I've been caring for my husband with dementia for 5 + years. I've taken what feels like a big decision and booked him into a care home for a week's respite as I feel I really need a break away from caring. The home have said I must do whatever feels right for my husband and me but have suggested that I don't visit during the week as my husband is likely to think I am coming to take him home every time I visit. So at the moment, I have arranged for other members of my family and friends that he knows well to visit each day so that he doesn't feel abandoned, I hope. Part of me doesn't want to visit so that I can have a complete break but I also would feel awful if he was very distressed because I wasn't around ( and he does depend on me a great deal). I do a bit of part time work and he accepts that sometimes this means I am not with him all the time, so the plan is to say that I am away working.
Does anyone have experience of this situation? I have the option of extending the respite to a fortnight which I will do if he seems to settle reasonably ok and I think then I will visit but it's the first week I'm really mixed up about......I feel both awful about what I'm planning to do ( and he doesnt know about it) but I'm also really looking forward to the break and of course, feel hugely guilty about that too! Any tips, ideas, or what worked for you in similar circumstances would be very welcome
Does anyone have experience of this situation? I have the option of extending the respite to a fortnight which I will do if he seems to settle reasonably ok and I think then I will visit but it's the first week I'm really mixed up about......I feel both awful about what I'm planning to do ( and he doesnt know about it) but I'm also really looking forward to the break and of course, feel hugely guilty about that too! Any tips, ideas, or what worked for you in similar circumstances would be very welcome
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