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should i tell my mum (who suffers from Alzheimer) that my dad is dead?

M_M

Registered User
Apr 12, 2013
12
Hi all,
just a piece of advice ... my dad died of cancer yesterday.. before falling ill he was my mum main carer.. he is her focal point..she always looks for him.. I now don't know whether we should tell her is dead or keep on inventing is out .. any of you have had a similar experience?
thank you
 

Beate

Registered User
May 21, 2014
11,954
London
My condolences. This comes up quite often. The general consensus is to use love lies instead of telling the truth and thus making her go through grief over and over again. There is really nothing gained by it.
 

Raggedrobin

Registered User
Jan 20, 2014
1,427
I would say tell her, once, that he is gone, and then after that when she thinks he is still alive, to start using the love lies then, perhaps.
It is a terrible situation and I am sorry for your loss. The other side of the distress of loss is I notice my Mum quite often revives people who are dead, thinks she sees them or whatever, i just go along with it.
 

Kevinl

Registered User
Aug 24, 2013
4,771
Salford
I would say tell her, once, that he is gone, and then after that when she thinks he is still alive, to start using the love lies then, perhaps.
It is a terrible situation and I am sorry for your loss. The other side of the distress of loss is I notice my Mum quite often revives people who are dead, thinks she sees them or whatever, i just go along with it.
Couldn't have put it better myself, totally agree with ragged.
K
 

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