Settling in problems...

[Sem86]

I moved my Grandmother into a Care Home at the beginning of March after my Grandfather (who was her primary carer) passed away. She has mid-stage Alzheimer's I would say. The care home is 2 minutes from my house, whereas where she lived before was an hour away, so she went into the Home with the promise of seeing me and her Grandson far more. She settled in brilliantly and then lockdown hit and obviously the promised visits couldn't happen. I had to take her mobile phone off her during lockdown as she was calling me 100+ times day and night which was disturbing her sleep and causing distress when I didn't answer.

For the last 6 weeks I have been able to visit in the garden / through windows and have seen a steady decline in her mood - she started very excited and now appears very down every time I see her. She believes she has been sent to a "Workhouse" and hates the work, is shouting at other residents that they are stealing her money and identity and also that I am 11 years old and have been taken from her (I am nearly 35). Unfortunately I am the only family member that can visit (her sisters live in a Care Home in Scotland - we are in England).

Obviously a lot of this is her dementia, I understand that entirely, and the lockdown situation has perhaps made things worse for her, but I am not sure what to do. I have left her with the "task" of drawing a picture for my son and starting to knit a blanket for my little girl who is due in November - both of which her key carer is going to support and help with.

The home have been fantastic and supportive, but it's heartbreaking to see my Gran so upset and down...

 

[Canadian Joanne]

It is heartbreaking to see such a thing. But you should also remember that a person going into care can appear to decline quite a bit, when in actuality the move itself cruelly shows up the failings of the PWD, as they are no longer in a familiar situation where they can 'fake it' as it were.

I think you giving her tasks is a very good idea. I can only hope that soon you will be able to visit.

 

[lemonbalm]

Hello @Sem86 . I would ask the care home manager to arrange a med's review for your Grandmother. They tend to use medication as a last resort but a low dose anti-depressant may be enough to lift your Grandmother's mood. I'd also see if they can do urine and blood tests just to see if there is anything else she may need or there is something which needs addressing. I think it is all too easy for care homes to assume that everything is down to the dementia when often there is a physical explanation for change.

My mum has been in care for three years and has needed regular tweaks in medication. She has never really settled well (to put it mildly) but has had some, and I hope will have many more, happy times which I think she would never have had if it weren't for these regular tweaks. I do have to ask for them sometime though.

It sounds as though your Grandmother is in a really good home and you obviously care very much for her. I'm sure they will welcome any suggestions to make her as happy as possible.

Good luck.