Showering - any tips takes about 4-5 days to get hubby to shower any tips?
- Thread starter AngelinaBallerina
- Start date
Hello @AngelinaBallerina and welcome to Dementia Talking Point. You'll find a lot of advice and support here.
About showering - I used to offer my mother a choice of a bath or a shower. This at least gave her the option of choice. I don't know if your OH would take a bath, men often prefer showers. Can you say you are going somewhere special so a shower is in order? Then go for a coffee, perhaps. Anything to keep up the illusion.
About showering - I used to offer my mother a choice of a bath or a shower. This at least gave her the option of choice. I don't know if your OH would take a bath, men often prefer showers. Can you say you are going somewhere special so a shower is in order? Then go for a coffee, perhaps. Anything to keep up the illusion.
We went through a few weeks when he wouldn’t have a shower, we kinda managed with wet wipes and he didn’t smell bad as far as I could tell. He did get cradle cap tho and moaned like mad about me removing it with olive oil and a nit comb. Then he suddenly decided to start showering again, thank goodness! I had the same problem with a 3 year old many years ago ???
4-5 days?! I am lucky if I can get my husband to bath every 4-5 weeks! And he is someone who years ago would bath daily.
Could it be that he is nervous? I watched my husband attempting to shower and realised he was struggling with the complexity of it probably too much information but initially we showered together, we have a large area. We did this until the OT came out and recommended a shower chair and a half step to help him get into the cubicle. I’d put towels on the floor in case of spillage and would assist with the shower head where needed. He would wash himself. This also worked..
Hi Quite contrary.....Oh my goodness and I don't mean it rudely but am relieved to know that I'm not the only one having this problem but I've been too embarrassed to tell anyone or admit it even on here stupidly as I know no one judges but still...
My husband is still young on ly 64 so still quite strong g and gets aggressive so must admit I just let it go because we all have to chose our battles right? .....Have been worried this constitutes neglect but what can you do.....
im lucky that i shower my husband every day. sometimes he can be reluctant and ive just said that it stops the nagging wife nagging. tends to work at the moment. before, he was having strip washes at the sink. maybe he would be alright with that as thats what it used to be. they can be clean just with a wash.
Hi @jennifer1967
My husband is more than reluctant and flatly refuses and gets really verbally aggressive if I try to nag him about it and says he's not a child but he is still in complete denial after 8 months.... there is a history of abuse ( not me i hasten to add) in our home so I must admit I back off for safety reasons .....But bizarrely enough he shaves every couple of days......where is the logic I ask myself ? But of course as we all know all too well there is no logic in a dementia brain? but will persevere when I believe it's safe to do so .....but what an excellent idea . sapphire turner wet wipes thank you very much to you both
Hi @AngelinaBallerina @Dawnee
Dad was happy to have a 'good wash' as that is what he did when young, with a bath a week in the 'good old days' ... so a wash at the basin with nice soap (or liquid body wash) and using flannels or sponges (more eco than wet wipes, and I think more comfortable and easier to use)
Dad was happy to have a 'good wash' as that is what he did when young, with a bath a week in the 'good old days' ... so a wash at the basin with nice soap (or liquid body wash) and using flannels or sponges (more eco than wet wipes, and I think more comfortable and easier to use)
I have trouble getting my husband into the shower he says washing at the sink but doesn’t know to use soap I pick my battles getting him into the shower I put the shower gel on a sponge and get him to wash his body it is a nightmare because his hearing is so bad I’m shouting prompting him what to do as for shaving he tries but isn’t sucessful I got and electric shaver but still not great it ends up that I end up trying to shave him my hands are bad and deformed with arthritis so i find this very difficult
could you put some liquid soap in the water for washing. then he doesnt have to worry about soap. he then can have a wash in the sink with soap already in there.
Yes I will give this a try he doesn’t like me in the bathroom with him as he doesn’t recognise me as his wife but I will try anything thank you
Quite frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn! No that's not quite true but hey-ho ... I have more important battles to gently and creepily wend my spooky way around. 
Now, when we were kids (OK - here comes the tatty overused and rather tired old story) we didn't have the luxury of a bathroom, let alone a bathtub, shower, or hot water on tap. The odd sluice down with a shared damp rag sufficed. Maybe. Or a kettle of water if one could get the luxury of the scullery to oneself for ten minutes. And don't get me going on about the tin bath in front of the coal fire - assuming coal could be afforded.
So - I'm a bit perplexed about the fixation of all these bath or shower routines. Even the messy old pull-ups and pads are an improvement on bits of cut-up flannel sheeting so I tend to go with the mood of the day and either make a party-party of showering (together) or just flick the flannel where it's going to do the best job.
I do hope my rather easy-peasy attitude towards smelly bits and bobs does not offend or hurt anyone. It's not meant to and I wouldn't wish it to. But I've found *not* getting uptight about it makes it all the more delicious when we leave the sweet and steamy bathroom with shiny bods and bots, glossy hair, and freshly laundered wrinkles.
Now, when we were kids (OK - here comes the tatty overused and rather tired old story) we didn't have the luxury of a bathroom, let alone a bathtub, shower, or hot water on tap. The odd sluice down with a shared damp rag sufficed. Maybe. Or a kettle of water if one could get the luxury of the scullery to oneself for ten minutes. And don't get me going on about the tin bath in front of the coal fire - assuming coal could be afforded.
So - I'm a bit perplexed about the fixation of all these bath or shower routines. Even the messy old pull-ups and pads are an improvement on bits of cut-up flannel sheeting so I tend to go with the mood of the day and either make a party-party of showering (together) or just flick the flannel where it's going to do the best job.
I do hope my rather easy-peasy attitude towards smelly bits and bobs does not offend or hurt anyone. It's not meant to and I wouldn't wish it to. But I've found *not* getting uptight about it makes it all the more delicious when we leave the sweet and steamy bathroom with shiny bods and bots, glossy hair, and freshly laundered wrinkles.
