Although I'm not, generally, in favour of putting off the inevitable, I think, if she takes liquids from you, then it is right that you should give them. I'm afraid that I don't see a happy outcome, but I do think it's important that at the end, you should be comfortable saying "I did what I could do" for your own peace of mind. I also think it would acceptable NOT to do this - you have to do what YOU need to do to feel right about the situation (or as right as you're able to).

Regarding the storage issue - perhaps you could take in ice and an ice bucket?

I am so sorry that you are both going through this

Love

Jennifer

 

Willemm'

You must do exactly as your heart tells you. You have cared for your wife for a long time, and you wouldn't feel right giving up now. Keep that love in your heart.

Sorry I can't help on the food issue, but you and your wife are in my thoughts.

Take care,

 

Willemm

Have you thought about jars of baby food, they come already pureed, you can get sweet and savoury.

Best wishes.

Carol

 

Willem, most grocery stores stock yoghurt based fruit smoothy drinks - they normally have a great number of calories in them and often quite a lot of protein.

Jennifer

 

Willemm,

Just to say that my mother in law has been in hospital for over 7 weeks now, she went in with a UTI for one week, came out for one day then went down with a diarrhoea superbug, clostridium difficile, she has been in an isolation ward for the past 6 weeks, the bug went but unfortunately came back, hopefully now it has gone, but she now has a particularly nasty UTI, over the last 6 weeks she has lost her mobility also she has been unable to feed or drink herself, we have been making sure that at least once a day someone is there to feed her, her food has been pureed for the past 6 weeks and she is off and on a drip, but if we hadn't been feeding her I don't think she would have survived. It just takes so long to feed her, but the nursing staff in the hospital don't have 45mins to spare. At the beginning she was assessed as needing residential care, she had an assessment by a care home last week, which was absolutely hopeless, she couldn't answer any questions, no mobility, and she has to be fed and watered, the manager from the home said they could not take her in her present state, and that she needed nursing care, but now the hospital say she is not ready to be discharged until the UTI is sorted. She has been on some strong antibiotics for the diarrhoea bug, metronidazole and vancomycin and we are hoping that she still has some improvement to make. Although now she seems to spend a lot of time asleep. My father in law is nearly 87 and mother in law is 83, they have been married for over 60 years, and we will do anything that we can to help them both over this difficult time.

So I can understand that you want to still keep trying to keep up with fluids etc. for your wife.

With very best wishes.

Carol

 

Hello willemm,

Just a thought willemm is that my own mother is unable to feed or drink without me doing it, and that she doesn't eat or drink very well at all if someone else does it, so maybe your wife takes drinks better as you are familiar and more patient with her. My own opinion is that you should perservere. My mum fell and broke her nose six months ago and obviously was particularly unwilling to eat or drink but I persevered, I even resorted to using a syringe to feed her fluids and soup etc just so I could keep her fed and hydrated.

Some ideas to try are Lidl do a multivitamin fruit juice that my mum likes or you can buy a similar thing from any supermarket called Adez. Also mashed up banana, complan, pureed fruit (sainsburys do some called organix in different flavours), semolina, horlicks, yoghurts, blended soup, mashed potato on its own or mashed with other veg with some gravy added.

Hope this helps and very best wishes to you and your wife.

 

Sending you strength and caring wishes. Nell

 

Should I feed her myself

Hi,
I have some idea of what you are going through, I lost my Mum a month ago. She was admitted to hospital with a hip problem and from that moment went down hill. Would not take her medication, would not eat or drink. She was rehydrated several times by the drip but always pulled it out. She went back to the Care Home and like you wife went into a Coma like state and just slipped away peacefully. My heart goes out to you and I am thinking of you.
Take Care
Carolann

 

So sorry Willemm. It seems the end is near for your wife. I hope you have the strength to cope and find some consolation in the knowledge that she, at least is peaceful.
Lokk after yourself as well as you have looked after your wife. Sylvia

 

HI WILLEMM

So sorry to hear about your wife, my thoughts go out to you, iam sure you have done all you can for her and she will soon be at rest.
kathy

 

Dear willemm, my heart goes out to you. Stay strong, and try to carry on with what you are doing for your dear wife. Just being there will surely be comforting for her I'm sure.
Sending love and hugs,

 

Willemm
Just to let you know that I am thinking of you and your wife.

Connie and Tina have said it all, really. You are doing the right thing, talking to her, letting her know you are with her. One more thing (but only if you feel it appropriate). When my mum was at that stage, I quietly told her it was all right to let go, and asked her to look for my daughter and tell her how much I missed her. She seemed to smile, and she died that night, with me holding her hand.

I know not everyone has the same beliefs, but I felt it gave my mum comfort.

Stay strong.

 

Willem, I am so sorry that you are both going through this. I don't know if it is of any comfort, but everything I have read indicates that when someone is dying, thirst and hunger become non-issues. Dry mouth is pretty common, but can be alleviated with sips of water etc. The body ceases to feel hunger because of the breakdown of tissues. This is a quote from an article about palliative care

"A healthy individual has an anabolic metabolism, which can use nutrients to build and
repair tissue. During the dying process, however, the body shifts from an anabolic to a catabolic state, where nutrients cannot be used. It is this catabolic condition that leads to starvation and dehydration. This shift is a natural part of the dying process and occurs whether or not food and fluids are provided, even with tube feeding or total parenteral nutrition."

This is the link to the article if you want to read it (it also talks about the issue of hunger)
http://www.capitalhospice.org/news/documents/hhn0106-54-57-hospice.pdf

Love

Jennifer

 

Willelm
My heart too goes out to you as I am in pretty much the same boat

My Mother is sleeping , refusing meds and food and apparently they are doing an X ray today .......probably only as a result of me asking what was causing the aneamia ...........but then they asked my sister to bring in Live Yoghurt

I was gobsmacked that a hospital cant provide live yoghurt !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!