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Should I contact Social Services about Mum?

fionajane

Registered User
Nov 21, 2013
45
0
Hi everyone,
This is my first day here and, as I've been feeling pretty isolated, it's been really helpful to read others' threads.

My mum is 78 and was diagnosed with Az in spring, although I'd suspected something was wrong for a year or so before that. Spring was terrible - she became terrified and delusional, was convinced she'd been burgled and was seen wandering out in the countryside. She and I are lucky to have a brilliant GP (I live very close to Mum) who had her referred to a psychiatrist, who prescribed Donepezil - it's helped enormously. She also has a monthly visit from a mental health nurse who's lovely.

My questions is - should I also be contacting Social Services now? She HATES 'interference' in her life, is fiercely independent and still goes shopping (2 hour round trip) alone, with no mishaps that I know of. She is sort of coping... ish. I assume she is managing to take her meds as she is quite calm and level at the mo, and always has a smile on her face. I see her nearly every day but don't supervise her meds.

Really, is there anything Social Services could add at this stage? What could they actually do, or add to her life? I don't want to rock the boat, and suspect it might be too early for them to intervene, but worry that I'm not being as decisive or proactive as I should be. Bit rambly - sorry! Any thoughts welcome. x
 

meme

Registered User
Aug 29, 2011
1,953
0
London
keep her smiling as long as you can x..... she seems to be doing just fine for now...
 

Anongirl

Registered User
Aug 8, 2012
2,668
0
Hi Fionajane and welcome!

You are describing my mum a year ago. The changes were quite gradual with my mum. She was still doing her weekly shop (walking there and back with heavy bags), visiting people, paying bills and managing things. Gradually though little things started to change, she would buy the same things at the supermarket even though she had lots at home, she would eat the same meal every night, she would go to the corner shop and come home because she had forgotten what she went for. The breaking point for me though was when she started going to the GP for repeat prescriptions and got upset because they wouldn't give it to her. I then checked her tablets and realised she had no idea what she was doing, taking too many or not enough. Even when they were put into dosette boxes she was opening the wrong compartments. It was a huge source of stress.

I knew she needed help and I knew she would be resistant but it couldn't carry on and I told her that. We got an assessment and started to get carers to come in and help her with the tablets. Now a year on and they help her with breakfast and dinner (gas cooker was being left on). The introduction was slow but she couldn't cope at home alone now without that help.

I would keep an eye on things. Whether she is eating and taking her tablets, etc. It's not easy, my mum always sees it that I'm trying to take her independence away whereas in fact I'm trying to help her keep it!

You're doing all you can. Keep us informed xxx
 

fionajane

Registered User
Nov 21, 2013
45
0
That's hugely helpful Anongirl, thanks so much. In some ways we are very lucky in that she lives 5 mins away and I can keep a close eye - like your mum a year ago, mine can do most things fine. A bit dishevelled sometimes but always dressed, bright, happy and up for a day out. Cooks fried brek every morning (!) and then snacks on fruit, sarnies etc. She actually looks pretty well.

Her shopping habits do worry me. She takes a liking for something sparkly - ie, a glass xmas tree, laden with glittery baubles - and gets two, tries to give me one, then buys 6 more!! Repeat buying. Agh......

Luckily I have POA and can access her online bank to keep an eye. x
 

Anongirl

Registered User
Aug 8, 2012
2,668
0
The distance was, and still is, an issue. It's about 11 miles each way. I work too. It makes it harder to spot problems. I rely on the carers now.

At the time when the problems started my brother still lived at home and he noticed some of the signs. I had noticed the beginning of problems around the end of 2010 but I think I didn't want to face it. I still don't want to face it!

Your mum seems to be doing very well, I'm impressed with the cooked breakfast every day!

It's handy you living close. I think you will know when her day to day life is getting affected and that's when you will need support. A slow introduction seemed to work for my mum. Not easy though I know.

Take care of yourself xxx
 
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fionajane

Registered User
Nov 21, 2013
45
0
Thanks Anon I think a slow introduction is a v good idea, will bear that in mind when the time seems right. In the meantime, anyone need lots of glass xmas trees, 8 bottles of clinique toner (!)...? x
 

Anongirl

Registered User
Aug 8, 2012
2,668
0
Ha ha! I would have taken the Xmas trees off your hands, my little girl loves sparkly things! Clinique toner isn't cheap, your mum at least has good taste ;) x
 

2jays

Registered User
Jun 4, 2010
11,600
0
West Midlands
Ahhh another Clinique mum

Mum always used Clinique, probably from the time it was invented :eek: :D

We, the family, are still plowing through the stuff mum bought. Even though not many of us in the family use much make up, cleanser, perfume, etc etc to the degree she bought it at :D

now she is in a care home, mum has her make up bag full of the stuff, sadly never now used..... And the rest that was bought, as I say, we are are still doing our best to use :)

I seem to remember, way back when, in the mists of time,when I first joined TP, someone "complaining" of their mother constantly buying small packets of tissues. I seem to remember, at least 6 years after their mother stopped having access to a shop, they were STILL trying to use up the tissue mountain.

Positive thinking. Clinique or tissues. I think I prefer trying to use up Clinique over tissues.....

I can afford to buy tissues....

But there again, they both have their merits :D
 

fionajane

Registered User
Nov 21, 2013
45
0
:) Yankee candles for 3 packs of beetroot, 2 lemon tarts, 6 boxes of M&S cookies, some slippers you put in the microwave (!) and a large glittery plastic reindeer...? Boy, does mum love to SHOP! x