Oh dear not much different here in New Zealand.
Mum (with AD) had an appt with the Geritrician the other week after a year.
I had asked if I could talk to him privately or give him a letter beforehand, and I was told as Mum was the patient he had a duty to inform Mum of whatever I told him.
When he asked Mum the usual questions which obviously Mum has no insight into how much she has deteriorated, so in her eyes she was just fine and dandy, he asked me the same.
I wasn't going to upset Mum, and risk my relationship by contradicting what she said in front of her so all I did say was that Mum needed a lot more supervision.
The upshot of the visit was the the Geritrician thought Mum was stable with no change and discharged her from his care and back to her GP!
To make matters worse, despite having my address for appt letters and correspondence , he sent a copy of his clinic visit to Mum
She immediately phoned me to tell me, and I'm not sure how much she read or how much she took in, but she was not happy. There were even things written , which I did not say. Maybe the Geritricain surmised them but had no right to add anything that was not verbally said.
I saw Mums GP and let him know exactly what was what.
In the meantime Dad is under the Memory Team as he has cognitive impairment, and he had to fill out a questionnaire mainly regarding caring for Mum.
He said he needed my help, as he wasn't Mums carer, and didn't want to get it wrong.
I said that if I helped him he would have to be honest in his answers and how he felt.
He said he couldn't be bothered.
He has an appt soon with the Memory Team nurse who said she would try and get Dad to talk.
I think if you help your Mum fill it out, put what ever answers she gives to keep her happy.
However if you think different, and you have the ability to talk/email the Memory Team nurse privately then do so.