Hi,
Your story matches mine perfectly. My mum moved into a nursing home in December 2020. She was diagnosed with Lewy body dementia in 2017 and although nothing happened for the first few years in 2019 my mum went down hill. Behaviour changes, hallucinations, paranoia, difficulty walking etc. My mum wouldn’t accept carers in the home (she would call the police) so it was decided by my sister and I to get help from the mental health team for older adults who gave us a number of options one being full time care. We had a lot of conflicting advice (the care company wanted to carry on trying to get in the house - they are biased- want the business), the nhs said it was too much of a jump from being at home to a nursing home maybe try assisted living, but we eventually realised ( with some help from social services) that we knew mum best and decided to place her in a nursing home. The decision was hard and I cried all the time up until she moved in. She has been there 4 months now, never mentions about her own home and thinks she’s on a boat or in a hotel. She has deteriorated but I’m not sure if that’s the home or the condition. She sleeps a lot now (she was beginning to do that anyway) and she is struggling to walk. The carers have to help her with her mobility and I can see that she will need a wheelchair very soon. The home is lovely, they look after mum well. We couldn’t go and see any care homes when we were looking. We used the CQC website for ratings, reviews online, nursing home websites and we did a few drive by viewings. We shortlisted two and our second choice came up within a month. It was horrible and moving day came round quickly but we made the right decision. She joins in with activities when she can (they had baby chicks in for Easter which apparently she enjoyed watching and holding) and she is clean and well kept. The staff are lovely too and stimulate all the residents. I visit now at all times of the day (once a week though) and I see the home at different times which has helped me to get a picture of what they do at different times. It sounds like your mum is at the same stage as my mum. We allowed mum to stay in her home for longer than was technically advised (social services wanted her in a home in July 2020) and to be honest looking back we made the right decision to move her when we did. I must admit we have Power of Attorney so the decision was ultimately ours to make without much input from social services. You sound like you have made the decision already, I would keep fighting for what you believe is right.
Your story matches mine perfectly. My mum moved into a nursing home in December 2020. She was diagnosed with Lewy body dementia in 2017 and although nothing happened for the first few years in 2019 my mum went down hill. Behaviour changes, hallucinations, paranoia, difficulty walking etc. My mum wouldn’t accept carers in the home (she would call the police) so it was decided by my sister and I to get help from the mental health team for older adults who gave us a number of options one being full time care. We had a lot of conflicting advice (the care company wanted to carry on trying to get in the house - they are biased- want the business), the nhs said it was too much of a jump from being at home to a nursing home maybe try assisted living, but we eventually realised ( with some help from social services) that we knew mum best and decided to place her in a nursing home. The decision was hard and I cried all the time up until she moved in. She has been there 4 months now, never mentions about her own home and thinks she’s on a boat or in a hotel. She has deteriorated but I’m not sure if that’s the home or the condition. She sleeps a lot now (she was beginning to do that anyway) and she is struggling to walk. The carers have to help her with her mobility and I can see that she will need a wheelchair very soon. The home is lovely, they look after mum well. We couldn’t go and see any care homes when we were looking. We used the CQC website for ratings, reviews online, nursing home websites and we did a few drive by viewings. We shortlisted two and our second choice came up within a month. It was horrible and moving day came round quickly but we made the right decision. She joins in with activities when she can (they had baby chicks in for Easter which apparently she enjoyed watching and holding) and she is clean and well kept. The staff are lovely too and stimulate all the residents. I visit now at all times of the day (once a week though) and I see the home at different times which has helped me to get a picture of what they do at different times. It sounds like your mum is at the same stage as my mum. We allowed mum to stay in her home for longer than was technically advised (social services wanted her in a home in July 2020) and to be honest looking back we made the right decision to move her when we did. I must admit we have Power of Attorney so the decision was ultimately ours to make without much input from social services. You sound like you have made the decision already, I would keep fighting for what you believe is right.
