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Separate bedroom

Aisling

Registered User
Dec 5, 2015
1,806
Ireland
I would appreciate help on this idea. T in respite this week. Am thinking about moving him into a separate bedroom when he comes home on Monday. Very restless during nights. Not really sure what to do.

Aisling ( Ireland)
 

Scarlett123

Registered User
Apr 30, 2013
3,802
Essex
I would appreciate help on this idea. T in respite this week. Am thinking about moving him into a separate bedroom when he comes home on Monday. Very restless during nights. Not really sure what to do.

Aisling ( Ireland)
I found it was less unsettling for John if I was the one that moved. I'd spent about 5 years anyway, clinging to the edge of our king sized bed, because he would thrash about so much, so I went for the comfort of the single bed in the next room.

That worked for a few years, till he started late night "cooking". This involved lighting the gas cooker and then putting a tea towel on it. :eek: After this happened a couple of times, I started sleeping on a 2 seater settee, opposite the kitchen door, because when John put the kitchen light on, it would wake me, and avoid a fire.

I spent 2 years on that settee, and only managed to get used to a bed again about 4 months ago!
 

Aisling

Registered User
Dec 5, 2015
1,806
Ireland
I found it was less unsettling for John if I was the one that moved. I'd spent about 5 years anyway, clinging to the edge of our king sized bed, because he would thrash about so much, so I went for the comfort of the single bed in the next room.

That worked for a few years, till he started late night "cooking". This involved lighting the gas cooker and then putting a tea towel on it. :eek: After this happened a couple of times, I started sleeping on a 2 seater settee, opposite the kitchen door, because when John put the kitchen light on, it would wake me, and avoid a fire.

I spent 2 years on that settee, and only managed to get used to a bed again about 4 months ago!
Thank you Scarlett.
Aisling (Ireland )
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,097
Scotland
I would love to move into a spare room but John misses me although he would never say so. Stoic Scot to the end! If I sleep in another room he comes looking for me if he wakes up whereas in the same room I can take decisions - anti itch cream, paracetamol, drink of water, instruction to go back to sleep said in firm schoolteachery voice - whatever it takes. In the long run it is easier to stay where I am.
 

bemused1

Registered User
Mar 4, 2012
3,402
We have my husband in the living room with double interconnecting doors to the bedroom also a video baby monitor. He is in a hospital bed with a ceiling hoist so it was the best use of space.
 

Trisha4

Registered User
Jan 16, 2014
2,440
Yorkshire
I would appreciate help on this idea. T in respite this week. Am thinking about moving him into a separate bedroom when he comes home on Monday. Very restless during nights. Not really sure what to do.

Aisling ( Ireland)
Hi Aisling. I keep a bed made up in the spare room for nights when Mick is particularly restless or mutters a lot. He would find it much more unsettling to be in a different room so I go to the spare bed when needed. I guess it depends on the stage your husband is at and how familiar his room is to him when he returns from respite. Whatever you decide I hope it works out.


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Aisling

Registered User
Dec 5, 2015
1,806
Ireland
I would love to move into a spare room but John misses me although he would never say so. Stoic Scot to the end! If I sleep in another room he comes looking for me if he wakes up whereas in the same room I can take decisions - anti itch cream, paracetamol, drink of water, instruction to go back to sleep said in firm schoolteachery voice - whatever it takes. In the long run it is easier to stay where I am.
Talking point is brilliant. Thank you for sharing with me.

Aisling ( Ireland )
 

Aisling

Registered User
Dec 5, 2015
1,806
Ireland
Hi Aisling. I keep a bed made up in the spare room for nights when Mick is particularly restless or mutters a lot. He would find it much more unsettling to be in a different room so I go to the spare bed when needed. I guess it depends on the stage your husband is at and how familiar his room is to him when he returns from respite. Whatever you decide I hope it works out.


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Thank you. That is a good idea.

Aisling ( Ireland )
 

Beate

Registered User
May 21, 2014
11,985
London
OH has been on the sofa bed as long as I can remember. Thank god, because now he is incontinent!
 

Jinx

Registered User
Mar 13, 2014
2,333
Pontypool
I moved out of 'our' bedroom into the room next door because my husband had COPD and his heavy breathing and snoring kept me awake. I still heard him when he got up so could help him to the bathroom etc in the night (he never remembered that he'd had to get up and as far as he was concerned he always had a very good night). He wasn't too happy about it so, rather than say it was him, I said that I was worried I was disturbing him because I had to get up in the night to wee and let the dog out (you probably don't have that excuse!) and he agreed that it did disturb him. It took a while to get used to sleeping alone but eventually it was a big improvement. Hope it works for you and you get more rest. xxxxx


Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
 

Aisling

Registered User
Dec 5, 2015
1,806
Ireland
I moved out of 'our' bedroom into the room next door because my husband had COPD and his heavy breathing and snoring kept me awake. I still heard him when he got up so could help him to the bathroom etc in the night (he never remembered that he'd had to get up and as far as he was concerned he always had a very good night). He wasn't too happy about it so, rather than say it was him, I said that I was worried I was disturbing him because I had to get up in the night to wee and let the dog out (you probably don't have that excuse!) and he agreed that it did disturb him. It took a while to get used to sleeping alone but eventually it was a big improvement. Hope it works for you and you get more rest. xxxxx


Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
Hi Jinx,
Thank you. I am going to try your approach. Talking point is brilliant. Great to have support.

Aisling ( Ireland)
 

Caz60

Registered User
Jul 24, 2014
253
Lancashire
Hi Aisling,

This is also a problem for us so after much thought the best option that works in our situation is a single bed directly next to our double bed .My hubby is in the single and has adapted very well .We are kind of still together but at least I get a restful sleep and am not worried about him in the night .Yes it is a bit of a tight fit but the single is on wheels and is easily moved for cleaning underneath.Its just another option.xxxx
 

Aisling

Registered User
Dec 5, 2015
1,806
Ireland
Hi Aisling,

This is also a problem for us so after much thought the best option that works in our situation is a single bed directly next to our double bed .My hubby is in the single and has adapted very well .We are kind of still together but at least I get a restful sleep and am not worried about him in the night .Yes it is a bit of a tight fit but the single is on wheels and is easily moved for cleaning underneath.Its just another option.xxxx
Thank you. I have a measuring tape out now!! I could still have my electric blanket and T has his hot water bottle. He really feels the cold.

Aisling ( Ireland)
 

Scarlett123

Registered User
Apr 30, 2013
3,802
Essex
I moved out of 'our' bedroom into the room next door because my husband had COPD and his heavy breathing and snoring kept me awake. I still heard him when he got up so could help him to the bathroom etc in the night (he never remembered that he'd had to get up and as far as he was concerned he always had a very good night). He wasn't too happy about it so, rather than say it was him, I said that I was worried I was disturbing him because I had to get up in the night to wee and let the dog out (you probably don't have that excuse!) and he agreed that it did disturb him. It took a while to get used to sleeping alone but eventually it was a big improvement. Hope it works for you and you get more rest. xxxxx


Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
This rang such a bell with me, cos John too had COPD, with a snoring decibel to wake the dead. He also had sleep apnoeia (not sure about spelling), and would fling himself about so much, and have such violent dreams. I once woke to find him trying to strangle me, because he thought I was an enemy soldier that he'd been dreaming about! :eek:

We can all only do what works best for us in our own individual cases.
 

Jinx

Registered User
Mar 13, 2014
2,333
Pontypool
This rang such a bell with me, cos John too had COPD, with a snoring decibel to wake the dead. He also had sleep apnoeia (not sure about spelling), and would fling himself about so much, and have such violent dreams. I once woke to find him trying to strangle me, because he thought I was an enemy soldier that he'd been dreaming about! :eek:

We can all only do what works best for us in our own individual cases.
Bernard used to have violent dreams too, well before COPD or dementia. He was usually fighting someone who had attacked him and would start making horrible wailing noises and then kick out. I sustained a few bruises!


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Lawson58

Registered User
Aug 1, 2014
2,165
Victoria, Australia
Long before OH was diagnosed with AD, we moved into separate bedrooms.

OH complained that I snored and he used to disturb me many times a night by getting up to go to the toilet. He also used to have severe night sweats so would need to change his pyjamas a few times each night. Neither of us had adequate sleep so it just seemed the sensible thing to do.

He also likes to have the dog sleep on the bed which I hate and I believe her presence reassures him. We live in what English people call a bungalow so everything is all on the one level and our bedroom doors are opposite each which works well.

Just remember that you need your rest too and this needs to be a consideration in whatever you decide.