Áine said:
Dad has spent most of today asleep on his bed ..... which the carer described as him having had "a good day".
My gut reaction to your post was 'For whom was it a good day?' I sense, but quite happy to be wrong, that that is your concern here.
Very different circumstances just now for your dad/my mum, I know, but I am aware since Diazepam was stopped mum has become , shall we say, a 'lot more lively' again. Truth, that makes it a lot more difficult for me as a carer.... a few weeks ago I could trust I could prompt her (by phone early morning) to take her tablets, know she would dress in however long it took her, and that then she would be exhausted and sleep in front of the TV until I finished work and arrived lunch time....
Now she doesn't sleep all morning - still naps throughout the day, mostly 'forty-winks' style, - even when I am talking to her at times
..... but the anxiety and agitation (for which Diazepam was first prescribed by GP before the alarm bells rang about her memory) have returned. In some ways, I find it harder to manage (including her calling me at work every time she sees a squirrel in the garden or to let me know the postman walked past and she didn't have a letter). But yes, I like to know that there is SOMETHING that matters to her instead of dozing in a chair for hours until she gets some stimulation to motivate her into something, anything.....
Aine, you probably won't like what I am saying but I say this for you - and indeed for me - when I know difficult choices will no doubt have to be made at some point..... are you happy about where your dad is?
I know from a recent post you are at the point of exhaustion visiting when you should be able to go to work, get home and find some time for yourself knowing dad is well looked after. Are you pushing yourself so much because there is some inner sense which tells you things are not quite as right as they could be? Would it be worth taking a step back, a little bit of 'time-out' to see if there are alternatives which might suit both you and your dad better? Or even to evaluate that where he is now IS the right place and gain some kind of acceptance or closure for your own sake?
You don't strike me as the kinda girl to give up!!! Nor will you allow your dad to! You set an example!
Hugest hugs, Karen, x