tinkers and of course they did great things with a horse and cart, I have never forgotten the rag n bone man -perhaps the last of his kin before change took hold. Now we have chairity shops and 'collections'

And then there is just that thing with horses and a hearse -formal, fitting and most of all just natural :rolleyes:

I still don't know how to arrange it?
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,437
0
North West
Right anyway the date is set 27th feb and its then time to move on. To be fair i have sorted a few family things out over the last few weeks with the cememtary as there were some items left undone, but now they are sorted so hopefully I can move on.
 

Lone Wolf

Registered User
Sep 20, 2020
126
0
In relation to visiting, the one consideration that has been missing from the outset is the question of balance. Not totally unrestricted visiting but controlled individually risk assessed visiting which balances the relevant rights and risks. Carefully vetted visitors with appropriate protocols would not pose a substantial increase in risk over and above the existing risk from care home staff coming and going every shift. The data which I have seen indicates that the main source of covid infections in care homes originates from hospitals. I have never seen any evidence of any covid infections sourced from family visiting. No other sector of society has been prevented from family contact since covid began. In my view it is absolutely diabolical and unconscionable to deny for so long the love of family to those that need it most.
 
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lollyc

Registered User
Sep 9, 2020
206
0
Its really hard but while i have been on the subject of death I have decided to pay mums funeral up front, even though she has a seperate life policy. Mum told me as well as dad what they wanted so its not difficult but there is one rare exception to the rule I have to organise a horse drawn hearse for mum from the church to the crem -it seems odd as there wont be many witnesses but this issomething that ahs to be done and I don't know how I am supposed to organise it???
I think you'll find a funeral director will be able to point you in the right direction for a horse drawn hearse - I don't think it is such an unusual request.
On the subject of prepayment funerals, I've just read an article (which I now can't find - typical!) by a financial advisor, which doesn't recommend them. I think this is more for those of who aren't planning to die imminently, because the payments can well exceed the cost of the funeral. I would be inclined to put a monthly amount into an account and forget about it - at least you can't lose it if you have to stop the payments. Ultimately I suppose it's a matter of personal preference, and may depend on what type of funeral you want. I'm hoping for a direct burial - no service etc., - just straight into the woodland burial plot in my wicket basket!
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
14,915
0
South coast
n the subject of prepayment funerals, I've just read an article (which I now can't find - typical!) by a financial advisor, which doesn't recommend them. I think this is more for those of who aren't planning to die imminently, because the payments can well exceed the cost of the funeral.
Yes this is a good point for those sort of funeral plans where you pay a monthly fee - its like insurance.
However, I was going to get mum a funeral plan where you pay a one off payment to cover the sort of funeral you want and you then dont pay any more - but she died first.
The advantage of a one off funeral plan is that it is not considered to be Deprivation of Assets if you are just above the threshold for LA funding.
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
2,465
0
Yes this is a good point for those sort of funeral plans where you pay a monthly fee - its like insurance.
However, I was going to get mum a funeral plan where you pay a one off payment to cover the sort of funeral you want and you then dont pay any more - but she died first.
The advantage of a one off funeral plan is that it is not considered to be Deprivation of Assets if you are just above the threshold for LA funding.
Yes that's what I have been looking at @canary Pay in full now and it's done. It was definitely worth it in mum and dads case.
 

Lone Wolf

Registered User
Sep 20, 2020
126
0
In relation to visiting, the one consideration that has been missing from the outset is the question of balance. Not totally unrestricted visiting but controlled individually risk assessed visiting which balances the relevant rights and risks. Carefully vetted visitors with appropriate protocols would not pose a substantial increase in risk over and above the existing risk from care home staff coming and going every shift. The data which I have seen indicates that the main source of covid infections in care homes originates from hospitals. I have never seen any evidence of any covid infections sourced from family visiting. No other sector of society has been prevented from family contact since covid began. In my view it is absolutely diabolical and unconscionable to deny for so long the love of family to those that need it most.
those that need it most.
I fully endorse what you said earlier palerider re care home visiting.
 
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jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
3,141
0
Southampton
Lucky if you get me wearing anything more upmarket than ‘ own brand ‘ shower gel in this lockdown @jennifer1967 !
dont like upmarket as its probably the same with an expensive label. id be scared to use it. and help if i smash it. my husband likes expensive aftershave which doesnt smell any different and he is more handsome than the models that advertise it
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,918
0
Yorkshire
funeral directors we just used for mum can arrange hearses that are cars, horse drawn carriages, specialist vehicles and motorbike and sidecar, which I kind of wished we’d thought of for my dad. I would imagine most funeral director can source them. X
 

Banjomansmate

Registered User
Jan 13, 2019
2,712
0
Dorset
Just tell the funeral firm what you want. If they say they cannot provide that service then find the one that does, however most firms seem to belong to some joint system or other so I imagine it shouldn’t be a problem.
The Banjoman’s ashes were buried in the Bluebell Wood of the independent woodland burial/ crematorium locally so if the weather is OK I can take the dogs for a walk around the whole site if I want to. Last year in lockdown it was the quietest place to walk as my local forest was heaving with people!