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satisfaction??

chelsea girl

Registered User
Jan 25, 2015
139
Mum has alzheimers and lives with us. She goes to a day centre 3 times a week which she seems to enjoy but when she returns home, she shouts more that usual and expects me to sit with her even if im trying to prepare tea. I sometimes feel shes happier at the day centre and feel bad that i cant provide the attention she wants! Am i making her unhappy?, i wish we could affort a ch but we cant!. I feel as if we are on a vicious circle that no one is happy with
 

Tin

Registered User
May 18, 2014
4,825
UK
My mum was like this for a while, seemed whatever we did or no matter how busy I kept her, it just wasn't enough. We would spend every morning out and about, but still in the afternoon she would ask what we were doing now! Also a few months ago her chatter was non stop and she wanted me with her all the time, if she couldn't see me she would come looking. Its all changed now, although she still follows me or wants to know where I am, its not as obsessive. I suppose what I,m trying to say is whatever you do will never be enough, its this dreadful illness.
 

chelsea girl

Registered User
Jan 25, 2015
139
My mum was like this for a while, seemed whatever we did or no matter how busy I kept her, it just wasn't enough. We would spend every morning out and about, but still in the afternoon she would ask what we were doing now! Also a few months ago her chatter was non stop and she wanted me with her all the time, if she couldn't see me she would come looking. Its all changed now, although she still follows me or wants to know where I am, its not as obsessive. I suppose what I,m trying to say is whatever you do will never be enough, its this dreadful illness.
Thanks tin. Most of the time she doesnt know shes shouting, which makes me feel that i shouldnt worry so much about it but i cant help it!! This disease is vile isnt it? Xxx
 

Tin

Registered User
May 18, 2014
4,825
UK
Can think of stronger language to describe this, but for the printed word vile will do! It turns you inside out trying to work out why/what can we do to make life easier. Trying to work out what my mum wants even after hours of activity, sharing my friends with her, encouraging rest of family to visit as often as they can, honestly my mum has never had a fuller life. The quiet days at home are for my benefit because I need the rest. To be fair things have got easier, mum's medication has changed and I think there has been some deterioration. I'm trying hard to accept it for what it is and know that I can do nothing about it. Had a reasonably quiet weekend here and I'm grateful for that.
 

Spamar

Registered User
Oct 5, 2013
7,070
Suffolk
Chelseagirl,
'I wish we could afford a ch but we can't. '
It's not for you to pay, it's your mum. If she hasn't got the wherewithal, then the LA.

Have you ever dropped into daycare unexpectedly? You might find the reason why mum shouts when she gets home. Or talk to the Carers, they might have an idea.
 

chelsea girl

Registered User
Jan 25, 2015
139
Chelseagirl,
'I wish we could afford a ch but we can't. '
It's not for you to pay, it's your mum. If she hasn't got the wherewithal, then the LA.

Have you ever dropped into daycare unexpectedly? You might find the reason why mum shouts when she gets home. Or talk to the Carers, they might have an idea.
I am an only child and have always lived with mum. Its her house. But i do not have p.o.a . if she goes into a ch they will expect us to sell house when anything happens to her wont they?