My 82 yr old Mum has demetia of mixed aetology, as well as COPD, a heart problem, a skin complaint and very bad arthritis in her spine and hips.
She was sectioned into care 3 1/2 years ago, as my father was terminally ill and was unable to care for her an longer.
When Dad passed away in Jan 2013 we left mum where she was - despite a 4-5 hour round trip for both my sister and I to visit, as her friends still visited her. In June last year we moved her as the care home she was in had recieved negative CQC reports, we were equally unahappy with her care, and her freinds no longer visited as she was begining to not know who they were - we therefore felt it would be easier to have her nearer to my sister and I. We chose a home that was exactly half way between the two us, we live 2 hours away from each other, so reduced the travelling time to approx 1 hour each.
Sadly over the last 16 months, my sister is visting less often as her husband has MS and is deteriorating fast. This means that I now have more pressure to make a many visits as possible as I am effectively the only visitor she gets (there is no other family or friends).
My dilemma is whether I should disrupt Mum and move her to a home near to me, where I could visit her two or three times a week and bring her to my home occasioanlly. Or should I leave her where she is (which is adequate for her needs and she is settled) and for her to only have visits from me once every 2-3 weeks, when I can at weekends (I work full time in a very demanding job, and live on my own, so weekends are indeed presious to me).
Mum doesnt remember if I last visited an hour or a month ago, but is overjoyed when I do visit.
Working on the "best interest" of the person with dementia, what should I do?
I love all my family very much and just dont know what to do for the best without making myself ill (I had a heart attack 3 weeks before my father died due to the stress of what was happening).
Any thoughts would be welcomed - even if I may not like them!!!
Thank you
She was sectioned into care 3 1/2 years ago, as my father was terminally ill and was unable to care for her an longer.
When Dad passed away in Jan 2013 we left mum where she was - despite a 4-5 hour round trip for both my sister and I to visit, as her friends still visited her. In June last year we moved her as the care home she was in had recieved negative CQC reports, we were equally unahappy with her care, and her freinds no longer visited as she was begining to not know who they were - we therefore felt it would be easier to have her nearer to my sister and I. We chose a home that was exactly half way between the two us, we live 2 hours away from each other, so reduced the travelling time to approx 1 hour each.
Sadly over the last 16 months, my sister is visting less often as her husband has MS and is deteriorating fast. This means that I now have more pressure to make a many visits as possible as I am effectively the only visitor she gets (there is no other family or friends).
My dilemma is whether I should disrupt Mum and move her to a home near to me, where I could visit her two or three times a week and bring her to my home occasioanlly. Or should I leave her where she is (which is adequate for her needs and she is settled) and for her to only have visits from me once every 2-3 weeks, when I can at weekends (I work full time in a very demanding job, and live on my own, so weekends are indeed presious to me).
Mum doesnt remember if I last visited an hour or a month ago, but is overjoyed when I do visit.
Working on the "best interest" of the person with dementia, what should I do?
I love all my family very much and just dont know what to do for the best without making myself ill (I had a heart attack 3 weeks before my father died due to the stress of what was happening).
Any thoughts would be welcomed - even if I may not like them!!!
Thank you