I wonder if anyone could give me some advice.
My Dad is in a nursing home and has vascular dementia. He's in an EMI unit and has been for just over 2 years now. Since he's been at the home he's had some mini strokes which we have accepted and coped with. One of them has limited the use of his right hand and arm. This was his prominent hand and he's had to get used to using his left. He's done really well, and uses his left well.
His right hand has turned into a bit of a claw which he has a lot of difficulty opening. We try encourage some excercise with it, but to no avail.
Mum and I visisted on Tuesday and his right hand looked swollen and bruised (had a green tinge to it). We couldn't get Dad to open his hand so I had to get a mirror to look underneath as his fingers to see if they were ok.
I was shocked to find that Dad's middle finger was completely black/dark red and very swollen. To the point where his skin was tight and shiny.
Dad seemed embarrassed, but I finally encouraged him to open his hand. I was so upset with what I saw.
It was like he had caught it somewhere. I know that Dad can be agreesive and lash out, but this seemed more than that and it was isolated to this middle finger.
Mum went to question the sister on charge who said that it was noticed in the morning, but they did not catch it in time to put an ice pack on it. They'd offered Dad an aspirin to help with the pain, but he had refused and passed her off with the fact that Dad is 'always thrashing around'.
When Mum asked if he'd caught it somewhere, they immediately went on the defensive. Mum wasn't saying that they had caught it, but they seemed a bit to defensive and immediately said that there was no way this could of happened (even though they have no idea how he did it!!!!).
Mum spoke to the ward manager today and again was waved off as being an overprotective wife.
They don't seem to realise (no matter who much we tell them), that we are in no way questioning there care, but we do have a vested interest in our dad/husband and have a right to ask when he's had an injury.
I wouldn't think they are treating him badly, but we don't feel we can say anything to the owner as they may take it out on Dad. We could not of course prove this, but Dad cannot speak anymore so he would be able to tell us anyway.
Also, on a side point, while we were there we were talking to one of the nursing staff and discussing light heartedly about a conversation between Dad and one of the other patients (they had had an arguement). Dad kept pressing mum's leg with his as if to ask her to be quiet. Which I find worrying. Dad can understand and can decifer what he wants with yes and no. It was like he didn't want us discussing anything with the staff....as if he would pay for it later.
I know I'm probably over reacting, but I worry so much. Can anyone help with this. Tell me I'm being silly and re assure me - please.
thanks for reading
Karen
My Dad is in a nursing home and has vascular dementia. He's in an EMI unit and has been for just over 2 years now. Since he's been at the home he's had some mini strokes which we have accepted and coped with. One of them has limited the use of his right hand and arm. This was his prominent hand and he's had to get used to using his left. He's done really well, and uses his left well.
His right hand has turned into a bit of a claw which he has a lot of difficulty opening. We try encourage some excercise with it, but to no avail.
Mum and I visisted on Tuesday and his right hand looked swollen and bruised (had a green tinge to it). We couldn't get Dad to open his hand so I had to get a mirror to look underneath as his fingers to see if they were ok.
I was shocked to find that Dad's middle finger was completely black/dark red and very swollen. To the point where his skin was tight and shiny.
Dad seemed embarrassed, but I finally encouraged him to open his hand. I was so upset with what I saw.
It was like he had caught it somewhere. I know that Dad can be agreesive and lash out, but this seemed more than that and it was isolated to this middle finger.
Mum went to question the sister on charge who said that it was noticed in the morning, but they did not catch it in time to put an ice pack on it. They'd offered Dad an aspirin to help with the pain, but he had refused and passed her off with the fact that Dad is 'always thrashing around'.
When Mum asked if he'd caught it somewhere, they immediately went on the defensive. Mum wasn't saying that they had caught it, but they seemed a bit to defensive and immediately said that there was no way this could of happened (even though they have no idea how he did it!!!!).
Mum spoke to the ward manager today and again was waved off as being an overprotective wife.
They don't seem to realise (no matter who much we tell them), that we are in no way questioning there care, but we do have a vested interest in our dad/husband and have a right to ask when he's had an injury.
I wouldn't think they are treating him badly, but we don't feel we can say anything to the owner as they may take it out on Dad. We could not of course prove this, but Dad cannot speak anymore so he would be able to tell us anyway.
Also, on a side point, while we were there we were talking to one of the nursing staff and discussing light heartedly about a conversation between Dad and one of the other patients (they had had an arguement). Dad kept pressing mum's leg with his as if to ask her to be quiet. Which I find worrying. Dad can understand and can decifer what he wants with yes and no. It was like he didn't want us discussing anything with the staff....as if he would pay for it later.
I know I'm probably over reacting, but I worry so much. Can anyone help with this. Tell me I'm being silly and re assure me - please.
thanks for reading
Karen