Hi All,
My Mum is 81, has dementia and has been in a care home for just over two months. I cared for her over two years at home 24/7. She was getting increasingly difficult and outside of the occasional agency visit, it was unrelenting. I was struggling. It was with a heavy heart that I had to find a care home.
Her reaction was such a surprise. I'm not sure how much she knows about it but she loves it. Please see my other posts for settling in. I thought I would write to let you know further.
I visit most days. Today I haven't and it makes me feel so guilty. I carry the phone with me (even going to the garage) in case they ring and Mum is upset or ill or...The truth is, she probably cannot tell one day from the next. She is always pleased to see me. She cries an won't let me go for the first couple of minutes. I confess it makes me cry too but I try not to show her. Not out of embarrassment but because she wouldn't understand.
They treat her very well. They are caring, attentive and are slowly evolving an activity programme. (The previous post holder left.) Mum helps with the quiz (how I'm not sure; the only name she knows is that of her favourite singer Josh Groban so she's already stumped on first question - 'What is your name?'), the bingo (she eats all the chocolate pieces) and the guest singer (not knowing the words but will readily wear the outsize comedy sunglasses).
They used to have an open bar before Mum got there. Hence the quote above. They have to dilute it, or as the Manager told me 'Heavily'.
I thought the other residents would upset her or worry her but she just tries to help. There is one woman Mum cannot stand and apparently the staff have had to stand between them as they trade insults but what the hell, that's life.
Mum is happy but why do I feel so sad?
My Mum is 81, has dementia and has been in a care home for just over two months. I cared for her over two years at home 24/7. She was getting increasingly difficult and outside of the occasional agency visit, it was unrelenting. I was struggling. It was with a heavy heart that I had to find a care home.
Her reaction was such a surprise. I'm not sure how much she knows about it but she loves it. Please see my other posts for settling in. I thought I would write to let you know further.
I visit most days. Today I haven't and it makes me feel so guilty. I carry the phone with me (even going to the garage) in case they ring and Mum is upset or ill or...The truth is, she probably cannot tell one day from the next. She is always pleased to see me. She cries an won't let me go for the first couple of minutes. I confess it makes me cry too but I try not to show her. Not out of embarrassment but because she wouldn't understand.
They treat her very well. They are caring, attentive and are slowly evolving an activity programme. (The previous post holder left.) Mum helps with the quiz (how I'm not sure; the only name she knows is that of her favourite singer Josh Groban so she's already stumped on first question - 'What is your name?'), the bingo (she eats all the chocolate pieces) and the guest singer (not knowing the words but will readily wear the outsize comedy sunglasses).
They used to have an open bar before Mum got there. Hence the quote above. They have to dilute it, or as the Manager told me 'Heavily'.
I thought the other residents would upset her or worry her but she just tries to help. There is one woman Mum cannot stand and apparently the staff have had to stand between them as they trade insults but what the hell, that's life.
Mum is happy but why do I feel so sad?
