Shame of Care Homes who dont care

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by SnowWhite, Sep 21, 2017.

  1. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Registered User

    Nov 18, 2016
    699
  2. Saffie

    Saffie Registered User

    Mar 26, 2011
    22,501
    Female
    Near Southampton
    It is soul- destroying to read this. We can never be in a home 24 hours a day and we trust those who are supposed to be caring people to treat our relatives in a respectful and kind manner.
    We know there are rogue carers but the the scale of this is terrifying.
     
  3. Scouts girl

    Scouts girl Registered User

    Jan 18, 2017
    308
    I am happy with the care my mum is receiving in her care home. She is now on end of life care so I was adamant with the manager that they would be able to give the specialised care and resources to look after my mum as she is now confined to bed and will need more one to one care. So far so good, but it still doesn't stop me from checking her bed, bathroom and making sure that she is clean and has adequate drinks by her bed each time I visit and I constantly ask the staff to check her care plan to reassure me that she has had a good night and in no distress. Am I being slightly over anxious about her care, no, I don't think so as when you read reports like this one I have to know that there is not a slightest worry about her care and I said previously no problem so far. It is just so heartbreaking for those patients who have no relatives to look out for them and it is those that could be most vulnerable to inadequate care.
     
  4. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,090
    Kent
    We all need to be vigilant .

    I was lucky enough to make a connection with a CQC inspector who was inspecting my husbands home while I was visiting. She gave me her phone number and email address and said if I had any concerns or heard of concerns about other homes in my locality she'd like me to contact her.

    Perhaps they are the people to contact rather than the LA
     
  5. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Registered User

    Nov 18, 2016
    699
    I looked at the CQC site Granny and it says they do not deal with individual complaints. However, I might copy my letter to county council and forward it to them.
     
  6. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Registered User

    Nov 18, 2016
    699
    On the surface, Mums home appeared good but stuff went on behind the scenes that Mum was telling me about and if I politely queried anything I was told it was her imagination.

    One day I went down a deserted corridor to fin a member of staff and I could hear a very angry voice telling an elderly lady to get off the toilet herself as "I'm not hurting my back for you." as I got closer I saw the backside of one staff member sticking out of the toilet door with another staff member behind her. The one at the back then saw me coming and jabbed her finger into the other ones backside and their whole tone changed to "come along then love, let's go and get you some tea."

    There were lots of occasions when Mum told me she had been spoken to rudely, laughed at or ignored or made to do things she didn't want to. She would have no reason to make up stuff like that.

    When Mum first went there they were falling over themselves to bring coffee and biscuits to her visitors but as my niece pointed out that all stopped after we had signed the contract and set up a standing order. If you asked for a coffee after that we were told "we'll see if we can find time" and often you didn't get one.
     
  7. Saffie

    Saffie Registered User

    Mar 26, 2011
    22,501
    Female
    Near Southampton
    I assumed that is whom you contacted before as this is the LA who should be notified.
    My husband was in an LA owned nursing home - by choice as it was the best I found of 14 or so I visited - and our LA was very responsive to any criticism of any kind. Not that I had any major issues though there was a problem concerning a resident soon after he arrived and the county Adult services were there immediately, holding meetings, speaking to residents and relatives, checking up on every little detail.
    I'm hope your letter brings results.
     
  8. Scouts girl

    Scouts girl Registered User

    Jan 18, 2017
    308
    I too, hope your letter brings results SnowWhite and do keep us informed of the outcome. It is good that you have made a connection with the CQC Grannie and that they have said you can contact them personally with any concerns you may have. I just find it so upsetting that poor care is still happening in our care homes and why do people commit to these jobs if they cannot give their unconditional care to our vulnerable loved ones. The pay they get is atrocious so why do it??

    If I had any concerns about the care mum was receiving and got no satisfaction from the management as to why it was happening I would be down on them like a ton of bricks and they wouldn't know what had hit them . Good luck SnowWhite, you are doing all you can for your mum, the home should be answerable for their actions and hope you have a favourable outcome for all your mums and your stress and upset when she was resident there.
     
  9. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Registered User

    Nov 18, 2016
    699
    #9 SnowWhite, Sep 22, 2017
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2017
    It is SO difficult Scoutsgirl because every time I mentioned a concern they blamed it on Mum. One day she was unhappy because the night before she said they'd given her a bath and the water was almost cold. She loves her bath and hates being cold. I mentioned this and they just said the water was as hot as usual and my Mum "is always complaining of being cold." now how the Manager knew that is beyond me as she wasn't even there the night before! It is very easy for them to blame everything on the residents dementia or forgetfulness but Mum really isn't that bad and knows hot from cold.
     
  10. Moggymad

    Moggymad Registered User

    May 12, 2017
    335
    Female
    Hi SnowWhite just asking how your mum is doing? Last I remember reading she was in hospital. Sorry if I missed any updates
     
  11. ellejay

    ellejay Registered User

    Jan 28, 2011
    4,014
    Essex
    It is very easy, I remember once saying I wanted to speak about some things of mums that had gone missing. I was given the stock answer "Oh, Ethel moves stuff and leaves it in others rooms"

    Problem was, what was missing was the table lamp (unlikely mum would have unplugged it ) and her tub armchair :eek: ( that, apparently, had been "put in a cupboard??" )

    It seems blaming the resident is the staffs default position :(

    Lin x
     
  12. Scouts girl

    Scouts girl Registered User

    Jan 18, 2017
    308
    Yes it is awful that they even blamed your mum for their actions and this should not be the case even if at times residents do forget what has happened the day or even a few hours before. The management and staff at the care home should have been completely supportive to you and profusely apologised if anything untoward had occurred during your mums care and should have reassured you that any concerns you had would be thoroughly investigated without any blame being put on your mum. It must have been so upsetting for you and I can only try and imagine how you must have felt. We do everything in our power to seek the best care possible for our relatives trying to come to terms with the guilt and heartbreak of having to make one of the worst decisions in our lives to move them into a care home and surely it is not too much to ask that they receive excellent care and love during their time there. Sending hugs to you and please let us hope that you receive some peace and reassurance with the outcome. Xxx
     
  13. Scouts girl

    Scouts girl Registered User

    Jan 18, 2017
    308
    Beggars belief!!
     
  14. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Registered User

    Nov 18, 2016
    699
    Thats spooky! Mum lost her table lamp too! I bought her one which you just touch on/off. One day it had gone and she said they told her it didn't work. I asked about it and said maybe it only needed a new bulb and they said they had tried that and it still wouldn't work. I found that hard to believe as it was quite an unusual size bulb and I don't think they would have had one kicking about. I said I could take it home and get my hubby to look at it and guess what, they couldn't find it so I had to buy her another one.

    Mum was given a couple of towels and they were as hard as rocks from being washed and probably dried on radiators. She had hundreds at home so I took her in some lovely new soft ones and they would NOT let her use them. Every time I put them in her room they were removed and replaced with the same old hard ones. They just had to feel they were in charge all the time. I even offered to take a big pile of new towels in for the other residents to use but they declined my offer.
     

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