1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. Shiela

    Shiela Registered User

    Mar 26, 2015
    20
    I am having problems, my husband is refusing to get in the shower, I help him to wash but it's not the same as showering, has anyone any tips or advice please. His incontinence is getting much worse which makes kit more important to shower regularly.
     
  2. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,600
    Female
    Scotland
    Upside down world of dementia

    Sheila this must be horrible for you. I wish I could advise you but I have the opposite problem in that my husband stands in the shower for about half an hour and shaves and brushes his teeth in there too. I daren't suggest he washes his face before we go out or before I know it he is back in the shower!

    Through the looking glass hasn't a look in here.
     
  3. Shiela

    Shiela Registered User

    Mar 26, 2015
    20
    thank you for your response I imagine you are as frustrated as I am
     
  4. jeany123

    jeany123 Registered User

    Mar 24, 2012
    19,049
    Durham
  5. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    15,990
    Toronto, Canada
    Quite often it's the water in the face that upsets people. Would your husband consider taking a bath? I used to offer my mother a choice between a bath or shower when she was in her non-bathing stage and sometimes having a choice helps. Sometimes.
     
  6. Shiela

    Shiela Registered User

    Mar 26, 2015
    20
    thank you all for your replies I have read the fact sheet which has given me some tips to try and hopefully reach some sort of agreement.
     
  7. Mossyanne1

    Mossyanne1 Registered User

    Feb 10, 2015
    45
    Hello Sheila, I am so sorry to hear you are having such a bad time. My problems are trying to get my OH to have a bath, Sunday evening was a definate trial, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, it was like trying to bath an obstinate 3 year old. I was totally exhausted by the time it was over. I use any which way to cajole him to do things. After it was over I went downstairs, had a large whiskey and watched Poldark. Oh Joy!!! It would have made a brilliant TV sketch.


    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
     
  8. pamann

    pamann Registered User

    Oct 28, 2013
    2,635
    Kent
    Hello sheila my problem was my hubby was showering and shaving every hour through the night, he had forgotten that he had just showered. So Dr. Gave him sleeping pills so he now sleeps 10hrs without waking, now he will not get in the shower, so l have the same problems as you, l just help him to have a strip wash, l am pleased we both now sleep all night.
     
  9. Feline

    Feline Registered User

    Oct 25, 2012
    164
    East Devon
    Hi Shiela,
    I have to ' seize the moment ' to shower my husband, if he seems responsive and happy then I try a shower or hair wash. Sometimes it works better than other times.
     

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