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Short term memory loss.

susief59

Registered User
Jun 26, 2019
16
0
Hi I care for my dad and he has not short term memory at all. I see him every morning (usually we go out or I bring him for a cuppa to mine for a change), often in the afternoon and then do his tea at tea time. When I call at his at tea time, I often say things like - that was a nice cuppa an cake this morning at the cafe, or It was a nice walk earlier we had when we walked on the beach. Tonight he said that when I say things like that its as if I am talking about someone else as he never has any memories of seeing me earlier or doing things. He said that he goes for a walk, then sits down with his coat on but cant remember if he has been for a walk or is about to go for a walk. He spoke openly tonight about just having fog in his brain and no memories of that day at all. Im not sure whether to continue talking about what we do or just do them and never mention them. Any advice please? I hate the thought of him sitting there thinking he never goes out and thinking he is just there all day. He recently had some sort of dementia test at the doctors for his short term memory and scored 0.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
75,006
0
Kent
Hello @susief59

If discussing previous activities causes your dad anxiety if he has no recollection, it probably does more harm than good.

It might be best to live in the present or even the future by talking about plans you would like to make with him. Even if he forgets, it might help him to know how much you care.

You could try asking him about the past. Many people with dementia have fairly good long term memories but not all. Just try once and if it doesn`t work at least you have tried.

You are doing all you can to make sure your dad is safe. Even though he has no memory of your visits he has the comfort while you are there.

Have you considered trying to get some outside support for him? I know things are difficult with covid now but there might be something available.


 

susief59

Registered User
Jun 26, 2019
16
0
Hello @susief59

If discussing previous activities causes your dad anxiety if he has no recollection, it probably does more harm than good.

It might be best to live in the present or even the future by talking about plans you would like to make with him. Even if he forgets, it might help him to know how much you care.

You could try asking him about the past. Many people with dementia have fairly good long term memories but not all. Just try once and if it doesn`t work at least you have tried.

You are doing all you can to make sure your dad is safe. Even though he has no memory of your visits he has the comfort while you are there.

Have you considered trying to get some outside support for him? I know things are difficult with covid now but there might be something available.


Hi Thank you for your reply.
Yes, I agree I need to stop talking about what we have done. I just worry that he thinks he sits there on his own all day when he doesn't. I am managing on my own at the moment as he does not really like strangers coming in. He said everyone talks too fast. I do realise at a later date I will have to get some support to help with things, but until then I will keep doing what I can. Its just so sad.
Thank you again. Sue x
 

Suze83

New member
Dec 2, 2021
6
0
Hi, I hooe you don't mind - my aunt has this issue, just gentle reminders are nice for her, sometimes talking as though it's another person helps her as in 'we had a great walk and saw x, y and z'

Giving prompts, clues and telling stories with people really helps them. Sometimes it's not that they need to know they've been anywhere it's just interaction. Conversation. Inclusion.

Its more frustrating to us than to them. Honestly. 🙂
 

susief59

Registered User
Jun 26, 2019
16
0
Hi, I hooe you don't mind - my aunt has this issue, just gentle reminders are nice for her, sometimes talking as though it's another person helps her as in 'we had a great walk and saw x, y and z'

Giving prompts, clues and telling stories with people really helps them. Sometimes it's not that they need to know they've been anywhere it's just interaction. Conversation. Inclusion.

Its more frustrating to us than to them. Honestly. 🙂
Thank you for answering. I appreciate your comments. Yes. I think it is worse for me. Thanks