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Searching for Clarity

Miss Tikl

Registered User
Oct 8, 2013

Not sure where to start. My dad was diagnosed in the early part of this year, but has been going down hill for a good couple of years, he also suffers with vascular disease in the brain simultaneously (which has a similar effect as a stroke each time it happens).

He was until last week functioning at home, able to dress walk, feed, clean and generally be left alone, my mum (71) still works full time!! Last week my dad fell. Being alone he got up walked (hobbled) back to his chair. It turns out he has broken the head of his femur and has now had a partial hip replacement.

Routine is so important to my dad, he is almost OCD with it. So being in hospital is truly ruining him. I have watched him go from unhappy at being there, to now almost a shell if a man. Confused, angry, hurt (I think he thinks we have dumped him there). We continually explain he has to get better to come home, but he doesn't remember, and it just appears to be getting worse as the days go on.

My question is, he was functioning and lucid before he went into hospital, I know anaesthetic and medication play a huge part in unsettling and disturbing people with this horrific ailment, but he seems to be regressing at an alarming rate, will he come back to us mentally, be able to function as he was?

The hospital have us there with open visiting hours just to try to help him
Stay calm, he keeps just getting up and walking off, he did this 2hrs after his op!! Causing major concern, grief and pain to himself.

He just seems to have given up and closed down. He sleeps a lot but not restfully, if he comes home will he come back? Does anyone have any experience of this.

For my mums sake I just hope the answer is that more than likely yes. The consequences of "no" are to horrible to think of.

Whilst typing this I have received a message to say he fell last night in hospital. No further breaks but I can't see him calming and understanding enough for him to heal and recover. :(


Registered User
Jun 8, 2012
A warm welcome from me Miss Tizi, I am sorry you are going through this difficult time.

No one on here would be qualified to tell you whether he will recover mentally or not but what I am sure and positive you will hear it's lots of times when there has been a rapid deterioration to their mental health when in hospital which improve massively when they come home.

On one discharge Mum was so confused she was screaming the ward down that the staff were trapping her and I'd made them hide her medications. When I got her home she settled really well.

Your poor dad is in a place that confuses and disorientates him as does his lack of mobility. He probably forgets he's had a hip replacement and tries to get around as normal.

At this stage focus on today, let tomorrow take care of itself, easy for me to say and very hard to do. No one can tell you how he'll recover but keep in touch with the REACT team, they have initiated the process to get mum:

A wet room - couldn't get into the bath
Raised toilet seat - safer as not so far to reach it.
Grab rails by the doors.
Memory board for instructions in case they forget.
Memory clock so she can remember what day it is.
Changes to the garden so she can get around it safely.
A manual wheelchair as she can't walk far.
A hospital bed - she used to fall out of her ordinary electric one.

Honestly there is a lot that can be done before you are facing your worst case scenario fears. The authorities that be try really hard to keep people in their own homes IF IT IS SAFE to do so.

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