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Shocked but only slightly, par for the course maybe

White Rose

Registered User
Nov 4, 2018
627
It had been a nice day today, cycle ride in the morning while carer was here and then sitting in the garden in the sun this afternoon, himself sleeping and me enjoying the peace and quiet! He woke up and I went to get him a coffee, carried it back down the garden and ............... well he'd pooed on the grass!! I couldn't actually believe it but yes there it was and he'd stepped in it! I sat him back down, took the shoe and cleaned it off, gave him his coffee and then took him in for a shower, fortunately he'd managed not to get it all over his clothes so that was a small blessing. Luckily our garden is not overlooked so I don't think anyone could have seen him. If someone had told me 4 years ago (after diagnosis) that something like this would happen I wouldn't have believed them!
 

White Rose

Registered User
Nov 4, 2018
627
Also, there's no one you can tell is there, only other carers of PWD would understand, anyone else would be disgusted.
 

jugglingmum

Registered User
Jan 5, 2014
5,799
Chester
I remember another member having a similar issue, her husband at the time was still able to walk around the village, I think on his own. Unfortunately if he felt the need to go he was just stopping on his walks and depositing. It was a good few years ago so I can't remember the details.
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
283
It's amazing what we all take in our stride, and just get on and cope with, along the way!
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
12,596
South coast
Yes, I remember it well @jugglingmum . It was posted by a lady called jig jog. I searched for her, but she didnt apper to be on the system. Im wondering whether she has left.
 

Binsley

New member
Feb 24, 2020
4
Just dealt with something similar myself. I'm in the house when in comes husband mumbling something about his bowels. I tried to get him to the lol but he had already gone in his pants. Trying to get him to do the the best thing to get him undressed was dreadful and why don't I listen to him. Managed to clean him up and wash the clothes. Now he's in bed sulking and why don't I go away. There has been a s!ight change in his condition in the last few days and the current lockdown doesn't help.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
12,596
South coast
Ah, thank you @reedysue - Ive found the thread @jugglingmum
 

White Rose

Registered User
Nov 4, 2018
627
Ah, thank you @reedysue - Ive found the thread @jugglingmum
Thank you all, that is a really interesting thread, mortifying though what some carers of PWD have to go through. I think in our case this was hopefully just a one off because he was too far away from the toilet. We don't go for long walks anymore as it's too much for him and I make sure he goes to the toilet before we go out. Ironically before this happened I had been celebrating the lack of 'accidents'. Since he's not been going to the day care he's been a lot better, I'm not working because of Covid19 so I can monitor him more and make sure he doesn't forget to go to the toilet.
 

Cazzita

Registered User
May 12, 2018
558
Yes, its funny how we think we could never deal with this but then it happens and we just do somehow. Still a shock though. Take care x
 

White Rose

Registered User
Nov 4, 2018
627
Terrible day today. He went to downstairs toilet but pooed and weed on the floor instead of into the toilet bowl. Then an hour or so later was sitting outside and came in with wet trousers and the cushion on the chair all wet. What's going on, I don't know. He wanders around the house all day, wanting things to do but there's nothing he can do. He won't sit and watch a DVD or anything on TV. I can't get anything done in the house. Don't know how much longer I can deal with this .....but no choice as there are no care homes open!!
 

Thethirdmrsc

Registered User
Apr 4, 2018
163
Oh @White Rose i am sorry that you are going through this. I think I am about a year behind you with my OH, so I have not had too many toilet problems, all I get is the verbal abuse. You never know what each day brings, and each day itself is different. Mine does not understand the situation, so it’s a daily repeat. I wish you comfort though.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
12,596
South coast
Get him checked for an infection, but if its not it sounds like he can no longer remember where he is supposed to "go".
Some people have found a red toilet seat helps draw attention to the toilet as people with dementia often have trouble perceiving white things as they seem to disappear. Puppy traing pads on the floor might make it easier to clear up. You may find that you have to go in with him to direct him.
 

jenniferjean

Registered User
Apr 2, 2016
749
Basingstoke, Hampshire
Terrible day today. He went to downstairs toilet but pooed and weed on the floor instead of into the toilet bowl. Then an hour or so later was sitting outside and came in with wet trousers and the cushion on the chair all wet. What's going on, I don't know. He wanders around the house all day, wanting things to do but there's nothing he can do. He won't sit and watch a DVD or anything on TV. I can't get anything done in the house. Don't know how much longer I can deal with this .....but no choice as there are no care homes open!!
Definitely phone and speak to the doctor as it could be a UTI. Also see if the doctor can give him something to calm him down as he sounds rather anxious.
 

White Rose

Registered User
Nov 4, 2018
627
Thank you all for the advice. I will get him a GP appointment. He was checked for a UTI only a month ago and GP said there was nothing wrong. All they ever say is it's the dementia and there's nothing that can be done!
 

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