Sending parent to care home in Eastern Europe

[Suffolk]

Hi. I am looking into the feasibility of putting my mother (who is a British Citizen) into a care home in Eastern Europe to save money on the ridiculous expense of UK care homes.

Does anyone have any experience of this? I heard it’s popular in German to move old people to care homes in Poland where the care is cheaper and better than in Germany.

Would love to hear from anyone who has some insight into this.

 

[nitram]

A problem is likely to be that, as the UK is a Third Country, stays in the Schengen area are limited to 90 days in any 180 days.

 

[try again]

I'd worry about language and cultural barriers . Dementia is difficult enough, though I guess it depends on what stage PWD is at.

 

[Scarlet Lady]

Hello, @Suffolk . Welcome to TP. I’m curious. Does your mum live in the U.K. now or is she abroad? If you were to move her to a care home abroad, would she have family support there? A little more background would be helpful in soliciting an opinion from the forum.

 

[Jaded'n'faded]

Cheaper AND better? Are you certain about that?

 

[canary]

How easy would it be to visit her there?

If she were in a care home in UK and her money ran out then SS would pay care home fees. I doubt this would happen in another country.

 

[Suffolk]

Hello, @Suffolk . Welcome to TP. I’m curious. Does your mum live in the U.K. now or is she abroad? If you were to move her to a care home abroad, would she have family support there? A little more background would be helpful in soliciting an opinion from the forum.

Hi Scarlet Lady. At present she lives in England. I view putting her in a home abroad as an option once the medication stops working and she no longer recognizes me and everyone else in her family

 

[Lawson58]

Hi Scarlet Lady. At present she lives in England. I view putting her in a home abroad as an option once the medication stops working and she no longer recognizes me and everyone else in her family

Have you considered the cost of getting your mother over there? I think you might find the cost of a medical transfer quite steep.

Also, perhaps she might not recognise you and the family, but how are you going to feel not being able to see her and be with her as she ends her life?

 

[Scarlet Lady]

You haven’t given us any details of how far down the dementia road your mum has gone, Suffolk. It’s possible she may never reach a point at which she no longer recognises her family, particularly those she sees regularly. One of the most frustrating things about dementia is that it’s often impossible to predict what may happen next.
Apart from the practical difficulties of moving her, have you thought about how she will feel if she’s uprooted to a totally unfamiliar place where no one may even speak her language? ( I appreciate that if she is of Eastern European origin, that last bit may not apply). Even if she does reach the stage where she doesn’t recognise you in terms of who you are, she will still know that you are a person of significance in her life if you are her primary carer. To be removed from everyone and everything familiar would be massively distressing for her.

 

[canary]

At present she lives in England. I view putting her in a home abroad as an option once the medication stops working and she no longer recognizes me and everyone else in her family

My mum recognised me right up to the end - she also recognised several other significant people up to the end. She may not have always remembered my name and sometimes family relationships confused her, but her face would light up every time she saw me. It is not inevitable that she will stop recognising you. I could not have considered not visiting mum and not being with her at the end, even if she didnt recognise me, though.

It is also important that you visit so that you can keep an eye of her welfare, check that the care home is doing its job and can cope with her dementia (not all of them can, despite what they may advertise on their website). You will also probably have to buy toiletries, replace clothes and sort out other things as necessary. You cant just place someone in a care home and never visit. I do hope that you are not considering this as a cost cutting exercise so that you can maintain "your inheritance"

 

[Jessbow]

I didnt reply to thislast night, because honestly, I was stunned.

So you'll take her abroad because its cheaper. .......

You dont see that happening until she doesnt recgnise you....so what? there will be no point in seeing her anymore?

How will you pay for the medical transfer, never mind the reptriatin once she shuffles off? Or will you just leave her there?

I have never ever heard of anyone doing this- You say its cheaper- itmight be, and the care is better- my mothers care was second to none. With you hundreds of miles away, who will actually care and look out for her?

 

[SeaSwallow]

@Suffolk I really do not think that it would be a good idea. How would you ensure that the ongoing care received by your mum would be satisfactory, if she was in a nursing home in the UK you would be able to keep an eye on that. Also as has been said even when a PWD reaches the later stages they quite often deep down know who their family are and she could feel totally abandoned. Then there are the issues of language, medications and even cultural differences.

 

[My Mum's Daughter]

I assume that you'd be using POA to move your Mum however, an attorney has a duty to act in the donor's best interest. I've really thought hard about this and perhaps I'm missing something but, I can't find a single reason as to how moving your Mum, a 1,000 miles away, is acting in her best interest.

 

[update2020]

The whole issue of ‘recognition’ is more complicated. It’s not a binary of now they do and now they don’t. My husband both did and didn’t recognise me and others right up to the very end.

 

[nitram]

@Suffolk
Do you have a specific country with relatives living there in mind?

 

[DreamsAreReal]

Does anyone have any experience of this? I heard it’s popular in German to move old people to care homes in Poland where the care is cheaper and better than in Germany.

Would love to hear from anyone who has some insight into this.

OP, I don't think you'll find anyone on here who has direct experience of this. Have you tried asking on the MSE forum?

I'd never heard of this, so had to Google it. There was a piece in The Guardian in 2012 on the subject, saying increasing numbers of elderly Germans are being placed in homes in E. Europe and Asia to save costs. So that was ten years ago, don't know if it's still popular now. There was also a more academic article saying that the richer countries should start doing this to solve the care crisis(!)

If you're elderly and decide to live in a care home abroad, that's fine. Putting a person with dementia in a foreign care home is a very different thing. It would be cruelty, IMO.

 

[nitram]

I'd never heard of this, so had to Google it

Like this?

elderly Germans are being placed in homes in E. Europe and Asia to save costs. - Google Search

 

[Helly68]

On a slightly different tack, my sister and her family live in a suburb of Paris. A dementia care home was being built near them, and we did consider whether this might be an option for my Mum (who was in the UK).
No Brexit then, so things might have been easier. We never investigated any further as we felt she would not have coped with the language change and move, even with my sister's family on hand. I think my sister mentioned it as she felt being abroad, a lot was falling on me, and we wanted to explore every avenue.
To be honest, I think it would have been too much of an upheaval for my Mum. We didin't pursue it any further.

 

[Cat27]

This thread has been closed as it is no longer constructive.

 

[Shedrech]

Hello @Suffolk
welcome to DTP

I wonder whether your family are aware that payment for your mother's care fees (either for care at home or residential care) should only come from her own funds .... any payments by other family members (eg third party top-ups) are completely discretionary

When her funds reach a certain level, the Local Authority begin to contribute ... also, the LA must offer at least one residential placement that fully meets your mother's needs and would not require any top-up

further information is here:

Paying for dementia care in England

Dementia care isn't free, and you may need to pay for some of the care you or someone you know needs. We help you understand the different ways to pay for care, and the amount you might be expected to pay.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

If you haven't already, look into Attendance Allowance, which is not means tested ... when that is in place, also look at applying for a disregard of Council Tax

Attendance Allowance claim form

Use the Attendance Allowance claim form to apply for financial help for your personal care if you're disabled and State Pension age or older.

www.gov.uk