I'm 37 and my Mum is 73. I had problems with my mum which started in summer 2015. She had started to become overbearing and nagging at me. And sometimes I get really upset and stressed out because of this. Two of my mum's older brother's have dementia and had to go into a care home. My grandad also had dementia. My mum had an assessment last year and the doctor confirmed it is memory loss she has and is now taking medication. Sometimes I'm annoyed with her nagging and then she has a go at me telling me to get off her back. The other day she came to me twice to show me her vaccination ticket, I told her she had shown it before and she agitated saying that I am nagging her.
Should I get my mum into a care home
- Thread starter Nightshade01
- Start date
Yes it is very wearing but she probably can't help it. Sometimes it is best to just go along with her as an easy option as it is less stressful for both of you. Always agree (unless it is impossible) and if you can't agree, change the subject, defer or delay.
There is a very helpful thread on here somewhere called 'Compassionate communication' or something like that but I am not sure where it is. Hopefully someone else will post it on here for you. It explains a lot and gives you ways to cope with the repetition without making your mum or whoever it is feel frustrated with themselves.
There is a very helpful thread on here somewhere called 'Compassionate communication' or something like that but I am not sure where it is. Hopefully someone else will post it on here for you. It explains a lot and gives you ways to cope with the repetition without making your mum or whoever it is feel frustrated with themselves.
Hi @Nightshade01
Here is the thread that @Duggies-girl was talking about
forum.alzheimers.org.uk
Here is the thread that @Duggies-girl was talking about
Compassionate Communication with the Memory Impaired
The following piece was posted a while ago on DSF and made a big impression on me. It is something I have referred to time after time and tried hard to follow. We have many new members who may not have seen it before. Yesterday I posted it on another Thread but thought it might be helpful if...
forum.alzheimers.org.uk
I feel she may need a care home as she suffers from lower back pain. I'm also annoyed with her behaviour, fighting, arguing and taking down to me. I have been dealing with it since 2015 and I am trying to find somewhere else to live now. I haven't been well myself and have been stressed, anxious and suffered from hallucinations. I can't stand my mental health nurse either as he has an attitude. I think he got fed up with me calling him and he called me and huffed and hung up like he was fed up with me. Now I don't want anymore to do with him.
Sometimes the way my mum talks to me aggresively find it insulting or degrading.
Sometimes the way my mum talks to me aggresively find it insulting or degrading.
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I'm struggling to cope now. She is often fighting and arguing and blaming me for it. I have been getting ill and getting hacked off sometimes and she starts shouting at me to "grow up" She also criticizes me for mistakes I make. I had all this with my uncle who used to live with me and the only person I can talk to in my family is my cousin. I can't bear it anymore.
I really do think it would be a good idea to contact Social Services and tell them that you are unable to continue caring for your mum.
Have you got any further with trying to find a place of your own?
Have you got any further with trying to find a place of your own?
