So my wife told me this morning she wants her own space. That she shouldn't have let people in her house and wants me to leave. She was diagnosed with MCI in 2016 and then early onset alzheimers in 2018. She's 60 and we've been together since we were 16 and married at 18. She has been my whole life and although I know its the disease talking it's still distressing.
And as I type this she has just had the conversation anew with me again. I just agree and tell her Ok but I can't move out today and that satisfies her for the moment.
On her diagnosis I gave up work to look after her and we moved last year into a retirement community. A quiet village setting, a social centre where we could have understanding company and at first she did well. Then lockdown struck. The centre closed, briefly re-opened and closed again. I was terrified she would contract covid and be in hospital without me, without any context, surrounded by people in full PPE. It would be a nightmare. Unable to fix in her mind the need to socially distance and wear a mask we've been at home since March and her condition has deteriorated at a frightening speed.
She doesn't recognise me, her sons or her grandchildren. She mutters constantly, talking herself though any actions. I'm going to wash the tea-towels, then I'll fold them, they belong in the cupboard...
Memantine was added to her medication but it has made no difference.
Cards, jigsaws, games, puzzles, TV, quizzes I can't find anything to to hold her attention and she wanders from room to room in our bungalow. She makes short perfunctory answers to avoid conversations. I never thought I 'd be sick of the sound of my own voice but if I'm not tlqking there's usually quiet, When we go for walks, now limited by weather as she hates the cold, she marches like a soldier striding ahead, not talking and because of an old work injury I struggle to even keep up.
Up till now i have focussed on counting our blessings. I have friends who lost loved ones unexpectedly and know how devastating that was. I felt at least we'd have some time together and we do but not in a way I could have foreseen.
Like most carers I try to be always positive but today is a scary day and makes me fear for the future.
Apologies for being downbeat but I just needed a release today. Any distraction tactics advice would be very welcome.
And as I type this she has just had the conversation anew with me again. I just agree and tell her Ok but I can't move out today and that satisfies her for the moment.
On her diagnosis I gave up work to look after her and we moved last year into a retirement community. A quiet village setting, a social centre where we could have understanding company and at first she did well. Then lockdown struck. The centre closed, briefly re-opened and closed again. I was terrified she would contract covid and be in hospital without me, without any context, surrounded by people in full PPE. It would be a nightmare. Unable to fix in her mind the need to socially distance and wear a mask we've been at home since March and her condition has deteriorated at a frightening speed.
She doesn't recognise me, her sons or her grandchildren. She mutters constantly, talking herself though any actions. I'm going to wash the tea-towels, then I'll fold them, they belong in the cupboard...
Memantine was added to her medication but it has made no difference.
Cards, jigsaws, games, puzzles, TV, quizzes I can't find anything to to hold her attention and she wanders from room to room in our bungalow. She makes short perfunctory answers to avoid conversations. I never thought I 'd be sick of the sound of my own voice but if I'm not tlqking there's usually quiet, When we go for walks, now limited by weather as she hates the cold, she marches like a soldier striding ahead, not talking and because of an old work injury I struggle to even keep up.
Up till now i have focussed on counting our blessings. I have friends who lost loved ones unexpectedly and know how devastating that was. I felt at least we'd have some time together and we do but not in a way I could have foreseen.
Like most carers I try to be always positive but today is a scary day and makes me fear for the future.
Apologies for being downbeat but I just needed a release today. Any distraction tactics advice would be very welcome.