I am sitting here in floods of tears. I want to reply to everyone, you all seem to have such a hard time of things and my heart goes out to you all.
However I think I may be getting depressed. Is it normal to only think of oneself. As much as I would do anything for my dear Lionel, I am more and more questioning my own role in the overall scheme of things.
I have had the grandchildren to stay this week, the boys 15, 11 and 9 at the start of the week, changing over on Thursday when the grandaughters 6 & 3 came. I try to juggle keeping them happy with keeping things in routine for Lionel. He loves them all, especially the 3 year old, but at times is totally irrational about them staying.
I am not prepared to give up seeing the 'kids', especially now that his daughter (after 4 years) and alot of harsh words is on the scene again. She wants to seeher dad, but has had to cancel twice, so we are still awaiting that visit. Lionel, bless him, does not recall the difficult times of the past, so he is quite happy with the situation.
As when his son got in touch, this time last year, it resulted in Lionel attempting suicide, he was so depressed at the situation, I am not happy but cannot stop them meeting.
Everyone seems to think that Itis her right, and Lionels right, and 'uncle tom cobbleys right' but what about me. Where are my rights.
Just now I want to run away, hide, find myself, anything but be a CARER.
Sorry I seem to have rambled on , perhaps I should delete this...... We have been at the hospital today for Lionels MRI scan..had to get a friend to have the little girls for 2 hours...Everything I do revolves around AD.
Don't feel like smiling, but I do send my love and respect to all of you. Connie
However I think I may be getting depressed. Is it normal to only think of oneself. As much as I would do anything for my dear Lionel, I am more and more questioning my own role in the overall scheme of things.
I have had the grandchildren to stay this week, the boys 15, 11 and 9 at the start of the week, changing over on Thursday when the grandaughters 6 & 3 came. I try to juggle keeping them happy with keeping things in routine for Lionel. He loves them all, especially the 3 year old, but at times is totally irrational about them staying.
I am not prepared to give up seeing the 'kids', especially now that his daughter (after 4 years) and alot of harsh words is on the scene again. She wants to seeher dad, but has had to cancel twice, so we are still awaiting that visit. Lionel, bless him, does not recall the difficult times of the past, so he is quite happy with the situation.
As when his son got in touch, this time last year, it resulted in Lionel attempting suicide, he was so depressed at the situation, I am not happy but cannot stop them meeting.
Everyone seems to think that Itis her right, and Lionels right, and 'uncle tom cobbleys right' but what about me. Where are my rights.
Just now I want to run away, hide, find myself, anything but be a CARER.
Sorry I seem to have rambled on , perhaps I should delete this...... We have been at the hospital today for Lionels MRI scan..had to get a friend to have the little girls for 2 hours...Everything I do revolves around AD.
Don't feel like smiling, but I do send my love and respect to all of you. Connie