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sicut animam suam : 'it's just life'

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,127
North West
Right, I went to the care home to drop off mums new clothes and was met at the door unexpectedly by the care home administrator, who I have to say is also amazingly fab. She told me that the care home are going ahead with Christmas decs and a Christmas tree in each unit -HURRAH!!! I back this 100%

Edited: I haven't heard from the Daily Mail yet;)
 
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Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,127
North West
Ok news update...the Daily Mail is dropping tomorrows report because nationally there has now been a u-turn on no Christmas decs or tree. This is great because what I can say is from the moment I got wind of this till I met with the care home admin there had been a change of mind and a good job too because this could have been the straw that broke the camels back and yes I would have thrown my toys out of the pram walked in and brought mum home and be entirely at the risk of the care home managers discression - would I have cared -**** no!. There comes a point when those set over us need to be challenged yes I already have, but such a simple thing as a Christmas tree...meh the authorities can kiss my ass
 

Dimpsy

Registered User
Sep 2, 2019
1,588
Fan bl **** tastic , I can't find the Christmas tree emoji;here's a fir🌲to support, xx
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,706
Bedford
What a lovely photo of your Mum with Christmas tree. So glad that Christmas is not going to be cancelled in Care Homes. I saw some discussions about it earlier and could not believe what I was reading.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,127
North West
I can't speak for eveyone in their experience of demenia with their parents, some friends on TP have bad relationships as well of those of us who have good.

For me this poem says everything in where I am at in my own journey:

Do Not Ask Me to Remember

Do not ask me to remember,
Don’t try to make me understand,
Let me rest and know you’re with me,
Kiss my cheek and hold my hand...

...Just remember that I need you,
That the best of me is gone,
Please don’t fail to stand beside me,
Love me ’til my life is done.

– Owen Darnell

Link to full poem: https://www.alzheimers.net/do-not-ask-me-to-remember-poem
 
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Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,975
South East
That is extremely powerful and very thought provoking thanks @Palerider , it has helped refocus my mind . Great news about Grinch being kicked in to touch . Another lovely photo of your beautiful Mum 💖 .
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,127
North West
Thanks @Dimpsy @Bikerbeth @Lone Wolf and @Woo2

The photo of mum was of her last Christmas at home in 2018. I had put all the Christmas stuff in the lounge and when I got home from work mum had put up her Christmas tree -I was surprised but she did it. The lights are battery operated which made it easier and safer and if you look you'll see three robins -mums fave bird.

Yesterday changed rapidly when I was told Christmas was being cancelled by the grinch. I haven't seen mum properly in the last 9 months other than one window visit and urgent call because she seemd as if she was end of life and 20 min visit before second lockdown -more than some but its not enough. When someone approaches this stage of their life there is very little left other than make the most of the time that is left. For mum a Christmas tree would make a huge difference and give her back familiar feelings that Christmas brings.

The poem speaks for itself
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,127
North West
Well after a draining night last night with no distraction I managed to get to sleep at 3pm after constantly thinking about no visiting at mums care home and my poor mum. Its going to be a long weekend -I feel it my bones!
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,127
North West
Today the purchasers surveyer went to the property and almost at the same time I had an email from the solicitors asking me various questions that I cannot answer -luckily I have found a legal valuation from 2005 where there is a surveyer report but have to now apply for a copy of certifcate of completion on buidling work they had done (knocking the kitchen into the utility space). I have emailed back stating that they will have to make this application if they deem it nececssary, however based on the valuation report I have from 2005 there have been no changes.

It makes this whole journey so much harder when I have to keep on raking up the past which in turn jolts other more poigniant memories into play plus the ongoing stress of protecting mums interests in this.

I feel as if I am being punished continually at the moment whichever way I turn.
 

nitram

Registered User
Apr 6, 2011
21,265
North Manchester
There may not be a completion certificate, this was the state in 2012 which is after the work was done, I don't think the situation has changed since then.

'At present completion certificates are only required to be issued where the building is in scope of the Regulatory Reform (Fire Safety) Order 2005 (ie non-domestic buildings and blocks of flats) or, in respect of work on houses, where the applicant has requested a completion certificate at the time of submitting full plans. Where work is carried out on a house under a building notice or where a certificate was not requested at the time of submission of full plans there is no requirement for the local authority to issue a completion certificate.'
https://assets.publishing.service.g...uploads/attachment_data/file/8379/2076689.pdf .


It's likely that knocking a wall down was done under a building notice without full plans, the BCO would just inspect before the structural work was obscured, a search on building control on the LA site should show if full plans were submitted.
An indemnity insurance for this level of work is common.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,127
North West
There may not be a completion certificate, this was the state in 2012 which is after the work was done, I don't think the situation has changed since then.

'At present completion certificates are only required to be issued where the building is in scope of the Regulatory Reform (Fire Safety) Order 2005 (ie non-domestic buildings and blocks of flats) or, in respect of work on houses, where the applicant has requested a completion certificate at the time of submitting full plans. Where work is carried out on a house under a building notice or where a certificate was not requested at the time of submission of full plans there is no requirement for the local authority to issue a completion certificate.'
https://assets.publishing.service.g...uploads/attachment_data/file/8379/2076689.pdf .


It's likely that knocking a wall down was done under a building notice without full plans, the BCO would just inspect before the structural work was obscured, a search on building control on the LA site should show if full plans were submitted.
An indemnity insurance for this level of work is common.
Thanks @nitram that is actually most useful because the building work was done around 1997 and by a very reputable building firm as I remember. I have already indicated that the work was done much earlier than the purchasers solicitor seems to appreciate.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,127
North West
If it was not a supporting wall building control would only be interested if any window was also bricked up.
I have advised that a certificate should be searched for in any event as I have no prior knowledge and the sale is on the basis of partial liability which my solicitor has made clear.

Equally I can withdraw from the offer and place the house back on the market for its true value and sit and wait for the right approach to this -it would be damning for the couple who desperately want to purchase but their interests are not my aim.
 

nitram

Registered User
Apr 6, 2011
21,265
North Manchester
In 1983 and 1985 I did substantial DIY building work on my house all with full plans and Inspection, the LA at that time did not issue completion certificates.

When the house has to be sold, most likely after my death, a solicitor is likely to ask for the certificates , my three children will be handling the sale, one of them is a retired chartered accountant and one is a chartered surveyor.
I expect the answer to many queries will be 'unknown', I doubt if any copies of the drawings in my possession will be handed over, they can be inspected at the LA, plans of that age are not scanned and on the web site.
No point in giving an argumentative buyer the chance to apply current regulations.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,127
North West
In 1983 and 1985 I did substantial DIY building work on my house all with full plans and Inspection, the LA at that time did not issue completion certificates.

When the house has to be sold, most likely after my death, a solicitor is likely to ask for the certificates , my three children will be handling the sale, one of them is a retired chartered accountant and one is a chartered surveyor.
I expect the answer to many queries will be 'unknown', I doubt if any copies of the drawings in my possession will be handed over, they can be inspected at the LA, plans of that age are not scanned and on the web site.
No point in giving an argumentative buyer the chance to apply current regulations.
I agree...theywill have to sort and come to a decision not withstanding considerable evidence that the build alone has come cheap to them in a significant part of Cheshire
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,127
North West
Right I have just emailed my solicitor and essentially relayed more or less my thoughts on the matter, however given I have accpeted a few thousand below the current asking price and also given I am prepared to withdraw and wait till spring to sell for considerably more there will be no movement on the current offer price which is considerably below the properties worth and further as LPA I have to be able to demonstrate I have done my utmost in terms of the donor and what her estate is worth in true value in terms of protecting her best interests. I am sure no doubt this couple are keen to move in but their solicitors are currently doing them no favours
 

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