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Dear Helen, I'm sure your mum was with you last night. Whether or not you believe in and afterlife, your mum was there in your heart, because you were thinking of her.Amy said:And as I sat there I wondered, can mum see us, is she with us, is she smiling to see us sitting there in a row, waiting expectantly? Or is she simply gone? Not forgotten, but not yet remembered. Do we just move on, as though the past month has never happened - but now there is no need to go to the Nursing Home.
Helen, you will not let her go. This numbness is nature's protection mechanism, an anti-depressant without the side effects. Feeling will come back, once you are able to cope with it. And be prepared, when the pain returns, it will be intense. It will take a long time to ease.As the curtains closed at the cremation I thought 'No, I will not let you go'. I look at her picture and I feel nothing.
Don't worry about it, don't try to force your feelings. They will come back. I'm so pleased you managed to post.I dont know what I feel anymore.
You feel empty honey, thats a normal reaction, it gets better with time.I don't know what i feel anymore.
I would totally agree with Hazel, we find we are so busy coping ..............trying to fill the gap .............that we run from the grieving...............but no matter how far we run, it catches up.............usually when you've run out of steam.............and it hurts, but you'll get through it...............and you've got us here at TP when you need us.Feeling will come back, once you are able to cope with it. And be prepared, when the pain returns, it will be intense. It will take a long time to ease.
I sat with my father in the chapel of rest 5 days of on and I was happy to do that , but it did give me nightmares for a few years .I look at her picture and I feel nothing. For so long our relationship was me helping care for mum's physical needs, touching her hand, her hair, talking to her and getting no response - maybe that is why I was happy to sit with her in the Chapel of Rest.
with me I did not want to remember also .Not forgotten, but not yet remembered.
Hazel, I am not certain it will come back - cos I have dealt with the dementia by shutting out the past - not looking at old photographs, not remembering - dealing only with the present. Think I have become pretty good at it.
me also I became very good at it and to this day , as I read what you sayThink I have become pretty good at it
it took years for me to pick and choice to find those happy memories , I can bring them up into my mind feel like my father right with me , use to make me scared in case I would breakdown so chock up , so I Chose to block them , now it give me confront and that is 5 years onnot remembering