Dad doesn't bother now trying to get mam to wear her seatbelt as it causes serious aggravation.
Where would he stand if he was stopped by the police?
Where would he stand if he was stopped by the police?
Seat belts
- Thread starter CollegeGirl
- Start date
I shudder to think but it is illegal even though I understand why he has given up.......sorry I am not much help
https://www.gov.uk/seat-belts-law/when-you-dont-need-to-wear-a-seat-belt
I think you have to have a letter from the doc or get fined ,
I think you have to have a letter from the doc or get fined ,
Thank you, I think I will see our GP and ask him if he would be prepared to write a letter or complete a form for dad to keep in the car.
Many thanks for the advice.
Many thanks for the advice.
Two points...never mind a fine...what if she decides to get out when the car is moving?...The second might help...tell her the car does not start if her seat belt is not fastened. and make it so!!
...The second might help...tell her the car does not start if her seat belt is not fastened. and make it so!!I don't know how to add a link but according to the ROSPA website it is the responsibility of the adult passenger NOT the driver to wear a seatbelt so I think it would be your Mum not your Dad that would be in trouble if stopped. The driver is responsible for themselves and any children in the vehicle. Hope this helps. I put seatbelt law in the search box of their website to get this Info.
I would agree with it being the passengers responsibility BUT I have the suspicion that since Mum really doesn't have the capacity to know what she is doing the legal responsibility would revert back to Dad. A doctors letter sounds like the safest bet if you can get one.
I think Maureen's idea is a good one.
Another way of looking at it, suppose one day your dad has to make an emergency stop. Wherever your mum sits, front or back, she's going to hit something if she's not wearing a seat belt. If she sits behind your dad, it could be him she bashes in to.
No matter how carefully or slowly your dad drives, accidents do happen.
Don't want to sound like a doom merchant, & I know how hard it is for your dad.
Lin x
Another way of looking at it, suppose one day your dad has to make an emergency stop. Wherever your mum sits, front or back, she's going to hit something if she's not wearing a seat belt. If she sits behind your dad, it could be him she bashes in to.
No matter how carefully or slowly your dad drives, accidents do happen.
Don't want to sound like a doom merchant, & I know how hard it is for your dad.
Lin x
What is her objection to it? If its ''too tight'' fasten it, pull it out a scrap more at the top and put a clothes peg on it. You can actually leave it quite loose and it still do the job.
if I were your dad i'd be saying no belt= no car. End of.
if I were your dad i'd be saying no belt= no car. End of.
Thank you all for your responses, much appreciated.
If he tried to make her when she didn't want to, I suspect she would be violent to him, get out of the car and walk away. No matter where they were. She did this once before and she disappeared. Dad was frantic; she had ended up in someone's house looking for her mother.
I know there is no easy answer, and I know that not wearing a seatbelt from a safety point of view is a whole other ball game. I just wondered where dad would stand legally if a policeman noticed and stopped the car.
I will tell dad about the tips some of you have suggested for getting her to wear it, thank you - perhaps one will work! She's inconsistent and sometimes will accept him putting it on, and sometimes even puts it on herself without help. Equally, if she really wants to get out of the car it doesn't stop her, she just unclips it, and yet other times she can't do it. But if she doesn't want to do it, that's it, dad just accepts it because it's so difficult to argue.
We use a bulldog clip instead of a peg, Jess, so it's not the tightness that's an issue. I think she just doesn't like to be told what she has to do - in any situation - and refuses to comply, and of course has now lost the ability to reason.
If he tried to make her when she didn't want to, I suspect she would be violent to him, get out of the car and walk away. No matter where they were. She did this once before and she disappeared. Dad was frantic; she had ended up in someone's house looking for her mother.
I know there is no easy answer, and I know that not wearing a seatbelt from a safety point of view is a whole other ball game. I just wondered where dad would stand legally if a policeman noticed and stopped the car.
I will tell dad about the tips some of you have suggested for getting her to wear it, thank you - perhaps one will work! She's inconsistent and sometimes will accept him putting it on, and sometimes even puts it on herself without help. Equally, if she really wants to get out of the car it doesn't stop her, she just unclips it, and yet other times she can't do it. But if she doesn't want to do it, that's it, dad just accepts it because it's so difficult to argue.
We use a bulldog clip instead of a peg, Jess, so it's not the tightness that's an issue. I think she just doesn't like to be told what she has to do - in any situation - and refuses to comply, and of course has now lost the ability to reason.
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All good suggestions to a tricky situation. May I just ask, does your dads car have child locks? I would certainly enable the passenger one. So she couldn't get out if she tried.
A serious thread I know but on a lighter note, if I was stopped in this situation I'd be telling police "Sorry officer I didn't know she'd undone it"
A serious thread I know but on a lighter note, if I was stopped in this situation I'd be telling police "Sorry officer I didn't know she'd undone it"
That's a good suggestion Jess, lol!
The back seats have child locks so he could put her in the back. That's what I used to do in the days when I could look after her, after I had a terrible scare one day when she unclipped her belt and tried to get out of the car while it was moving. Very scary moment, I totally lost it with her that day I'm sorry to say. It shocked me that she would do that and not realise it was dangerous. Anyway, she didn't question being in the back, so that would be worth a try again.
The back seats have child locks so he could put her in the back. That's what I used to do in the days when I could look after her, after I had a terrible scare one day when she unclipped her belt and tried to get out of the car while it was moving. Very scary moment, I totally lost it with her that day I'm sorry to say. It shocked me that she would do that and not realise it was dangerous. Anyway, she didn't question being in the back, so that would be worth a try again.
Only just read this thread. As already mentioned it is the adult passengers responsibility to wear a seat belt. I had the same problem with my dad who would insist on undoing his seatbelt whilst I was driving - after some conversation he would allow me to put it back on when I stopped the car, only for him to take it off again. Him trying to get out whilst the car was moving was also an issue.
I therefore stopped taking my dad out unless I had another passenger to keep dad's seat belt on and to stop him getting out. He would always assume the front seat was his and therefore child locks at rear couldn't come to the rescue.
Only in an absolute emergency will I take dad anywhere without the company of someone else. I have no desire to cause injury to another driver or their passengers because I'm distracted by dad's unsafe behaviour.
I therefore stopped taking my dad out unless I had another passenger to keep dad's seat belt on and to stop him getting out. He would always assume the front seat was his and therefore child locks at rear couldn't come to the rescue.
Only in an absolute emergency will I take dad anywhere without the company of someone else. I have no desire to cause injury to another driver or their passengers because I'm distracted by dad's unsafe behaviour.
I think it's just another part of this rotten illness restricting life still further.
There are medical exemptions but to be honest the GP would be remiss if he issued a letter based on challenging behaviour, as Tigers15 says that would make the driver distracted and not fully alert, so the answer may be another supervising adult or just not travelling in a car.
It's another reason your Dad must begin to listen to how things are constantly changing.
If a letter is given by GP for medical exemption, Dad's insurance company will have to be informed.
All in all, there seems to be no easy way around it, apart from taking a chance and bearing any consequences.
Mine's a rotten old post, I'm sorry CG. xxx
There are medical exemptions but to be honest the GP would be remiss if he issued a letter based on challenging behaviour, as Tigers15 says that would make the driver distracted and not fully alert, so the answer may be another supervising adult or just not travelling in a car.
It's another reason your Dad must begin to listen to how things are constantly changing.
If a letter is given by GP for medical exemption, Dad's insurance company will have to be informed.
All in all, there seems to be no easy way around it, apart from taking a chance and bearing any consequences.
Mine's a rotten old post, I'm sorry CG. xxx
For information, CG, I know my dad had the same with my mum, he gave up making her wear a seat belt for a while. Sometimes you just reach the end of your tether, I did nothing about it I'm afraid because I too had reached pretty much the end of mine as well.
I usually managed to get her to wear a belt in my car because she hated the annoying ping that my car makes if you don't put it on. On the times I didn't get her to put it on I was so stressed out it was the least of my worries. Call me irresponsible if you like, I am not suggesting this is right but am recalling how distorted my mind was.
I drove mum for the first time on my own in about three years the other day when I took her to emergency respite, it is a doddle getting the seatbelt on now, so things change.
I usually managed to get her to wear a belt in my car because she hated the annoying ping that my car makes if you don't put it on. On the times I didn't get her to put it on I was so stressed out it was the least of my worries. Call me irresponsible if you like, I am not suggesting this is right but am recalling how distorted my mind was.
I drove mum for the first time on my own in about three years the other day when I took her to emergency respite, it is a doddle getting the seatbelt on now, so things change.
Just catching up with my old posts, thanks Tigers, Gwen and SisterM for your input, much appreciated. I think I'm going to take the lazy girl's stance and do nothing. Dad is an adult and has decided not to worry about it, so rightly or wrongly I'll take my cue from that. I'm too tired to do anything else.
Getting the seatbelt on in the first place might be the main issue, but would something like this be helpful, once its on? Always assuming its straightforward enough for your dad to release it again when he needs to.
http://www.especialneeds.com/seat-belt-buckle-guard.html
Flo
http://www.especialneeds.com/seat-belt-buckle-guard.html
Flo
CG stepping back is so hard, isn't it? There's no switch in the brain to flick when something's clearly a problem but not one within our control. I have to just keep reminding myself Mum's an adult and has the right to make decisions her doctor and I aren't thrilled with. Often. Very often
Hope your recovery is racing along at speed, and the post surgical exhaustion is beginning to ebb,
Toni x
