My recent thread was because for over 2 months now, my mum has refused to see me or speak on the phone to me, however today, she had the home call me to say she wants to see me, and I am visiting tomorrow at 10am. I do call the home every week to see how she is.
The background is that I lived with and looked after her for 7 years prior to her going in a home 2 years ago.
The staff member informed me that today she saw a consultant privately for a prolapse because she felt the wait for NHS was too long. I was aware of this because I have POA and gave the financial go ahead for the private consultation. However, the consultant didn't think it warranted an operation and attempted to explain to mum that even if it did, due to essential medication having to be stopped prior to the op, she may not recover at all, so he would not be willing to do it.
My concern is that for the last 9 years, when things don't go as mum wants/demands, she takes it out on me and is emotionally hurtful to the point of cruel, and I'm dreading the visit because she expects me to have a magic wand that will make everything as she wants it to be. The reason she's refused to see me recently was nothing to do with me, but due to a dislike to a staff member at the home.
Does anyone have any advise about how I can discuss this with her tomorrow without upsetting her? I'm at a total loss, and not sure how much more I can take before I end up turning my back on her.
The background is that I lived with and looked after her for 7 years prior to her going in a home 2 years ago.
The staff member informed me that today she saw a consultant privately for a prolapse because she felt the wait for NHS was too long. I was aware of this because I have POA and gave the financial go ahead for the private consultation. However, the consultant didn't think it warranted an operation and attempted to explain to mum that even if it did, due to essential medication having to be stopped prior to the op, she may not recover at all, so he would not be willing to do it.
My concern is that for the last 9 years, when things don't go as mum wants/demands, she takes it out on me and is emotionally hurtful to the point of cruel, and I'm dreading the visit because she expects me to have a magic wand that will make everything as she wants it to be. The reason she's refused to see me recently was nothing to do with me, but due to a dislike to a staff member at the home.
Does anyone have any advise about how I can discuss this with her tomorrow without upsetting her? I'm at a total loss, and not sure how much more I can take before I end up turning my back on her.