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shower help!


New member
May 29, 2018
My mother who is in the mid-stages of Alzheimer's is really resisting any encouragement to shower. She (and my father) have a live in carer but the carer can't get her to shower nor can anyone else. any suggestions? thank you in advance


Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
N Ireland
This is a common enough issue and I've seen tips like pre heating the room, using body washes etc.

Sometimes the rush of water scares the person.

I know that my wife used to like very hot showers so I encourage her by saying I'm about to shower but would she like to go first before I use all the hot water - usually works.

I'm sure others will give tips and in the meantime you may get some ideas from the Society Factsheet that can be read by clicking the 2nd line of the following link
Washing and bathing (504)
PDF printable version


Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
Hi @Natwillow
Maybe back away from showering for a while so your mother has nothing to build up resistance to, and you and the carers relax a little
Try an all over flannel wash instead, in a comfortable warm room, her bedroom so she can sit on her bed, possibly covering her with a towel or warm dressing gown so she's not sitting fully naked... even do a different body area each day rather than the whole body everyday
make sure the flannels and towels are comfortable on her skin and maybe use perfume free shower gel rather than soap, for my dad I used baby products
I also went slowly and talked him through what I was going to do so nothing was a shock... I also spoke soothingly to him all the time
Maybe play some quiet music and use a lavender spray... anything to help your mother be calm and settled so more likely to accept the situation