I often read others' posts about the sort of difficulties they are experiencing and I am very aware that I don't have to clean up after an incontinence episode and I don't have to shower my husband, that I don't have to feed him or wash copious amounts of bedding, that he goes out and I can have a couple of hours on my own. And then for a few moments I berate myself for complaining about my life.@Lawson58 and @canary, I can’t believe what you’ve written! My husband has been so slow ‘progressing’ I occasionally wonder if they got it wrong - till something happens of course which makes me realise that yes, he does have a problem. Now I’ve found that other people have exactly the same experience. What a relief!
My OH has always done well in the MMSE, of course he can remember 3 facts, and of course he can tell you who the PM is and what building he’s in etc. He does this with such a look of smug condescension too that I feel murderous!
Exactly as you’ve said @Lawson58, it was a neuropsychologist doing tests with him that showed his cognitive skills had gone down in various areas. I was allowed to sit in with him discreetly in the background and things which I’d thought he’d have no difficulty with, a geometric drawing for example, he found difficult. I could see for myself that he had increasing problems in various areas that he masks extremely well in normal everyday activities.
We then moved and in this area, it’s a different system. No regular neuropsychological testing. No regular checks. They agreed with the diagnosis and then we were left to get on with it. I suppose one could say that the tests are of no value other than to prove his skills are decreasing in certain areas but at least we would have known what I was trying to deal with rather than leaving me to note things down then do research (or come here) to see if this is what is usual and what any problem indicates.
He can problem solve depending on what it is but there are times when he just can’t grasp a situation. I also notice that if he attempts to do anything of a practical nature he’s nowhere near as painstaking as he used to be. Thank heavens I’ve found you lot who are experiencing similar.
But I have learned to forgive myself for thinking like that. It's just that my problems are different and are complicated by his other health issues, his cardiac arrest at home when I resuscitated him and the months of recovery, the hernia and prostate surgeries, the nose bleeds that were severe enough to put him in hospital, the internal bleeds, the cellulitis, the dermatitis, the extensive dental care, all topped off by his paranoia and self obsession. And then the normal household things still have to be done.
The problems may be different but they take their toll on us just like everybody else.