Sharing the Caring

[Noorza]

Sharing the Caring
I was just wondering if anyone had tried to link up with other carers in their areas to give each other a bit of respite. It's just dawned on me there are many people who live near me who have differing caring needs from the physical to dementia.

I wonder what the legal ramifications if say two of us got together, one of us looked after both people with dementia for a couple of hours say, then the other returned the complement. Ok for two hours you have two people to care for but it would be a way of giving each other a break?

No money changing hands just two people in the same boat helping each other out.

Thoughts please?

 

[Izzy]

Hmmm. It certainly wouldn't be for me but that's just a personal view of course. I am, of course, lucky to have our Carers but if we didn't I don't think I would like the responsibly of sitting with someone else as well as my husband. I'm sure others will think differently.

 

[garnuft]

I would love it when it wasn't my turn ....me mother wouldn't hear of it.
I wish she would as she would enjoy talking to other people but she just.....

I don't know....I think her confidence is gone and she needs my sister or I to be with her for all social interactions.
Apart from her recent wanderings to the paper shop to accuse them of not delivering her papers, that is.

 

[jaymor]

By the time my husband reached the point where I needed respite (something I never had) he was as much as I could cope with and I would not have been able to manage another sufferer.

Before we reached this point I could not leave him at home because he wanted to be with me all the time so our daily outings were always together and though sometimes I would have loved to have had an hour to myself it really was not a problem.

It might work for others and would be great to be able to help each other but it is a big responsibility.


Jay

 

[Eternity]

Noorza,

Thanks for posting idea

Been meaning to respond for ages, but not getting 5 mins to - each time i sit down to TP, mum needs something!

In my head I'm always looking for an alternative before a care home has to be the option. I can never think what that could be.

I want something to go in stage 3 below. I'll have to think about your idea - maybe it could work or a variation of it.

1. I can cope on my own with mum

2. I can cope on my own with formal external help for mum

3. I can't cope at all with mum

4. I can cope with mum in care home

sorry if this makes no sense al all

x

 

[Noorza]

Noorza,

Thanks for posting idea

Been meaning to respond for ages, but not getting 5 mins to - each time i sit down to TP, mum needs something!

In my head I'm always looking for an alternative before a care home has to be the option. I can never think what that could be.

I want something to go in stage 3 below. I'll have to think about your idea - maybe it could work or a variation of it.

1. I can cope on my own with mum

2. I can cope on my own with formal external help for mum

3. I can't cope at all with mum

4. I can cope with mum in care home

sorry if this makes no sense al all

x

It makes sense, I can do 1-4 in 24 hours.

 

[Eternity]

Sorry about your mum's fall Noorza, I hope she is feeling ok today. Falls are so scary for all involved


Apologies for my post yesterday - think my head was somewhere else. I just get desperate for a solution/ideas for something between looking after mum at home and her going into a carehome

I do like your idea

x

 

[Noorza]

Sorry about your mum's fall Noorza, I hope she is feeling ok today. Falls are so scary for all involved


Apologies for my post yesterday - think my head was somewhere else. I just get desperate for a solution/ideas for something between looking after mum at home and her going into a carehome

I do like your idea

x

Don't apologise, I was appreciative that my ramblings were actually considered. Mum is devastated that she fell as she thought she'd finished with the falls, it's been a few weeks since the last one and at one point we were doing 3 a week. The ambulance lady was lovely and even dropped me at home as it was dark by the time she left (only 5 minutes up the road and she didn't have another call) It was still lovely of her though.

She said she could do call outs like ours all day long, nice family, nice maisonette, that made us both a little happier.

 

[Rageddy Anne]

I have a friend in the same position as me, and we'd love to share in the way you suggested, but nobody would be able to cope with both our husbands' current needs at the same time. The best we can do is nip out for a very quick coffee nearby; our husbands can both be left on their own, though not for long. Mine can phone me, but hers can't even manage that, so we're limited to about half an hour.

Everyone's Dementia is different, perhaps it would work for some whose charges are at different stages, or of different personalities. It's a really good idea.

 

[Eternity]

Don't apologise, I was appreciative that my ramblings were actually considered. Mum is devastated that she fell as she thought she'd finished with the falls, it's been a few weeks since the last one and at one point we were doing 3 a week. The ambulance lady was lovely and even dropped me at home as it was dark by the time she left (only 5 minutes up the road and she didn't have another call) It was still lovely of her though.

She said she could do call outs like ours all day long, nice family, nice maisonette, that made us both a little happier.

How lovely and kind of the ambulance lady.
My mum is a regular "faller" too. I always feel guilty calling them out as it's not life or death , but I can't lift my mum up off the floor any more and the ambulance crews like yours have always been so lovely and always say I should call them out and not to feel guilty about it. Three cheers for paramedics/ambulance crews!!

Just wish there was a way of stopping falls - other than me walking behind my mum all day and night!

 

[SueShell]

I have a hard enough job getting my Mum to accept the carers who come in 3 times a day let alone someone else coming into care for her. This wouldn't be for me either, enough stress and anxiety just looking after Mum. On the upside though, at least I'd have a witness, apart from myself, of how extremely short-fused, vicious and difficult my Mum is to care for!
Sue

 

[stillcaring]

I've tried to link up with a friend from church whose wife has dementia. It's worked occasionally but only if we can come up with some reason to explain the arrangement to my mum. My friend is a brilliant at fixing things and has done jobs for my mum while I look after his wife and my mum so he gets a break from watching his wife and some money and we get a good job done. We've been trying to fix up one of us taking the two of them out occasionally but his wife needs lots of warning and it takes ages to get her ready and my mum is unpredictable as to what she'll want to do so getting the two of them ready at once is a nightmare. Add to that the British weather and the fact that neither of them like anything involving being indoors anywhere other than their own homes and it just hasn't happened.