Should I tell my aunt

[Lyn11]

Hi everyone, . I have an aunt who has Alzheimer’s and at the moment she is going along ok., I know that this can change quite quickly. We have had problems along the way with her resisting care but she now loves the nurses as she calls them and they visit twice a day. She has been taking donepazil since January and it really does seem to have helped her a lot.
Myself and my brother are her only relatives. I have arranged most of the help for my aunt and do a online shop for her weekly.. The problem is that I am going to go away for maybe six months or longer as my family live abroad. How can I tell my aunt or should I tell her I am going away for so long? I feel so bad about leaving her but I need to see my own family I feel torn. My brother will take over the shopping and other needs for her but I feel guilty all the time. Thank you for any advise.

 

[margherita]

Hi @Lyn11 ,
I wouldn't tell your aunt you are going to be away for such a long time. Once you are away you can tell her something happened which makes you put off your return home.

 

[canary]

Hi @Lyn11
Th main thing is to avoid distressing your aunt. I would be inclined to tell her on the last time that you see her before you go. Mention casually that you are going away on holiday, but dont mention how long for or any of the details. If she askes you, be very vague - oh, not long, Ill be back very soon; Im going to visit family; etc. Tell her you know she will be fine, because your brother will be there. Then change the subject, or distract with a cup of tea/cake, or whatever. Depending on how far along her dementia is, you may find that shes not very inquisitive about your holiday at all.

Do keep in touch with your brother while you are away and be prepared to support him if something happens. Six months is a long time in dementia world.

 

[Lyn11]

thank you for your replies, Inwill be contact with my brother.