Should I Visit?


Registered User
Jun 4, 2003
My mother has Alzheimers and has recently been admitted to a care home. She was being cared for by my brothers until her admission. I have not had a lot of contact with her over the last few years and the last time I saw her she did not know who I was.

My dilemma is whether I should visit her in the care home. I know she is being well looked after and my brothers see her every day.

Will she gain anything from a visit from me.

Has anybody been in a similar situation.


Registered User
Jun 18, 2003
Yes, you should visit if you want to visit whether she recognizes you or not...comfort can come from quietly sitting with your loved one reading a book next to them. But, don't beat yourself up if you must emotionally detach from the situation...we all handle this horrendous disease in our own way.
I choose to see mom, my brother does not. Neither of us is a better or worse person for our choice. There are weeks when I cannot see mom and must concentrate on my own peace of mind. Your mom would want whatever is best for you and whatever gives you peace. The love is eternal but hidden from our earthly view.


Registered User
Jun 16, 2003
I would like to add one more thing. The fact that you ask the question indicates that you have concern & feel umcomfortable with not going.

I would also go for your own sense of satisfaction. It can't do any harm & it will, at the very least, give you a sense of comfort that you satisfied yourself. I believe that she will feel some benefit, even if outwardly she doesn't show it, almost like those in a coma and you will feel better for it.

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