I often read others' posts about the sort of difficulties they are experiencing and I am very aware that I don't have to clean up after an incontinence episode and I don't have to shower my husband, that I don't have to feed him or wash copious amounts of bedding, that he goes out and I can have a couple of hours on my own. And then for a few moments I berate myself for complaining about my life. But I have learned to forgive myself for thinking like that. It's just that my problems are different and are complicated by his other health issues, his cardiac arrest at home when I resuscitated him and the months of recovery, the hernia and prostate surgeries, the nose bleeds that were severe enough to put him in hospital, the internal bleeds, the cellulitis, the dermatitis, the extensive dental care, all topped off by his paranoia and self obsession. And then the normal household things still have to be done. The problems may be different but they take their toll on us just like everybody else.