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See you later, mam xx

Katie Malarkey

Registered User
Mar 29, 2008
Yesterday at 6.20am, my lovely mam finally died after suffering from Vascular Dementia for many years. Just a couple of day's ago, I'd told her it was ok to go - not to keep hanging on just for me, because I'd be fine and she'd done more than enough fighting.

I'm extremely grateful to Citybythesea's posting of 'When death is near' - it made complete sence to me that I had to actually tell mam that although I'd miss her, I was willing to let her move on because I loved her so much. When she did let go, I told her I'd "see her later" as I alway's had, every night.

She was the most loving, caring mam and there'll be a big empty space in my life that she used to occupy, but I'll attempt to keep the promise I made to her about being ok if she went on her way.

Thankyou to TP members for your support, I know you'll help me with this!

Love Katie x

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Oh Katie, I`m so sorry.

Your posting of your mother`s death is a brave and unselfish post. You were thinking of her before yourself all the time.

Please stay with Talking Point. There will always be support and understanding here for you.

Love xx


Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
So sorry about your mum Katie....I think reassuring her that you would be ok will have given her peace in her dying.
Take care...
Love Helen


Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
Dear Katie

So sorry to hear about your mum.

You must be feeling terrible today, but I hope you can take comfort in the fact that you gave her such a peaceful passing. You showed her how much you loved her in the only way you could, and she must have felt warm and comforted by your words.

Please stay with us, and let us comfort you now.



Registered User
Apr 12, 2008
thats so good of you
im not sure if i'd be able to do the same, and you sound like a wonderful brave person
take care

Katie Malarkey

Registered User
Mar 29, 2008
Thankyou so very much everyone for your kindness (don't know about being brave!).

Her funeral's tomorrow, I wrote some notes about her life for the priest to read out....how she had been a talented singer - even singing to entertain the other residents in her nursing home in the early years of her being there, bless her. I hope I've done her justice in the few words I've given him - I will miss her so much.

Thankyou again

The song is ended, but the melody lingers on......


Registered User
Jun 6, 2008
So sorry for your loss and I hope you stay strong for your mam.Remember your mam has gone to a better place but she will allways be there with you.Take care..Tony.xxx


Registered User
Aug 18, 2006
Dear Katie.....

.... you "hope you have done her justice"? Katie you HAVE done her justice in the warmth of your words the hope in your heart, and every time you look in the mirror knowing you are a living part of her, and that the love and tenderness you now offer others is a testiment to the love she taught you.

Tender thoughts at this sad time



Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
I just want to add my condolences at this sad time.

There is no doubt at all that you have done justice to your Mum -she would be extremely proud of you. In you, the melody lingers on.
My thoughts will be with you tomorrow and I do hope you can use TP as when you need comfort and support.



Registered User
Aug 9, 2007
Hi Katie

You have done exactly the right thing for your Mum. You will miss her. The sadness does linger but there can be joy in life too.

Wishing you strength for tomorrow.




Account Closed
Nov 23, 2007
Dear Katie

We are both so sorry to hear about your Mam.
We send our love at this sad time for you.
Barb & Ron XXX

Katie Malarkey

Registered User
Mar 29, 2008
Like Mameeskye, I've stopped counting now too (or rather I now only refer to how many 'months' have passed rather than days/weeks!).

I can't get over how strange it feels not to worry... no longer carrying out the obsessive ritual that used to see me checking my home telephone was plugged in and had a dialling tone every night before I went to bed, just incase the NH rang (it used to drive my hubby up the wall!). No longer checking my mobile phone has a signal every 15 minutes while at work or while I'm out anywhere. No longer panic stricken at the mere mention of a break away or holiday. Yes, strange indeed.

(I love and miss you mam, so very much, and I'm sorry for all the times I was cruel and frustrated with you - I know you know that though. I think of you every time I see a rainbow xx)

I've been 'browsing' TP quite a lot since mam's funeral, without posting - but feel that I can now.

Heartfelt and sincere gratitude to TP members for your unconditional and invaluable support - always.

Katie x


Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
Dear Katie, I am so sorry I missed your earlier posting of your dear mum's death. Belated condolences sounds so bad, but sincerly meant.

Your words:
not to worry... no longer carrying out the obsessive ritual that used to see me checking my home telephone was plugged in and had a dialling tone every night before I went to bed, just incase the NH rang
will echo with so many of our members.

Thank you for rejoining us. Any contributions you make will be so valuable. You have travelled the journey. I hope that TP can continue to give you support.


Registered User
Aug 9, 2007
HI Katie


I think you only realise afterwards what a weight you have been holding on your shoulders. I truly thought that it was purely a figure of speech until after Mum died, when eventhough I was sad, as I drove home from the NH I could feel it lift.

It affects your thinking and your actions. You have no true freedom and only once it has gone do you recognise how heavy it truly once.

It doesn't stop you missing your Mum, but is a blessing. I found feelings of happiness that I had not sensed for ages and a feeling of being alive again.

Like you I love and miss my Mum like crazy, but life goes on, just that it is different from before. She would want me to go on and go forward. It is a Mother's greatest gift.


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