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Should I tell mum she's moving in with me?

Rebecca Visner

New member
Nov 21, 2020
Good afternoon. My Mother has been diagnosed with some type of dementi/Alzheimer’. At this point it’s all the same in my eyes. heres a bit of back ground on our situation. Our mother lives alone on 5 acres and she has always kept it prestige. With help she has been doing fine. She refuses to make any decisions about her future and is in complete denial. Doesn’t remember to take her medication or give her dog his medication. I am trying to stay at her house as much as possible. But I do have my own home and my own animals. I have told Her we will share my house. She can totally have 1/2 of it which consists of 3 bedroom, full bath and a den. She refuses to come live with me because of her 2 cats. With all that said. We now have an infestation of fleas she doesn’t believe me when I even show her the fleas on her dog. I have taken all the necessary steps to get rid of from my house and hers. Last night she new we where bombing her house. She refused to leave so I just took her out and set them all off. I took her to my house and all she did was worry about the cats. We put them on the porch. Doesn’t remember. Up most of the night with her screaming she wants to go home. This morning took her home she’s wandering around and I’m just sitting trying to decide if I did the right thing last night. Should I just tell her she is moving in with me? she most definelty can not be alone any longer. Please, please any advise would be welcomed! Thank for ready I know it’s long


Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
hello @Rebecca Visner
a warm welcome to DTP

you definitely needed to deal with the fleas, and that never was going to be easy ... hopefully it's now done and dusted
it has, though, shown you how your mum might react should she move in with you ... and moving or not is her choice as long as she has the capacity to make it
have you any support in place ie home care visits at your mum's, as this may be a way to give you some time to think .... have you had an assessment of her care needs by her Local Authority Adult Services. from which a care package will be suggested (up to 4 home care visits a day)
if she has little income and few savings, the Local Authority will part fund her care ... this may help explain
if she has sufficient finances to be self-funding, you can arrange whatever care you think will help her cope at home as she will pay

if they are not already in place, you may want to look into helping her put lasting Powers of Attorney in place

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