I'm really sorry my first post is so long but I just needed to see if anyone else has had such awful treatment by siblings.
My husband and I have been doing the majority of care for my mother in law. Lots of practical jobs and social outings.
I take her to Alzheimer's drop in cafe on a Monday. We discussed a few things with one of the members of staff about different things and eventually they told us about the attendance allowance.
My husband told his siblings about this and they were not happy as they felt she has plenty of money to care for herself and refused to agree to apply for this. We left it at that. A few months later we were at a meeting with the nurse discussing needs and the nurse said so you'll have the attendance allowance and of course we said no. She said my mother in law could have applied for this soon after her diagnosis.
We thought then this was then HER RIGHT to have this no matter what we all felt. We explained what it was to her and she said she would like us to apply. We did but without the approval of siblings. They were furious and extremely unkind to my husband.
My mother in law was awarded the higher rate which we were surprised about.
My husbands siblings saw the form that was filled in with the help of Alzheimer's Scotland and they accused my husband of fraudulence and got advice from a solicitor to say he needed to step down as power of attorney or they would take it further. We are devastated at the accusations and has made us both ill. My husband stood down as PofA.
Everything we do is for making sure mum is safe, fed and loved.
My husband and I have been doing the majority of care for my mother in law. Lots of practical jobs and social outings.
I take her to Alzheimer's drop in cafe on a Monday. We discussed a few things with one of the members of staff about different things and eventually they told us about the attendance allowance.
My husband told his siblings about this and they were not happy as they felt she has plenty of money to care for herself and refused to agree to apply for this. We left it at that. A few months later we were at a meeting with the nurse discussing needs and the nurse said so you'll have the attendance allowance and of course we said no. She said my mother in law could have applied for this soon after her diagnosis.
We thought then this was then HER RIGHT to have this no matter what we all felt. We explained what it was to her and she said she would like us to apply. We did but without the approval of siblings. They were furious and extremely unkind to my husband.
My mother in law was awarded the higher rate which we were surprised about.
My husbands siblings saw the form that was filled in with the help of Alzheimer's Scotland and they accused my husband of fraudulence and got advice from a solicitor to say he needed to step down as power of attorney or they would take it further. We are devastated at the accusations and has made us both ill. My husband stood down as PofA.
Everything we do is for making sure mum is safe, fed and loved.