"Shared lives" arrangements....anyone else with experience of this?

[Skyrim]

My partner/friend and I operate a system based on the old "adult fostering" model in which his mum lives with me, and he remains in the family home. There are various reasons for this ( mother-son dynamics, easier for a female to undertake personal care and the psychologiacl plusses that the house is like her childhood one and she often thinks I'm her older sister). So, well thought of as a model of good practice by SSD and all has ticked along nicely until this year, when my dad died and the Care Act changes came in.
Not only do I work part -time, but I now have to trot 200 miles every six weeks to support my mum, so I'm pretty whacked and have little time with the partner. At the same time, the Care Act changes mean that my house is classed as the caree's main home, which means that her own home is pure capital and now she is self funding. We were getting some assistance with the day centre but no longer. Any respite will have to be paid for by the caree ( or me working extra hours) as her son puts in massive care time and exists on CA. She still has to maintain the costs of her own home as, if anything happened to me she would be homeless.
Financially we aren't exactly strapped but can't afford any extra help or respite. Any ideas??

 

[arielsmelody]

So your partner's mum lives with you and he lives in her house. He still supports her by caring for her in your house and his only income is carer's allowance, and you work part-time.

I'm sure you have reasons for organising things that way, but you are running two households on one part time wage and carer's allowance (and her pension?), which seems like a lot of expense. The obvious way to cut down would be for him to move in with you so that the second house could be sold? Or if your partner stopped claiming CA and looked for a job outside the home?

 

[Shedrech]

hello skyrim

I'm not sure, to be honest, what 'adult fostering' is, and what is SSD?

you seem to have your partner's mother living with you, presumably in a house you own and pay the bills for - does she make a contribution to the household expenses? and pay for anything that is entirely for her use/benefit?
while your partner lives in his mother's home - but is his mother still paying the household bills for her house? - strictly, if she no longer lives there she should not be paying for the house; whoever lives in the house is responsible for household bills and really his mother should be receiving a fair market rent, otherwise the financial arrangements are not in her best financial interests

it seems that you do the personal care for his mother, and have responsibility for her overnight - and that you work, part-time
so your partner comes to your house during the day to be her carer (if you work, presumably he does the personal care during the day?) - he goes back to his mother's house at night - he receives Carer's Allowance - he has no other income
so, overall, you pay for 2 houses on CA and your part-time earnings, yet you say you aren't financially strapped, & your partner's mother's finances - I'm concerned about your use of 'we' as regards finances; it's important to keep your partner's mother's finances separate from his and yours, and she should pay any fees for her care needs

you say that his mother did go to a day centre but no longer does - is there a reason for this? is it because his mother is self-funding? does she not receive Attendance Allowance to cover these costs?

you mention the Care Act which you think has caused your partner's mother to become self-funding - and this is a problem? I don't really understand why she hasn't been self-funding all along as she has income and assets over £23000 ie the house she no longer lives in

I think I must be missing something/misunderstanding

If you need more time to care for your mother, couldn't your partner's mother move back into her own home?
or could your partner move in with you and his mother and then rent out his mother's house to give her extra income?

 

[Skyrim]

Yes, well...I said it was complicated!

Thank you for responding....you have both raised some good points and the way in which this system works is that we kind of all pull together and operate as a team and this has worked really well...with SSD (Social Services) agreement. From the Social Workers' perspective, but not the financial team. The other house is seen as capital, true, but it isn't realiseable because, if anything happened to me, my children get my property (divorce settlement arrangement) and that would leave the others out on a limb.

My partners mum still goes to a day centre twice a week and, yes, she does contribute to anything she specifically needs for herself, but my ability to do the personal care bit is being stretched as she has become quite resistant to water and the changing of clothes so I feel I may need to get the professionals in to assist. More to the point at the moment is that partner and I haven't had a break in three years -the last time away from home was to support my mum with something and, yes again, partner's mum coverred the cost of her respite stay, but I Almost feel it immoral to charge her for a rotten experience when the perceived gain was us having a weekend away (of hard work and stress at the end of it).

If partner was to go out to work, yes, he would probably gain financially compare to CA, but most would be swallowed in extra care costs. He income is reasonable, but finite, and can only cover so much to meet her needs. Somewhere in the Care Act there is mention of "using discretion", considering alternatives to existing care models etc and I begin to wonder if this is being lost by my local authority as I'm not the only one locally where we are seeing highly stringent financial rules applied that seem to work against the choices of the carees. Incidentally, I work in the public sector and don't disagree with that principle but ours is a very economic model overall compared to the costs of residential care as, at best the LA would have to ask for deferred payment against her property if it wasn't completely disregarde at partner not only has a beneficial intererest but is also over 60.
The very strange thing is that, if she were to live in her own house, the LA would contribute but, her choice is that she prefers to be here. Its a complete conundrum.

 

[arielsmelody]

I was trying to find out a bit more about the 'shared lives' scheme because I hadn't heard about it before. Am I right in thinking that it's a paid 'fostering' arrangement where she is effectively in residential care but in your home rather than in a care home? How is that funded at the moment?

 

[Skyrim]

Shared Livez

Yes its replaced the old scheme wiphich mAinly dealth eith older peopl or thise with LD. The idea being they move into another person's home where they should be treatedd like a member of the family, or long term lodger. The foram scheme pYs the cRers a fixed wage, the caree may. Ontribute but will, as part of the family have some regular chores, depending on ability, or may need more sare support. The scheme now covers peope who are. Ulnera le and in need of that 1-1 support and affection you often
Dont find in residential or suppotted living, wherre staff may come and go.the benitifs are very peroalised care, genuine involvement with Extended family but professional suport on tap. Which something I don't get.
I have thought about going over to the scheme s it does guarntee realite cover within the home, so its great for continuity of care.

 

[arielsmelody]

Yes, I can see that the shared lives model could be great for someone who needs family-type support as an alternative to more formal residential care.

It doesn't sound from what you've said as if you are doing it officially though, just as a private arrangement between the three of you? That's probably why the system is confused about what's going on.

If your MIL went into official residential care, it sounds as if the capital in her house would be disregarded since she has a relative over 60 living there. But the LA would want her to contribute up to all but about £25 of her weekly pension towards her care, and they would only pay the difference between that amount and their upper limit on care fees which is often around £500 per week. She wouldn't be able to pay bills on her house and your partner would lose his CA.

Since she's not in official residential care but not living in her house either, she's in a strange half-way house. I'm sure it is best for her from a social point of view, but financially it seems like a very confused situation and unless you make it official I can see why the LA would be unhappy.

 

[Skyrim]

Shared lives and other ad hoc arrangements

Well, interestingly, a local councillor has contacted me to discuss this further. There appears to be a groundswell of opinion that the LA is ignoring the guidance on alternative models of care -on what grounds, I don't know. But it will be good to have his opinion.
Also, the Shared Lives official organisation have sanctioned the arrangement and I could look at the possibility of signing up with them, but I'd have to give up work and become their "employee"

All in all I guess I was hoping someone out thee was doing the same this as us and I could glean other spurces of advice. At the moment it seems a stark choice between financial advisors, who mainly look at wills and trusts and residential care or social care advisors, who ignore the financial aspect.

Truly a rock and a hard place! But thank you all for your comments.