• Expert Q&A: Rare dementias - Tues 3 March, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of rare dementias. It will be hosted by Nikki and Seb from Rare Dementia Support. If you have any questions about rare dementias, they will be here to answer them on Tuesday 3 March between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

Second Assessment

maggier

Registered User
Jan 9, 2006
78
62
manchester
Hi everyone.

Just a quick question, Mum is due a second assessment by the physciatric geriatrician on Friday and I just wondered what might happen on this occasion. Is it just a follow up to ask the same questions all over again, or will they just talk to us as her carers, to see if we have noticed any difference since the mediciation began (she is not on any dementia medication, just anti-psychotic drugs and anti depresessants). just wondered if anyone knew what may happen.

For some reason I get really worried about this kind of thing, as I think in some ways I don't want mum to disgrace herself or feel embarrassed because she cannot remember things (she still feels this way, and she looks to me for her answers when asked something she doesn't know and I feel really bad that I have to sort of ignore her and let her get on with it, like I am betraying her or trying to make her look stupid deliberately)

But anyway we got through it last time so I am sure we will again, although it is to be a different psychiatrist as the last one has moved on (great eh!)

Anyway any help would be greatly appreciated.

Love n hugs

Maggie x x:rolleyes:
 

Kathleen

Registered User
Mar 12, 2005
639
65
West Sussex
Hi Maggie

Mum saw the psychiatrist every three months while she was on galantamine and the routine was the same each time, a mini mental test and a chat with us and her to see how we were all coping.

Since she came off the galantamine her care has been handed over to the GP and the psychiatrist will only call in if she has a real problem with anxiety etc.

I am sure it will be fine, try to relax, your Mum will pick up on the vibes if you are too anxious. Be honest and open and hopefully you will have a good visit.

One last point, Mum's psychiatris liked to have a chat with one of us before he saw her, which was useful as we could tell the truth without upsetting or embarrasing her.

Kathleen
 

Tender Face

Account Closed
Mar 14, 2006
5,379
NW England
maggier said:
Hi everyone.

For some reason I get really worried about this kind of thing, as I think in some ways I don't want mum to disgrace herself or feel embarrassed because she cannot remember things (she still feels this way, and she looks to me for her answers when asked something she doesn't know and I feel really bad that I have to sort of ignore her and let her get on with it, like I am betraying her or trying to make her look stupid deliberately)

Maggie x x:rolleyes:
Maggie, I see you're in Manchester and I gather psycho-geriatricans are a rare breed in this part of the country! - don't know if that is the case countrywide but know mum's GP was desparetely disappointed his referral took so long....

I do know what you mean about 'protecting' mum from disgrace or embarrassment - I know in public I certainly try to do that (even though it would only be me who remembers later) but with doctors and consultants I am trying to let her 'be herself' - and I know that can be so hard - your instinct is to 'jump in and bail her out'.

I can't see any benefit in 'masking' what is going on when they (the docs) aren't there. That is doing no-one any favours. Mum always 'rises to the occasion' and 'performs' well in front of a doctor or consultant... I have recognised for a long time that she is of an age and culture which puts her in awe of them and she seems to want to 'please them' ... but, to me, pleasing them and smiling and pretending eveything is alright negates the whole point of them being there for her.... I know there are lots of times when it is important for me/us to interject so that a doctor has the 'facts' - not mum's version (if she can even remember it)

When the PG came round for an initial visit, I had determined I was going to let mum answer herself (thinking that when and if she couldn't that would actually be part of the assessment)... then those eyes.... looking to me as soon as any question was asked of her.... and, of course, I just wanted to dive in there and bail her out... it's hard, damned hard. I felt it was the 'being cruel to be kind' philosophy we have all heard of or experienced before in some way or other throughout our lives...

When I realised at one point mum was really struggling, and I couldn't stand her misery anymore I asked the PG if it was OK for me to say something - at which point her response made me fight back the tears.... 'This is a group conference and we can all say what we like.' Oh, the relief!!!!

It's only my view, but I feel we would be 'betraying' more if we were to 'cover up' and therefore not secure the help and support they need from professionals as well as us,

My heart goes out to you..... here if you need it.....

Love Karen....., x
 

maggier

Registered User
Jan 9, 2006
78
62
manchester
Thanks for your replies, especially Karen. Yes! I know what you mean, "those eyes" and you obviously know exactly what I mean.

I really appreciate yourt responses and will try and remember when Friday comes. I don't think I had realised just how much this illness affects us as carers, and I think someone else said, it is sometimes more difficult for the carer as they know exactly what is going and and can remember, whereas the actual sufferer does ,most of the time, forget.

I will let you know what happens on Friday.

Love to all

Maggie x
 

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