1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    1,807
    Ireland
    I would appreciate help on this idea. T in respite this week. Am thinking about moving him into a separate bedroom when he comes home on Monday. Very restless during nights. Not really sure what to do.

    Aisling ( Ireland)
     
  2. Scarlett123

    Scarlett123 Registered User

    Apr 30, 2013
    3,802
    Essex
    I found it was less unsettling for John if I was the one that moved. I'd spent about 5 years anyway, clinging to the edge of our king sized bed, because he would thrash about so much, so I went for the comfort of the single bed in the next room.

    That worked for a few years, till he started late night "cooking". This involved lighting the gas cooker and then putting a tea towel on it. :eek: After this happened a couple of times, I started sleeping on a 2 seater settee, opposite the kitchen door, because when John put the kitchen light on, it would wake me, and avoid a fire.

    I spent 2 years on that settee, and only managed to get used to a bed again about 4 months ago!
     
  3. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    1,807
    Ireland
    Thank you Scarlett.
    Aisling (Ireland )
     
  4. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,853
    Female
    Scotland
    I would love to move into a spare room but John misses me although he would never say so. Stoic Scot to the end! If I sleep in another room he comes looking for me if he wakes up whereas in the same room I can take decisions - anti itch cream, paracetamol, drink of water, instruction to go back to sleep said in firm schoolteachery voice - whatever it takes. In the long run it is easier to stay where I am.
     
  5. bemused1

    bemused1 Registered User

    Mar 4, 2012
    3,403
    We have my husband in the living room with double interconnecting doors to the bedroom also a video baby monitor. He is in a hospital bed with a ceiling hoist so it was the best use of space.
     
  6. Trisha4

    Trisha4 Registered User

    Jan 16, 2014
    2,442
    Yorkshire
    Hi Aisling. I keep a bed made up in the spare room for nights when Mick is particularly restless or mutters a lot. He would find it much more unsettling to be in a different room so I go to the spare bed when needed. I guess it depends on the stage your husband is at and how familiar his room is to him when he returns from respite. Whatever you decide I hope it works out.


    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
     
  7. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    1,807
    Ireland
    Talking point is brilliant. Thank you for sharing with me.

    Aisling ( Ireland )
     
  8. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    1,807
    Ireland
    Thank you. That is a good idea.

    Aisling ( Ireland )
     
  9. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    11,713
    Female
    London
    OH has been on the sofa bed as long as I can remember. Thank god, because now he is incontinent!
     
  10. Jinx

    Jinx Registered User

    Mar 13, 2014
    2,333
    Pontypool
    I moved out of 'our' bedroom into the room next door because my husband had COPD and his heavy breathing and snoring kept me awake. I still heard him when he got up so could help him to the bathroom etc in the night (he never remembered that he'd had to get up and as far as he was concerned he always had a very good night). He wasn't too happy about it so, rather than say it was him, I said that I was worried I was disturbing him because I had to get up in the night to wee and let the dog out (you probably don't have that excuse!) and he agreed that it did disturb him. It took a while to get used to sleeping alone but eventually it was a big improvement. Hope it works for you and you get more rest. xxxxx


    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
     
  11. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    1,807
    Ireland
    Hi Jinx,
    Thank you. I am going to try your approach. Talking point is brilliant. Great to have support.

    Aisling ( Ireland)
     
  12. Caz60

    Caz60 Registered User

    Jul 24, 2014
    252
    Lancashire
    Hi Aisling,

    This is also a problem for us so after much thought the best option that works in our situation is a single bed directly next to our double bed .My hubby is in the single and has adapted very well .We are kind of still together but at least I get a restful sleep and am not worried about him in the night .Yes it is a bit of a tight fit but the single is on wheels and is easily moved for cleaning underneath.Its just another option.xxxx
     
  13. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    1,807
    Ireland
    Thank you. I have a measuring tape out now!! I could still have my electric blanket and T has his hot water bottle. He really feels the cold.

    Aisling ( Ireland)
     
  14. Scarlett123

    Scarlett123 Registered User

    Apr 30, 2013
    3,802
    Essex
    This rang such a bell with me, cos John too had COPD, with a snoring decibel to wake the dead. He also had sleep apnoeia (not sure about spelling), and would fling himself about so much, and have such violent dreams. I once woke to find him trying to strangle me, because he thought I was an enemy soldier that he'd been dreaming about! :eek:

    We can all only do what works best for us in our own individual cases.
     
  15. Jinx

    Jinx Registered User

    Mar 13, 2014
    2,333
    Pontypool
    Bernard used to have violent dreams too, well before COPD or dementia. He was usually fighting someone who had attacked him and would start making horrible wailing noises and then kick out. I sustained a few bruises!


    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
     
  16. Lawson58

    Lawson58 Registered User

    Long before OH was diagnosed with AD, we moved into separate bedrooms.

    OH complained that I snored and he used to disturb me many times a night by getting up to go to the toilet. He also used to have severe night sweats so would need to change his pyjamas a few times each night. Neither of us had adequate sleep so it just seemed the sensible thing to do.

    He also likes to have the dog sleep on the bed which I hate and I believe her presence reassures him. We live in what English people call a bungalow so everything is all on the one level and our bedroom doors are opposite each which works well.

    Just remember that you need your rest too and this needs to be a consideration in whatever you decide.
     

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