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Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by Sarahdun, Sep 13, 2019.
anybody have any experience of this with their PWD? Tips? Pros and cons?
My experience was in Canada so things probably don't apply. My mother was sectioned 3 times. The first time my sister and I brought her to the hospital ostensibly to get free medication. I had brought my mother from British Columbia to my home near Toronto and it was a nightmare. We went through A & E, my sister had written a note with our concerns and we waited to see a doctor. Long story short, my mother was restrained on a gurney by security. It truly was one of the most horrific moments of my life. But she was past all reason, insisting she would take a taxi home (3,000 miles, yeah right).
She was in hospital for 2 weeks in the psych ward and then moved to a retirement home. She eventually moved to a nursing home.
Due to her violent and aggressive behaviour, she was sectioned twice out of the nursing home. I did not witness these as I was at work. You have to understand, my mother was quite physically fit and strong. She was punching, kicking, slapping etc at all and sundry. The second time she was sectioned, she struck 3 residents and 4 staff. This in one day.
I found these events very upsetting but logically I understand why they happened. I think the most important thing for you is to try and be calm and rational about it. Sometimes there is no other option but to have a person sectioned.
My mother was sectioned twice during my childhood. Both times due to Bipolar Disorder, because she was deemed to be either a threat to herself of my sister and I. The situation has to be very serious, in my understanding for sectioning to be warranted.
We may need to consider it in future (I hope not) as my mother now has late stage dementia as well as Bipolar and is occasionally agitated and lashes out at other residents. Not yet serious enough to be moved from her dementia unit or sectioned. Joanne shows above the sort of escalation (for want of a better term, no judgement intended) of this.
As I understand it, you (it may help if you have Health and Welfare POA), a policeman, doctor and maybe social worker can section someone if they deem it necessary. They must have good reason and sectioning can be appealed against, though in the case of PWD I think that is unlikely that they would appeal. Once sectioned, the person would usually be transferred to a secure psychiatric unit - these fall within the NHS.
This can effectively be "against their will" - in her more severe manifestations my mother believed there was nothing wrong with her and sadly needed to be a compulsory inpatient in order to ensure she took her medication. Very difficult for all concerned but my mother did make a recovery from her Bipolar cycles after treatment.
As I understand it, secure units have better security than a care home (or indeed a home) and staff able to administer medication and who are trained in safe restraint should this be needed.
I think the pros would be that you know they are safe, and unlike other settings drug regimens can be formally administered and monitored (doctors on hand) and hopefully dangerous behaviour minimised.
On the cons side, sectioning and the accompanying behaviour will always be hugely traumatising for all concerned.
Sadly, as Joanne says, you reach a point where nothing else is practical.
Thank you for your replies. It prompted a further set of doubts in my as to whether I had done the right thing putting my husband into a Care home since “only I can manage him and control his moods”. This is why I posted.
In fact now that he is in the hospital and I understand what is planned better it has made me really understand that I truly couldn’t carry on at home any more. He looks so well yet is so very ill. At least the hospital is just across the road rather than 20+ miles away.
I've just read these posts as I've come close recently to trying to get my husband sectioned if only to try and see if there is some medication out there that might help. My husband has FTD and is agitated and violent and it's getting worse. I've been working closely with the dementia team trying to find some medication that will help & there is some improvement but it's still pretty horrific most nights. I often lie in bed too scared to sleep because I'm worried he might attack me, not that he has yet.
I've been asking myself more and more lately when is enough enough? I can't bear the thought of him being in a home because I fear it will only make him worse and I do worry that no one else will be as patient and gentle with him as I am. I also know that I am his security and if I take that away from him it's likely to make him far worse. I'm just not sure how much longer I can keep going. I spend my life on the verge of tears and hate feeling scared of the person that I love.
I'm due to have a carers assessment next week as I desperately need a break away from everything but I'm so worried about leaving him as I know he will be terrified if I'm not there. Am I wrong in thinking that sectioning would be an opportunity to get medication sorted & possibly help me keep him at home? Although my husband has very little long or short term memory he is very aware of where he is and what is going on which makes it even worse as he would know where he was & would feel that I had abandoned him. I always promised that I would care for him at home.
My husband has got both better and worse (complicated ...) since I moved him to a Care home recently. In the end there is a limit to how much experimentation with medication they can do there - hospitals are really the place for that especially when any kind of violence is involved.
I felt dreadfully guilty ‘giving up’ on caring for him. I now feel oddly relieved to have all services involved after CH applied to have him sectioned.
On the other hand I swing across the full spectrum of emotions every 24 hours ........
All I would say is walk away when you feel you have done enough - all the care professionals I have met on this journey have been exceptional and are definitely more capable of caring for your/my husband than we fear.
I'm really glad to read that you and your husband are being so well supported
I hope you no longer feel that you have given up in any way ... you are caring for your husband as much as you ever have, simply in a different way and as part of a team
best wishes to you both
I am so concerned by what you have written
no-one should feel afraid to sleep
please make sure you are safe, have a mobile to hand at all times and use it
I hope @Sarahdun has settled your mind a little
none of us want to accept that we need the help of others and to arrange residential care; it can feel like a betrayal, a breaking of promises, an acknowledgement that we have failed ... and it's none of those ... it's a realisation that we need to keep the promise which really meant that we would make sure the person received the very best care available and that involves having support and sadly that may be in residential care
I agree that no-one else will look after your husband as you do ... they will do things differently, but that doesn't mean worse or less effectively ... and you will always be there, standing by him, providing the caring only you his wife can offer; that won't change ... what will change is that you will be able to rest at night and recharge your batteries for each new day
you matter in this as much as your husband ... your safety is equally important ...how would he be if you were harmed in some way and unable to actively provide for his needs
so I'm really relieved that you are having an assessment ... please be brutally honest about what is happening, it's the only way others can begin to understand what help you both need
sorry if I have been too blunt
take care of yourself as well as you take care of your husband
Thank you. First visit today went well. Nice peaceful interlude before the next round of assessments etc.
Didn’t have the courage to answer this one before. I do sympathise. One of my earliest memories is of my schizophrenic mother being taken away to hospital when I was about 3 or 4 and she stayed there best part of 8 years or so. She died over 20 years ago (around 7 before my husband taken ill) but this time it is my demented husband. So far it has all gone better than expected but not sure what the future holds. The nurses are fantastic.