I suspect my mother has dementia in some form. My sister, who lives quite a way away has arranged for tests. My brother lives near to my mother and is trying to support her but he himself needs support for various reason. My best friend died from cancer 18 mos ago, my husband was diagnosed 8 mos ago and has ongoing treatment. I feel wiped out. I want to help my mother, I am 10 hours drive away and stressed out my mind but I WILL do all I can.. practicalities. I am going to see her afer not having seen her for over a year... i have been warned about what i will find ( and i have nursed geriatrics in the past so I am not totally naive- but this is my mother, its one thing coping with a stranger with dementia - quite another thing coping with someone so emotionally close). She refuses to go upstairs to wash because there are people living up there (there arent), she sits day and night in the same clothes and with her coat on. She can manage to ring her brother who she has not seen for months 'who was round last night with a black eye and she better check up on him'.. he says she sounds perfectly normal on the phone to her. She has had in home assessment, out of home assessment and a brain scan but we have yet to hear back about the results of any of them. I know this is a hill I climb as she falls ever lower down her hill but I feel I have to help. I am seriously considering bringing her back here. She'll have company at least but the rest of the family may resent it very much, given she is likely to detiorate further and further. I would like someone to say it will be alright but I know it won't. She is 82 and I cant let anyone suffer more than they have to if I can help it. Just I have coped with so much and am still giving support, but I cannot turn my back on her. I have no idea if i will get a response to this, I feel I am being totally selfish, I should have seen her before now, guilt enough.. but I am also very scared of what I will see when I vist.