1. Doreen

    Doreen Registered User

    Dec 3, 2004
    50
    Oldham
    Hi All,

    Just an update on Jim's condition, he is still aggressive, and they are struggling to see to him in a morning, even though he is still on the drugs. He no longer seems to know me or our daughters and is back with his Mum and Dad. his mum died when he was nine. He flares up for what to us seems nothing but it is very important to him.

    He saw a Physio yesterday, the outcome being he probably wont be able to manage the stairs at home, and I was also told that if he doesnt calm down Home Care will probably refuse to deal with him. There has been a meeting arranged for 17 March with Consultant, staff and family to see what our options are, I am trying hard to put this to the back of my mind, but not succeeding and feeling very tearful tonight, will be better tomorrow I hope.

    Thanks for listening

    Doreen
     
  2. bjthink

    bjthink Guest

     
  3. bjthink

    bjthink Guest

    You'll be getting married on my anniversary.
    Good luck, and happiness.
     
  4. angela.robinson

    angela.robinson Registered User

    Dec 27, 2004
    520
    hi doreen
    i feel deeply for you and your family, and especially your jim .thank you for sharing your experiances with us ,i am allways very interested in them as we are both at a similar place.and it helps to know how your problems are being dealt with,i have been through hell myself this week too, strange how things can change so rapidly,my JIM has been constantly aggitated from morning till night and will not tolerate anyone at all except myself if i am not holding his hand all day he gets very aggressive and jumps up to kill the man he belives i am with .to day this extended to his favourite brother in law ,who was visiting us ,with my sister they had to leave after 20 min, this is happening with every male visitor ,be it my brothers or my son ,who has been trying his best to get some of the jobs that are accumulating,round the house ,it is getting to be like a prison now with everyone scared of calling and i have not been over the doorstep for 4 week now .Ihave a respite due in 2 weeks ,i know i will have to start using them now .as the straws on this camels back are getting very heavy ANGELA
     
  5. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Dear Katy, love and best wishes for a wonderful Wedding day. Lotsaluv, She. XX :)
     
  6. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Dear Doreen, this is all so sad for you, crying is a good release, don't bottle your feelings up it does no good in the long run. Post here when you can. All you can do is your best, if you aren't going to be able to get help at home, it may be you will have to think seriously about a carehome. I know it's not what you want and will break your heart, but it may be for the best in the long run. You will be able to go and see him as you do now and there will be some happy times again when you and he will share a look or a hug. Thinking of you and sending you a big hug. Love She. XX
     
  7. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Dear Angela, as you say, two weeks and you have a respite booked. Just do it Norms way, day by day till then. This agression and accusation thing, my Mum did that too, I think it's due to them not recognising family at times and thinking a stranger is being familiar or something. At least this seemed to be what my Mum did. She felt strangers were poking about so she assumed that the stranger, (my hubby of nearly 40 years) was someone I was having an affair with. Can't offer a solution, but thought it might help to know someone else had seen similar. You must be feeling exhausted, it feels as if your joined at the hip doesn't it? Well today is nearly over so your one day nearer to your respite already! Take care, thinking of you, love and hugs, She. XX
     
  8. Katy44

    Katy44 Registered User

    Sep 14, 2004
    134
    A good time was had by all (grandparents)

    Thank you all for your kind wishes. I had a wonderful day and my Grandma seemed to really enjoy herself too, especially at the church.

    BJ - happy anniversary for yesterday xx
     
  9. Doreen

    Doreen Registered User

    Dec 3, 2004
    50
    Oldham
    Hi She and Angela,

    Thanks for your replies, yesterday was a good day Jim recognised me and for 2 mornings had not attacked the staff when they were trying to dress him, and I thought things were looking up (silly me). Last night the hospital phoned to say he had fallen but was ok. I arrived today to find out that this morning he had bitten and head butted the male nurse who was trying to dress him. He greeted me, his daughter and grandchildren with a mouthful of abuse (they had to be taken home by their father) and continued to abuse for the next 2 hours, he actually kicked me, and this is how we left him. Angela he also thinks I have a man, before he went into hospital, I could not even answer the phone without accusations. This is just the opposite of the person he was, but surely there must be some medication that will work, today an MRI Unit was mentioned, what is that?

    Doreen
     
  10. bjthink

    bjthink Guest


    Congratulations on pulling it off so wonderfully! I hope you had a day to remember. You deserve it.
    And yes, I did remember my anniversary yesterday. It would have been my 38th. Thankfully, my ex-husband remains one of my best friends, as is his wife. They must be coming up to their Silver.....
    Love to you both, and very happy memories.
    xxxxxxxxxx
     
  11. bjthink

    bjthink Guest

    Doreen, this is so hard for you. Yes, they will sort out his medication. That's their job. They have a duty of care towards him, to try to make his condition manageable, without turning him into an over-sedated vegetable.
    After having suffered an entire three-day weekend of my mother's incessant abuse, violence and sick manipulations, I'm at boiling/screaming/get-me-out-of-this point, and the last person to give you advice.
    But in your case, you have to say - THIS IS THE DISEASE NOT THE MAN - so please don't take his behaviour in any way personally. Jim is ill. It's no one's fault, it isn't intentional, it's just so damned sad......
    x
     
  12. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Dear Katy, glad you all had a lovely day. Love She. XX :)
     
  13. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Dear Doreen, although it is awful for you, try not to think of this as Jim, it isn't, it's the disease. The staff caring for him know this and it is important that you do too. I am not sure what you mean by an MRI unit, I thought that stood for Magnetic Resonance, but it may be I just haven't heard of it. An older description of a unit for people with advanced dementia is EMI, Elderly, Mentally, Infirm, could it be that? If it was, the reason for it would be because they are used to dealing with these problems on a daily basis at times. I think there are many names for the same things these days, even depends where you live etc. Ask the staff to explain more what they are planning, to set your mind at rest. Try not to worry, Jim will not be the first to behave like this nor will he be anywhere near the last, once they get medications sorted out for him, hopefully things will settle down a bit. Thinking of you, love She. XX
     
  14. Doreen

    Doreen Registered User

    Dec 3, 2004
    50
    Oldham
    When I joined TP, my question was about stopping Aricept, well today the decision has been taken out of my hands, Jim has been sectioned whilst in the hospital and is having his Aricept stopped from today, I think the time has come, I do not think it is working anymore and now they will work on trying to control the aggression and stop the torture he is going through and maybe bring him some peace even if it is with drugs.

    Doreen
     
  15. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Dear Doreen, I hope so too for both your sakes. You have been through so much, lets hope that the agression can be controlled by a new medication and that things will be easier for you soon. Love She. XX
     
  16. susan

    susan Registered User

    Aug 18, 2003
    125
    east sussex
    Dear Doreen
    This disease sends us all to the edge in many different ways - your situation is no different to my dear dad's when he was first sectioned and to be honest, we were as frightened and anxious about the situation as you are as the decisions are taken away from you. It's hard, very hard, but please have faith they do know what they are doing although at the time it seems to take forever to sort out - sadly medication does not work instantly and it is a trial and error situation to find the right combination of drugs. I can remember feeling so helpless at this stage but it does come right.
    Hang in there, see Jim as he was, in between all the AD nonsense, take care Sue
     
  17. Doreen

    Doreen Registered User

    Dec 3, 2004
    50
    Oldham
    Thank you both for your kind thoughts and experience, went to hospital today and jim was quiet but exhausted from his two over aggresive days, but for once he knew me and thats a bonus.

    Doreen
     
  18. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Dear Doreen, well that has to be good if he knew you and was no longer so aggressive. It's a start, now lets look to the future, where a medication regime will hopefully keep these worst symptoms in check. We all know we can't win this fight, but if it can be less vicious for the sufferers and carers alike, surely that is a Godsend? Thinking of you, love She. XX :)
     

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