She's gone, now waiting to see if my father has lasted the night

[SallyPotter]

Early yesterday morning I was awoken when a shadow went across the bedroom, the care home then called to say that my mother had passed away. I went to the care home with my cousin to see my father, he was bedridden,immobile unable to communicate and lying on his side looking so sad. Held his hand, gave him massive hugs, told him I loved him and sat with him a bit.
Last night at about 8 I had another call from the carehome to advise me that he was peaceful but breathing very shallowly and they were not sure if he would last the night. I'm exhausted, both emotionally and physically, my parents would never want me to suffer to much and this last 2 years has been so catastropic for us all so I said that I would call them this morning to 'touch base' I'm now waiting to make the call. I hope he has passed away for his sake, Grief is hard enough when you're 'compus mentus', when your unable to communicate together with the other afflictions of last stage AD it must be horrendous. I'm now waiting to make the call.
with love
Salx

 

[Izzy]

Oh Sally I'm so sorry to read your news. Your situation is absolutely tragic. You must be totally wiped out. Your poor dad too.

Your mum has found peace and I hope your dad finds peace soon.

Thinking of you at what must be the most difficult of times. x

 

[jeany123]

Oh Sally what a awful time for you and your family I am thinking of you,


Jeany

 

[Ann Mac]

I'm so sorry for your loss - such a heartbreaking post, can't imagine how hard the last few years have been for you.

I hope your Dad finds the peace that you wish for him soon too

Ann x

 

[DeborahBlythe]

I'm very sorry for your loss, Sally. Please take care of yourself. I'll be thinking of you and your dad and poor mum today. x

 

[Grannie G]

I`m so sorry Sally.

 

[Noorza]

We are here for you in spirit when you make the call. Do you have someone with you?

Such a difficult time, so hard to find words of comfort, just to let you know I am thinking of you and your family.

 

[SallyPotter]

No Noorza, I'm on my own, I'm supposed to be seeing the solicitor at 9 to get the process with my mother going, If he has gone I'll grab a friend, sit at the top of a hill and cry.
To be honest it would be a release for both me and him. Death is not the tragedy, its inevitable, the tragedy has been the disease and the implications it has caused for the last couple of years. I can't bear him suffering anymore
x

 

[rajahh]

No Noorza, I'm on my own, I'm supposed to be seeing the solicitor at 9 to get the process with my mother going, If he has gone I'll grab a friend, sit at the top of a hill and cry.
To be honest it would be a release for both me and him. Death is not the tragedy, its inevitable, the tragedy has been the disease and the implications it has caused for the last couple of years. I can't bear him suffering anymore
x

I send love Sally. Your words echo my own feelings perfectly. Thinking of you

 

[Noorza]

No Noorza, I'm on my own, I'm supposed to be seeing the solicitor at 9 to get the process with my mother going, If he has gone I'll grab a friend, sit at the top of a hill and cry.
To be honest it would be a release for both me and him. Death is not the tragedy, its inevitable, the tragedy has been the disease and the implications it has caused for the last couple of years. I can't bear him suffering anymore
x

So many of us here will understand that sadly Sally.

 

[elizabet]

Words cannot express how you must be feeling but holding you in thoughts at this very traumatic time for you.

 

[SallyPotter]

they're doing the meds round and will call me back, have cancelled the solicitors, not in a fit state to drive, need to sit on top of a hill as soon as I've spoken to them
x

 

[Noorza]

they're doing the meds round and will call me back, have cancelled the solicitors, not in a fit state to drive, need to sit on top of a hill as soon as I've spoken to them
x

If anything had happened to Dad I'm sure they would have called you. I think your hill will be a much needed place. Solicitors will come to your home too, so don't feel that you have to push yourself to get there.

 

[SallyPotter]

He's still alive and opening his eyes and smiling a bit, a hill would be a wonderful place, I need to compose myself so that i am ok to drive over and see him. I may cycle if thats too much of a risk. Not really sure what good news is. Its spring, season of rebirth, the daffs are inflower and everything being rejuivanated. We always loved the spring, this is not going to change a thing
x

 

[CollegeGirl]

I'm so very sorry that you and your dear dad are facing this, Sallypotter. Thinking of you both today xx

 

[Haylett]

Dear Sally, wishing you strength and comfort, and peace to your Mum and Dad.

 

[Witzend]

Dear Sally, wishing you strength and comfort, and peace to your Mum and Dad.

I can only echo that. What an overwhelmingly sad and difficult time for you. X

 

[Saffie]

I can't begin to imagine your devastation. I am so very sorry.
To have both parents with dementia at the same time is a tragedy but, although I know it is a release of sorts for them, it is still an ending for you too and, as such so dreadfully sad.
I hope your father does not suffer. xxx

 

[Jessbow]

What an awful place for you to be, I cant being to image how you feel.

Go to that hill, feel the wind blowing and gulp in the fresh air, Cry if that what you need to do.

Take care of yourself.

Will be thinking of you. x

 

[nicoise]

Dear Sally,

So sorry to hear your sad news of your Mum, even if it is finally peace for her.

Sending you strength to cope, and look after yourself - you can be on that hill in your head wherever you really are to give yourself a break from this difficult time, even if it's only for a few minutes.

It sounds as though you need to really take care of yourself and your mental and physical welfare too, so just take your time and don't overload yourself too much with "other" things, just do whatever has to be done x