Should I tell her she's going to die? And if so, how on earth do I do it?

[lashkari]

Hi David,

I can understand how torn you must be about what to do. You feel as if you have to do what is right for your parents, just as they have always done what is right for you. Look back on your childhood and remember those times when they may have protected you as that was the kindest thing to do. Now you can do the same for your mother. Please do not feel guilty by keeping the truth from her. Do what is best for her. Like others have said, there is no point in upsetting her.

Take care.
Janet.

Dear Janet, thank you so much for your very kind, gentle and supportive reply. It is very much appreciated

Best wishes

David

 

[kingybell]

I'm not sure it will do much other than cause emotional distress. She may forget what was said but it may leave an emotionally bad memory.

If it's because you want to plan a funeral you could ask her what her wishes are.
We approached this subject with mil and just said that we knew her husbands wishes and not hers and really at her age we should be prepared especially if she wants a big expensive catholic burial (which she does).