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Scared of hospital

yabisnis

New member
Jan 13, 2021
8
0
My gran has Alzheimer's and vascular dementia. She's been quite well until she contracted covid over the Christmas period. She was walking with assistance, talking and eating fine. Since she fell ill she's completely lost all strength in her body and she's slowly stopped eating and talking at all. Today we managed to feed her some Weetabix in the morning after alot of coaxing and that was it. When we try to feed her she's either just hold the food in her mouth and not swallow or clench her mouth together. I think she has mostly forgotten how to swallow but I'm not sure if she's clenching her mouth because she doesn't want to eat or she just can't because she clenches her hands as well even when we're not feeding her. We're taking it step by step trying to make her as comfortable as possible but I'm terrified of what to do if she deteriorates. I don't want her to end up dying in hospital. I spoke to the GP today and he suggested it could be a stroke and wanted to send an ambulance to take her to hospital but I refused partly because I had previously spoken to the TIA specialists who said there wasnt much else they could do other than make her comfortable. I am terrified that something will happen like her breathing getting too difficult or her oxygen or heart rate getting too low, and I'll have to make the call to the GP/ambulance service. What if they don't allow me to go with her. What if they admit her to hospital and she dies alone. I don't know what to do.
 

Weasell

Registered User
Oct 21, 2019
1,282
0
You must be so worried.
Can I ask if she is drinking? and how old she is ( not that her age really makes much difference)

One bit of information I can give you is my mother was taken away in an ambulance last week and I was not allowed to go with her ( Covid regulations).

Also back in the day ( before Covid ) she would have been kept in, not returned home a few hours later. It is very obvious they have no beds. ( This is not a criticism
just life at present)

I have to confess I don’t have the correct answer to your post.
I often work on asking the same question to various people until I get an answer I like. So I wonder if you have Admiral Nurses in you area to call ?
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
2,814
0
Hi @yabisnis, welcome to Dementia Talking Point. It's a very friendly community and you'll get lots of help and advice here.
I can well understand you not wanting your grandmother to go to hospital at the moment. However it does sound as though she has declined a lot and needs someone to come out and check her over. Would the GP do a home visit, or at least send out a district nurse.
You might want to phone the Dementia Support Line and talk through the best way to support your grandmother. Their number is 0333 150 3456.
I'm sure others that have been in this particular position will be along soon with their thoughts.
 

angelict

Registered User
Jan 16, 2020
153
0
You must be so worried.
Can I ask if she is drinking? and how old she is ( not that her age really makes much difference)

One bit of information I can give you is my mother was taken away in an ambulance last week and I was not allowed to go with her ( Covid regulations).

Also back in the day ( before Covid ) she would have been kept in, not returned home a few hours later. It is very obvious they have no beds. ( This is not a criticism
just life at present)

I have to confess I don’t have the correct answer to your post.
I often work on asking the same question to various people until I get an answer I like. So I wonder if you have Admiral Nurses in you area to call ?
The number for Admiral Nurses is 0800 888 6678 😉
 

yabisnis

New member
Jan 13, 2021
8
0
I did call an ambulance and take her to the hospital eventually and they did slot of flip flopping. First they said it was covid and reversible and she wasn't end of life and then they said she is very near end of life and they wouldn't be able to reverse her conditions in hospital so we took her home. She's not eating or drinking at all so she's not going to last very long. I'm just worried about her pain management now. She doesn't have palative care in place yet because of the weekend and because she's not right at the end according to them theyre not giving her anything for us to take home. Can anyone give me some advice about what pain management can be provided towards the end especially if she's not eating or drinking
 

yabisnis

New member
Jan 13, 2021
8
0
Hi @yabisnis, welcome to Dementia Talking Point. It's a very friendly community and you'll get lots of help and advice here.
I can well understand you not wanting your grandmother to go to hospital at the moment. However it does sound as though she has declined a lot and needs someone to come out and check her over. Would the GP do a home visit, or at least send out a district nurse.
You might want to phone the Dementia Support Line and talk through the best way to support your grandmother. Their number is 0333 150 3456.
I'm sure others that have been in this particular position will be along soon with their thoughts.
Thank you. Reading everyone's messages has really helped me and I feel so much more prepared than before.
 

Weasell

Registered User
Oct 21, 2019
1,282
0
I did call an ambulance and take her to the hospital eventually and they did slot of flip flopping. First they said it was covid and reversible and she wasn't end of life and then they said she is very near end of life and they wouldn't be able to reverse her conditions in hospital so we took her home. She's not eating or drinking at all so she's not going to last very long. I'm just worried about her pain management now. She doesn't have palative care in place yet because of the weekend and because she's not right at the end according to them theyre not giving her anything for us to take home. Can anyone give me some advice about what pain management can be provided towards the end especially if she's not eating or drinking

In your position I would like one of these kits to be in my property?
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
14,939
0
South coast
Please contact your GP today @yabisnis and tell them that the hospital have said that she is at End of Life and sent her home. The GP can prescribe a "just-in-case box" (I think this is probably the kit that @Weasell linked) and can organise District Nurses to come in regularly to administer pain relief and other medication. My mum was given a syringe driver by the District Nurses when it became obvious that injections were not sufficient and this kept her pain free and comfortable.

People who die from dementia can go a surprisingly long time with no food or fluid - my mum went 17 days, but it is not usually so long. It is a very difficult time.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))
 

yabisnis

New member
Jan 13, 2021
8
0
Thank you everyone for your advice and suggestions. I did call the ambulance and they took her in to hospital but didn't admit her. Its been a completely nightmare trying to get pain medication in place and I would strongly suggested to anyone else in a similar position to make sure it is all taken care of before the weekend. The palative care team were so helpful but without a prescription from my gp or a plan in place it was horrendous trying to get the 111 doctors or out of hours doctors to prescribe anything. She is comfortable now and there's nothing else I can do to help her just be by her side.
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
2,814
0
Glad that your mother is now comfortable @yabisnis. I hope you have someone around who can make sure you are OK while you are doing all that you can for your mother.