She's FINE - so we the authorities don't need to do anything but YOU should...

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by JayGun, Oct 31, 2015.

  1. notsogooddtr

    notsogooddtr Registered User

    Jul 2, 2011
    806
    It's only when it stops that you realise how bad things were.I went through 12 months of sister terminally ill,Mum in and out of hospital,Dad in and out of hospital,never at the same time so visiting at times 2 people in different hospitals,cooking cleaning,laundry,shopping for the one at home plus when it was my Dad staying overnight as he couldn't be left.Drs at hospital recommended 24 hour care for him,SW dismissed this,said there was no funding,discharged home,fell broke hip,never walked again.He is now in a NH.Mum and my sister have died.I would never,ever do it again.I loved my parents dearly but the experience nearly killed me.
     
  2. Summerheather

    Summerheather Registered User

    Feb 22, 2015
    160
    After everything I've experienced with AD I will never judge those people that put their mum in respite care and then said, sorry, she's not coming back to the house and didn't go back to pick her up, even after being contacted by Social Services. I think when people get to that point it shows how much social care has failed those caring. I've just come from my Mum's room after taking her a cup of tea and a cake, she's busy packing 'to go and live with her mum and dad' and 'you can't stop me you *****'.
     
  3. Bassetlaw Badge

    Bassetlaw Badge Registered User

    Oct 30, 2012
    51
    I am in two minds reading this: one can completely relate to 50% of it - the other thinks 'is this how it's going to be?'.

    I agree with a lot of other comments. But would like to make another: Age UK and SAGA are two of the worst offenders when it comes to sending misleading unsolicited mail through the post. Currently sorting out doubled up insurance going back three years as a result. And they won't stop sending the letters...............

    In years to come our grandkids will be taught of this system that has failed so many just as we are taught about the Poor Law and Workhouses.
     
  4. Bassetlaw Badge

    Bassetlaw Badge Registered User

    Oct 30, 2012
    51
    Also, as an afterthought, I'd consider posting this on the Vascular Dementia Facebook page - it would be interesting to see what response it got on there....

    Such a profound and well written first hand account as this shouldn't go unnoticed.

    Sending huge hugs - and hope it was cathartic. Just left dad for today, but need to sort some of his paperwork out before bed. Up for work at 4.30..............
     
  5. JayGun

    JayGun Registered User

    Jun 24, 2013
    298
    Thank you so much for responding everybody. I am still having a torrid time with MIL and I'm still at the end of my tether but I feel better to have been heard and understood so thank you all.

    Our internet is playing up and neither of us can take a day to wait in for the engineer so I'm on 3G until the weekend when hopefully it will be fixed and I will be able to reply more fully.

    Bless you all. xx
     
  6. woodbrooklabs

    woodbrooklabs Registered User

    Aug 17, 2015
    45
    Hi Jaygun, your post sounds like a living hell. :-( Like the other poster said, I can identify with a few things, but a lot more to come my way.

    Complete nightmare. Not much I can say or advice I can offer as I am not yet at your stage. If your MIL is diagnosed, would it not be time for a CH to save your own sanity?xx
     
  7. patsy56

    patsy56 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2015
    840
    Fife Scotland
    sorry huggs
     

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