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should a care home not say


Registered User
Sep 27, 2013
I have been trying to help my mother eat for about 2 and half months and it is difficult we are not doing as well I would wish.Today she was having a foot ulcer dressed; came as a bit of a shock.I am the closest relative.should the care home volenteer information on my mothers well being or should I continue to find out things by chance?


Registered User
Jan 14, 2010
East Kent
Have deleted my reply as I had not re read any of you previous posts and did not realise the difficult situation you are in, so my advice was not right for your situation.

It could well be like Mamsgirl, Post nu 5 has said, that it the SW who is the homes' first point of contact, or if their is anyone named as the first person to be contacted, I suggest that if the SW is unaware of Mums Ulcer, that you inform them esp if it is/could be caused by pressure, Is the ulcer on Mums heel?

I sincerely hope you can get this awful situation sorted soon

I hope the Ulcer on your Mums foot heals quickly
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Registered User
Jun 2, 2013
Melbourne, Australia
Hi Silkcut, sorry to hear about your Mum's foot.

Wondering whether the nursing home is authorised to formally discuss medical treatment with you, strange as that seems.

The NH my stepfather, who died in July, was in had a contact list for alerting guardians and/or family. The first on his list was my Mum as his next of kin, then me, my husband, SF's son who lives interstate etc. The NH policy was to start at the top of the list and keep going until one of us were contacted. They were required only to alert one person on the list.

From your past posts I wonder if a social worker is the first point of contact in your mother's records for legal reasons. If so, the NH would have absolutely no right to tell anyone, even a clearly dedicated, devoted and loving son such as yourself information about your lovely Mum's medical history.

Would it be worth checking with SS, when the distress and worry of the current situation have abated a little, what the contact protocol is, and suggesting a review?

Good luck with this Silkcut, patience is the hardest thing in the world to come by when we're worried with good cause, but I'm hoping it comes your way in spades, Toni.
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