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Should Mum have flu jab?

LeedsLass

Registered User
Oct 13, 2014
107
Essex
My Mum is being offered the flu jab by the Care Home and they spoke with Dad to confirm whether he wanted her to have it. She is incredibly frail, weighs less than 7 stone and has been bedridden for a year. We are all surprised she is still here but she is currently fairly stable with no end in sight. We have requested no further treatment to extend her life, only to keep her comfortable. Dad has said yes and I'm now feeling very guilty for disagreeing with him. Of course I don't want her to suffer unnecessarily with flu or anything else or wish her life away. And I'd feel terrible if she died from flu and I'd refused the jab. But a dark part of me is looking for a way out of this unbearable prolonged situation. Has anyone said no to the jab?


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cragmaid

Registered User
Oct 18, 2010
7,941
North East England
I have always said no for myself and wanted to say no last winter for Mum, however it was pointed out that there was a greater risk to those who are living in close quarters and who may ( as Mum had) have impaired immune systems. My Mum wasn't going our to catch the bug, but the carers were and some of the other residents did and then there were visitors....She had the jab.
PD she died in February of Frailty of Old Age....but she didn't get the flu!
 

sleepless

Registered User
Feb 19, 2010
3,223
The Sweet North
I have always said no for myself and wanted to say no last winter for Mum, however it was pointed out that there was a greater risk to those who are living in close quarters and who may ( as Mum had) have impaired immune systems. My Mum wasn't going our to catch the bug, but the carers were and some of the other residents did and then there were visitors....She had the jab.
PD she died in February of Frailty of Old Age....but she didn't get the flu!
Maureen, if you don't mind my asking, why have you always said no to the flu jab?
 

Lawson58

Registered User
Aug 1, 2014
2,061
Victoria, Australia
Personally, I don't think dying from a severe dose of the flu would be a very pleasant way to die so I would be inclined to go with the jab.

And maybe having a flu jab is also as much about the welfare of all the other residents as well as your mum and I can imagine that the home would be really keen to reduce the risks for all of them.
 

Kevinl

Registered User
Aug 24, 2013
4,771
Salford
Sorry, but I'd say yes get her the jab. It's no about whether or not she gets flu it's about her being a carrier and passing it on to others in the home.
It's the same with kids getting vaccinated against measles/mumps or whatever, it protects them but it also protects everyone around them from getting it from her.
I took my wife for her flu jab on Monday, it's bad enough she has AZ so why wouldn't I do it.
I appreciate you're talking a more "end of life" situation than me but I think not getting her vaccinated is a bit socially irresponsible, sorry if that sounds harsh, but the whole of the residents in the home deserve protecting too, every resident and all the staff should have one.
My late Mother lingered along for ages so I understand "a dark part of me is looking for a way out of this unbearable prolonged situation" but when my mother passed away it was without possibly taking several others with her.
Sorry I sound really nasty but it's not just about you or your mum, it's about all the others who may suffer as a result of your decision.
K
 

LYN T

Registered User
Aug 30, 2012
6,960
Brixham Devon
I always agreed to my late Husband having the jab. From a personal point of view Pete had asthma and copd so I was worried that flu would lead to another chest infection. I also agree with the others about passing on flu to other residents

Take care

Lyn T
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
70,640
Kent
Dhiren always had the flu jab.

I didn`t want him to be kept alive artificially but I did want to protect him and those looking after him from preventable infection.
 

cragmaid

Registered User
Oct 18, 2010
7,941
North East England
I could give you a lot of spiel about the likelhood of catching flu and the chances of the vaccination choice of the year and the current version of the bug being the same ( they weren't last year!), but basically, I just choose not to be vaccinated. My rationale is not logical however if it was to be made compulsory, I would conform.
 

sleepless

Registered User
Feb 19, 2010
3,223
The Sweet North
I could give you a lot of spiel about the likelhood of catching flu and the chances of the vaccination choice of the year and the current version of the bug being the same ( they weren't last year!), but basically, I just choose not to be vaccinated. My rationale is not logical however if it was to be made compulsory, I would conform.
That's honest, thanks.
 

maryw

Registered User
Nov 16, 2008
3,805
Surrey
Hubby has just had his flu jab. GP said last year's flu jab was ineffective as virus mutated on its way over from Australia....
 

BR_ANA

Registered User
Jun 27, 2012
1,081
Brazil
My mother skipped flu shot on 2013.

However

A boy on my town died of flu some years ago - he was 16!! - virus attacked his hearth. On last than a week he was from a popular athletic boy to the first one on hearth transplant list. ( he died 2 hours before the donor).

Talk to your GP about flu symptoms and consequences; flu shot pro and against.
 

LeedsLass

Registered User
Oct 13, 2014
107
Essex
Thank you for all your comments. Dad has spoken to 2 doctors who both advise she has the jab and she will have it next week. I hadn't even thought about the possibility of passing it on to others as she is never moved now. I feel a bit ashamed for even questioning it. Wishing you all a good night.


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karen1967

Registered User
Oct 10, 2015
20
Blackpool
flue jab

Thank you for all your comments. Dad has spoken to 2 doctors who both advise she has the jab and she will have it next week. I hadn't even thought about the possibility of passing it on to others as she is never moved now. I feel a bit ashamed for even questioning it. Wishing you all a good night.


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I am new to this site and this is the first thing I have read, due to mum having it next week. Mum has a DNR in place but has said she wants the flue jab to go a head. So I understand how your feeling confused. I would have asked the question too so please do not feel ashamed, as my understanding of this place to chat is so we can ask each other open questions and speak frankly about any thing and every thing with out feeling guilty or ashamed. Or I hope that's what it is here for.
 

LeedsLass

Registered User
Oct 13, 2014
107
Essex
Thanks Karen you are exactly right about TP. I hope you find it as helpful as I do during this difficult stage of life. All the best to you and your Mum X


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Cat27

Volunteer Moderator
Feb 27, 2015
10,819
Merseyside
I am new to this site and this is the first thing I have read, due to mum having it next week. Mum has a DNR in place but has said she wants the flue jab to go a head. So I understand how your feeling confused. I would have asked the question too so please do not feel ashamed, as my understanding of this place to chat is so we can ask each other open questions and speak frankly about any thing and every thing with out feeling guilty or ashamed. Or I hope that's what it is here for.
That is exactly what we are here for! :)
 

BR_ANA

Registered User
Jun 27, 2012
1,081
Brazil
Thank you for all your comments. Dad has spoken to 2 doctors who both advise she has the jab and she will have it next week. I hadn't even thought about the possibility of passing it on to others as she is never moved now. I feel a bit ashamed for even questioning it. Wishing you all a good night.


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There is no shame in asking. I have had this same doubt every April ( south hemisphere). I had this doubt this year.

I see TP as a place where ideas are exchanged. And I think anyone should be free to have any idea.
 

Tin

Registered User
May 18, 2014
4,825
UK
I had same doubts last year, my mum has been having flu jabs for almost 8 years now and I thought, why?? Apart from Dementia, perfectly healthy no coughs or colds, conclusion that is because she has the flu jab. 5 minutes ago just had her jab, community nurse came to the house, surprised me because I never made a house call appointment, we were supposed to go to surgery on Wednesday morning. Apparently having had one home visit months ago she is now entitled to flu jab at home!
 

DMac

Registered User
Jul 18, 2015
535
Surrey, UK
Good news re: change in process for 'flu jabs

Just had to comment on this thread because I have today been with my MIL and DIL to our local pharmacy, for all of us to have the 'flu jab. The pharmacy is only 5 minute walk away, so and even DIL with his limited mobility was able to walk there.

The pharmacist told me that there has been a change in process this year, so that pharmacies can now administer the 'flu jab under the NHS. Previously, they could only administer jabs that were paid for privately.

I just wanted to shout this from the rooftops, because it could save a lot of people a lot of time and inconvenience!

The best news of all was that I was entitled to a jab for free, because I'm a carer! :)
MIL and DIL are automatically entitled, as they are over 65.

I'm not sure if this is a national change, but it certainly applies in my county (Surrey). It has saved me a trip to the GP 'flu clinic not only for MIL and DIL, but for me as well. It's nice to report some good news!